Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups

A.J. Mahari responds to a Youtube viewers comments on a Youtube Video and talks about and explains the reality that people don't need to know if someone is 100% diagnosable with BPD when you see in them and experience from them all the BPD patterns and traits. Many people who could be diagnosed with BPD never will be. Why do you like so many still want your BPD Ex back? Codependent repetition comp...

BPD Girlfriend Wants Space - Slow Split to Devaluation and Ghosting - Now what? When a BPD girlfriend or BPD Boyfriend wants space it is a slow split to devaluation and ghosting - Now what? What does this mean? Is it over? Is it a final discard? what is a slow split to devaluation and ghosting anyway? Not all people with Borderline Personality Disorder are the same. Even untreated, they do not all...

There is a plethora of misinformation out there that isn't going to help the vast majoirty of you at all. Are you continuing to focus on the person with BPD in your life or who was in your life? What about you? How can you build a bridge back to a healthier you? The first step is to get into therapy and startto learn how to start focusing on you and not the Cluster B.

People with Borderline Personality Disorder uhtreated or not successfully treated cannot, will not, do not and have not loved you. People with BPD do not know how to love or attach to you because they do not know the "lost self" within BPD. People with BPD have no self from which to relate to others. People with BPD are not capable of loving you. They do not know how to receive your love and they...

How to achieve Surviving a BPD Relationship Breakup that is actually the end of therelationship and the breakup. How and why endless focus on is the Borderline only a Borderline or a BPD/NPD or a Borderline 'Psychopath' is meaningless because it keeps you stuck in the pain and agony of not focusing on yourself and your own healing and recovery journey to break free of the unhealthy bond and no lon...

Borderlines or narcissists do not cause or create situational (or "Temporary") Narcissism or "acquired narcissism" in people with Codependency. To suggest that this has any factual truth to it is to misinform people with Codependency. Codependency is still not that well understood for what it really is, means, and how people develop codepenency in childhood. It is extermely important not to fuse C...

Malignant Borderline is a meaningless term. An internet term not a clinical term. It is now being forwarded online as slippery language for (supposedly) co-morbid BPD/ASPD women. In this podcast I give you 8 traits of ASPD and the 4 C's that can help you differentiate a woman (or man) with ASPD from one with BPD. Less than 2% of all women diagnosed with BPD (according to all the research papers to...

A response and my understanding or this "psychopathy" or "secondary psychopathy" co-mingled with BPD and really not in a meaningful way. I responsd ro another Youtuber - a therapist - who essentially describes BPD as Malignant Borderline Females by describing BPD and not explaining well or at all the delineation between "Malignant Borderline" (which is meaningless) or BPD/ASPD (controversial) from...

BPD Breakup that doesn't seem to have an end in sight. What is the BPD Final Discard? Is there such a thing as a BPD final discard? How to go from this limbo place to ending BPD Breakup ghost and/or discard cycles.

For most people after being ghosted or discarded by a Borderline or Narcissist Ex rumination is central and very painful. For those also with Limerence this focus on the Ex can be even more intense. The intense focus on the Cluster B increases your pain and your increased pain will exacerbate the intensity of your focus on the Cluster B. This is agony, and dangerous emotionally and physically beca...

BPD hoovers are about the borderline - not you. People with Borderline Personality do not consider your needs or feelings when they hoover. They are as usual only thinking about themselves and their wants and needs. In BPD Hoovers Borderlines lie, make false promises, and effectively gaslight you. BPD Hoovers trigger the codependent's sense of I can fix what I did wrong and get a do-over. People w...

7 Signs that you are relating to a person with Borderline Personality who may not be diagnosed or if diagnosed hasn't disclosed that to you. These 7 signs are more nuanced to emotional instability and the communication impossibility that are both core deficits of people with BPD, diagnosed or not. Too many people have a sense or highly suspect a person you are dating or in a relationship with has...

Borderlines and Codependents both have considerable denial. It's not manifested in each groups lives the exact same way yet it underpins a lot of this most unhealthy bond. Online Borderlines often use "we" when they share their narrative (often not a very aware one). People with Codependency most often use "they" and this matters not only because of Codependent denial but also the often focused on...

The relational impossibility with people with Borderline Personality Disorder is about them - NOT YOU! It's time to respect yourself, get into therapy to heal and recover and go and stay no contact. It's time to find you again. The breakup was not you, it was the borderline. You are not at fault or to blame.

BPD or NPD relationship breakups. The first step to surviving and transitioning to an active recovery process begins with a rationally known final Breakup even when cognitive and emotional dissonance still drives rumination and strong feelings of wanting an Ex back but knowing that you just can't do it again.

BPD relationships are no win relationships for those with BPD and for those who try so hard to love them. They are about control struggle two-way dynamics. These relationships between people with BPD and people with Codependency lack emotional intimacy, lack respect, lack mutuality and reciprocity. BPD Relationships are no win relationships with all the foundational pillars of healthy love being a...

BPD triggers are real but others closest to a person with BPD do not cause their triggers. You are not responsible for how they feel. And, Borderlines, while responsible for often hurting others, and lacking any personal responsibility or accountability - they don't make people with Codependency or who are close to them feel how you feel either. It is how you think that creates how you feel.

There are 10 major choices that can lead to the action of trying to get your BPD Ex back that have consequences. For most who might succeed at getting a BPD Ex back the Borderline devaluation cycles that lead to relationship breakup again happen faster and there is no re-idealization in getting a BPD Ex back. These relationships are unhealthy, and will not work out.

BPD Breakup - Want Your Ex Back? Codependents Need For Radical Acceptance In In any BPD Relationship Breakup Ex's or on/off Ex's often with Codependency need to learn and pratice radical acceptance along with getting expert help whether still wanting the BPD Ex back or not. Radically accepting that people with untreated BPD do not love you, cannot love you or attach to you, and they cannot take in...

Borderline Revolving Door Situationship -Can It Work? Borderline Revolving Door Situationships see the borderline come and go many times in weeks or months. Why do Codependents keep letting them come back?

Does Your BPD Ex Remember The Good Times? A.J. Mahari's answer, the explanation and how staying invested in this answer is self-abandonment and going to increase your pain. What do you need to do to get past this question and false hope to start healing your pain?

Borderline Inability To Communicate Part 2 Tennis Anyone? A.J. Mahari in Part 2 of the impossibility of communicating in BPD relationships to people with untreated BPD who have no logic and no self from which to communicate mutually rather than defend at all costs.

Borderline Core Communication Deficits No Ability to Repair Or Give Closure to Any BPD Episode. Untreated people with BPD have no emotional maturity to take personal responsibility and be open to reparative communication instead they defend, deflect, blame, rage, and twist your words back at you in a projective and childlike way.

Reverse Hoovers of The Borderline After Being Ghosted only increase your pain after a BPD Relationship Breakup. The path to surviving the BPD Relationship Breakup and learning to cope with your pain means getting into action in therapy to heal and recover from the relationship and family of origin childhood trauma or woundedness.

BPD Splitting More Devaluation Less Idealization In BPD Relationships - A.J. Mahari goes deep into BPD Splitting revealing that there is no continued cycle of idealization to devaluation but rather devaluation to its cessation temporarily to BPD base mood. People with BPD do not see or hear you for who you really are just as object other parent representation re-experiencing repetition compulsions...