The Couples Therapist Couch

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle If you've been working with couples for long, you know that betrayal is a theme that comes up a lot. Whether it is a full on sexual affair or just the small betrayals of everyday life. Many couples are going to need help healing in their relationships or possibly even grieving in a divor...

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle More than ever it is clear from the research that trauma has a huge impact on all of our relationships. It is important for therapists to have some background knowledge or training to help them maintain a sense of safety when people get triggered. Irina Wen, PhD talks about how the attac...

In this episode, Natalie Lue talks about her new book called, The Joy of Saying No: How to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaiming Boundaries, and Saying Yes to the Life You Want. We talked about how in order to say no to your partner it requires authenticity and vulnerability which are going to be helpful to the relationship overall. Find out more about Natalie Lue at https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ T...

In this episode, Louisa Krause talks about using the Enneagram in Couples Therapy. The Enneagram is a system of personality types that helps people understand themselves and others. It is principally understood and taught as a typology of nine interconnected personality types. Find out more about Louisa Krause at relationalsolutions.net Find more enneagram stuff for therapists through The Narrativ...

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle This episode is a miniworkshop on how to work with people who are emotionally avoidant. There are two primary ways that emotional avoidance gets formed based on the environment in which the person grew up.  The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interview...

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle In this episode, Cyndi Darnell talks about how we need to change the way we talk about sex, gender, pleasure, and power. We also discuss some of the mistakes that therapists make when talking about sex with their clients.  To find out more about Cyndi Darnell visit cyndidarnell.com The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapi...

Find out more about the free virtual event: State of Mental Health in America When there is betrayal in a relationship, everything about the person's identity has been chipped away. People in this situation are left to figure out who they are and what they stand for. In this episode, Lora Cheadle and I discuss the challenge of recovering from a betrayal. She describes her 5 step process called FLA...

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle In this episode, Dr. Sabrina N'Diaye, talks about the idea of misunderstandings about the meaning and experience of love. All human beings experience injuries to the heart at times in their life. As therapists, we must deepen our work both with our clients, but also ourselves in order to move back into the reality of love.  Dr. Sabrina N'Diaye...

When Terry Real started working with couples in the 90s he found that the conventional wisdom just did not work. Eventually he created his own model for working with couples called Relational Life Terapy.  He has also published several books including his most recent called US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.  Find out more at terryreal.com If you want to buy the book...

In today's episode I spoke with Dr. William Doherty about the role of a therapist when clients bring us difficult situations, decisions, and ethical dilemmas they are facing in their lives. As therapists we are in a unique position to help people these very personal issues, but we have to be skilled at how we do that. Dr. William Doherty has been a leader in pushing the field of couples therapy to...

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle In our society, it is modeled from a very young age to suppress our emotional experience. This is traumatic for children in particular and for humans in general.  Somatic experiencing is a type of therapy which helps people to become more embodied and move into acceptance of the emotions they are experiencing.  Dr. Abi Blakeslee, SEP, CMT, MFT...

In this episode, my friend and fellow Relational Life Therapist, Juliane Taylor Shore, talks about Neurobiology and Relationships.  If you are a couples therapist, you probably know a lot about things that work to make couples feel more connected and healthy in their lives and relationships. Jules sheds light on the science of "why" therapy works.  Find out more at cleariskind.com The Couples Ther...

Richard Hill and Matthew Dahlitz recently wrote a book called The Practitioner's Guide to the Science of Psychotherapy.  They discuss the importance for therapists to have some background in the science of psychotherapy in order to best serve their clients. This information is very lacking so far in the world of therapy. They also have a magazine and podcast called the Science of Psychotherapy. Fi...

Harville Hendrix, Ph. D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph. D., are partners in life and work.  They are authors of the classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, and ten other books including their newly published: Doing Imago Relationship Therapy: In the Space Between. Find out more about them at harvilleandhelen.com and about Imago Relationship Therapy at imagorelationships.org The Coup...

This is a very vulnerable episode with Wesley Anne Little where she talks about her experiences as a therapist going through cancer, chemo treatments, and a lot of unpredictability in her life.  It is so important for us as therapists to practice what we preach when it comes to self-compassion, setting boundaries, and self-care. Wesley is a great example for us and very generously opens up about h...

The reality of supremacy culture and generational trauma continue to show up in our lives in a big way. People often struggle with perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and issues in their relationships and they don't understand why. Shirani Pathak talks about these topics in the episode today. She has a podcast called Fierce Authenticity and a book of the same name.  You can find out more about her a...

This episode is a recording of one of the live Inner Circle webinars which are part of the experience of being a member of the Couples Therapist Inner Circle . This is a continuation of last week on the topic of self-esteem and boundaries. The Inner Circle is open right now if you are looking to take your practice with couples to the next level. Click on the link for more information . Self-esteem...

This episode is a recording of one of the live Inner Circle webinars which are part of the experience of being a member of the Couples Therapist Inner Circle . The Inner Circle is open right now if you are looking to take your practice with couples to the next level. Click on the link for more information . Self-esteem and Boundaries are an essential part of our experience as humans in relationshi...

Divorce is almost considered to be a bad word in Couples Therapy, but the reality is that there are still a lot of situations where this is the appropriate choice or where it happens to people whether they want it to or not.  It is very important for us as therapists to be able to help people through this very difficult time. Kristy Gaisford and Jerry Sander focus specifically on helping people wh...

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle In the episode this week, Beth Irias from Clearly Clinical talks about feedback informed treatment with couples. She does an amazing job of explaining the importance of documentation and tracking outcomes. One of the things that resonated for me is how it all comes back to being able to serve our clients as effectively as possible by determini...

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle If you work with couples you know that a large percentage of the people seeking help have experienced some sort of infidelity in their relationship. As Couples Therapists, it is important that we know how to work with these couples and help them recover from the infidelity in a meaningful way. Dr. Talal Alsaleem is an expert at helping couples...

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle A lot of times, when couples work with therapists who don't have good couples therapy training, they feel like it is hard to make any progress.  In this episode, Shane talks with certified Relational Life Therapist, Dr. Pam Staples about the importance of being direct and speaking the truth to couples with love and respect. Find out more about...

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle . In this episode, Liz Phillips gives an overview of Internal Family Systems (IFS), a therapy model that was developed by Dick Schwartz.  She also talks about Intimacy From the Inside Out (IFIO) which is a model of couples therapy that comes from IFS. In IFIO therapy, each member of the couple is invited into a process,...

Click here to learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle In this episode, Shane talks about what makes Relational Life Therapy different from many other models of Couples Therapy. One of the ways we create change in RLT is by joining through the truth.  In order to understand this in more depth, we have to understand the importance of acceptance of emotions and treating people with love,...

Get your 3 free videos on Relational Life Therapy with Terry Real In this episode, Shane is joined by Dr. Rick Butts who is one of the founders of the Healing Our Core Issues Institute. This is based on the work of Pia Mellody and teaches therapists how to do Inner Child Work.  He goes into detail about the 4 pillars of Healing Our Core Issues as well as discussing the 6 aspects of the nature of a...