So Very Wrong About Games

The Peter Principle observes that people tend to get promoted to their level of incompetence. Namely if someone does a job well, they'll be promoted, until such time as they cease doing a job well and persist at that level of ineptitude. We mention this not because it accurately describes the arc of Mark's life both professionally and personally--which, let's face it, it does--but rather because w...

Sometimes categories are useful taxonomical tools, and sometimes they are so blunt as to be confusing and unhelpful. What gets parsed as "worker placement" can get downright murky at times. To Walker, though, the world is clear and simple. Tolstoy tells us that "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Walker has a modified view--all fun games are fun and thus...

Just as we are told that it's always five o'clock somewhere, we can be assured that Mark and Walker are always wrong somewhere. Time marches inexorably forward, and we mark that passage of time by checking in with the much-loved Quartermaster General series. Mark would happily tell you that time is nothing more and nothing less than a priori intuition, which when internalized allows us to ground t...

Sometimes our hosts can't quite understand what the situation demands of them. Walker has been known to approach thoughtful, deliberative games with the oft-repeated demand of "when do I get to shoot LEMME SHOOT." Mark tends to greet new acquaintances with profanity-laden assaults on their life choices, hygiene, and character. These traits perhaps serve to explain how they find themselves in the s...

We take endorsements very seriously here at SVWAG. The Ferragamo deal fell through after Walker was seen wearing Fendi, and the whole Burberry fiasco is better left forgotten. Converse was our backup, but suffice to say after Mark's public comments about sportsball that seems like a distant possibility at best. All that said, we endorse Gloomy Companion unreservedly. We don't resort to apps very o...

Constant vigilance is the price of audio quality, and we apologize for how badly that struggle has been going of late. Walker prostrates himself before the altar of Bars, and Bars we achieve, but the nature of those Bars have been fickle. Their shape and pattern cannot be properly contained or channeled, and thus they spurn us and assault your ears. Rest assured that we are consulting the augurs a...

Peer influence is a strange thing. For years Mark has been yelling at Walker about various ways he really ought to change, but a single board game now has Walker spewing Macross lore like he's a convert. Perhaps the authors like Erin Lee Escobedo have a point, and board games really can serve to deliver subtle yet powerful influence. Perhaps we could make board games to convince people to like and...

Another round about the sun is complete, at least for those who acknowledge that sort of thing. I'm certain there must be a strand of Flat Eartherism that bows to the reality of the Earth's orbit--I could find out, but boardgaming already more than satisfies my desire for obscure minutia. We look back at the releases of the year, agreeing on many things but rather sharply disagreeing on others. Th...

Players aren't the only people who make choices, of course. Designers and publishers make decisions about the setting and the theme of their games. Insofar as games can communicate a message--whether purely aesthetic or more ideological--it is beneficial to have a clear vision. Things can get exceptionally problematic when you start playing fast and loose with things of great cultural and historic...

As a new coping mechanism, Mark and Walker decide to expunge their deepest shameful acts of conspicuous consumption and frivolous travel by talking about it on the internet. Now that Tumblr is is divesting themselves of adult content they can't post their Stephen Universe erotica there, so this is the next best thing. Don't tell Mark and Walker that a) anyone is listening, or b) they've been using...

Lots of talk of economics in this week's news. One might expect a diminishing return on such talk, but as rational consumers of news we often find a deficit of such a valuable commodity. Ceteris paribus, we're willing to offer you the free lunch of our altruism, even though that may lead to a tragedy of the commons. We value your investment of time when you listen to us--our intellectual capital i...

There's this substance that the British people deploy called "salad cream." Chemists, for decades, have tried to break down its constituent parts; but the substance's sheer viscosity--not to mention its disturbing colour and odour--have defied all analysis. I mention this because despite our Canadian prerogative of spelling colour and odour as we do, the cultural rites of salad cream are alien to...

What's in a name? Well, if the game is KeyForge, the name is pretty much the entire game. As we have learned from bots in the past, set an algorithm loose on the internet and it'll probably come back as a racist misogynist troll. So far we've seen little of that scale in KeyForge deck names, but it's spat out some pretty amazing names nonetheless. Games Played Last Week: -Paper Tales 3m24s (Masato...

We are an easily-triggered group, we geeks, we nerds; so allow us to exercize due diligence and offer the following warnings. Spoiler Alert: we discuss what spoilers are. Meta Alert: we get pretty meta about spoilers. Existentialism Alert: Walker gets pretty existential (parenthetical alert: you might have figured Mark would instead, but he has very little time for existentialism, being more moder...

We've always been here. Waiting, in this basement, yelling into the can. When we invented podcasts all those years ago it was merely as avenue for our pre-existing subterranean discourse. Now some of you have joined us, and our labours are no longer in vain. Once the power dies out, we'll still be here, yelling into the can. About boardgames. Games Played Last Week: -Race for the Galaxy: Xeno Inva...

Reading your audience is a hard thing, and not even just when blasting your errant opinions over the interwebs. Mark couldn't read the room when Walker requested a certain game, and that didn't end well. Walker couldn't perceive Mark's growing misgivings about the feature game. This one time I thought a baby boy was a baby girl and the parents were very offended. Life is hard! Games Played Last We...

I hope you're planning your Arkhipov Day festivities. Don't get me wrong, I dig Stanislav Petrov as much as the next guy, but for my money Vasili Arkhipov is the man, and he doesn't get nearly enough credit. Because, you know, he either saved your life or your ancestors' lives--the least we could do is give the man a holiday. He doesn't even have a card in Twilight Struggle! See, I brought it back...

We're always wondering about what comes next, always on the lookout for the next big thing--both in games and broadcasting. That's why we're open to being elevated to the judiciary, so the next time there's a search committee feel free to add Mark and Walker to the ol' shortlist. We're open to traveling, so it doesn't have to be any particular country. We hear The Hague is nice? Games Played Last...

We would like to apologize for the poorer audio quality of this episode. The editor (Mark) would dearly like to attribute it somehow to Walker's illness-induced stupor, but try as he might he can't seem to blame the victim on this one. The microphone has let us all down, dear listeners, and all we can do is vow not to repeat the twin errors--the one being the reduced audio quality, the other in Ma...

Sometimes, dear listeners, the news does matter, and in such instances our hosts feel under-equipped to address them properly. Such is the nature of crippling incompetence. I mean, they could have devoted their time to worthwhile pursuits (like playing games) but instead they shout into a can to strangers (about playing games). But sometimes circumstances demand a brief segue into matters of conse...

Oh, hello there. The door's unlocked--just come on in. Please pardon our informal setting, here, we just want you to be comfortable. I suppose, though, that a tone of complete familiarity shouldn't prevent us from doing introductions. I'm the episode description, and I'm the thing you don't read. Our hosts are Mark Bigney and Mike Walker, and they're the ones you don't respect. Stay with us for a...

Walker, ever truculent, finally succumbs to the inevitable and submits his top ten. Now we can move on, and it is best we do, as there is no shortage of games to be played! Gencon is over and the new releases flow like sweet chocolate milk. Despite this pressure, Mark and Walker find the time to indulge in old classics of yesteryear, and not just the "classics" from "back in the day" of "2012".Gam...

We are but slaves to your whims here at SVWAG, and when our massed masters demand that we dance for their amusement, we must perforce oblige. We resisted for a time, but clearly that was folly. The people have spoken, and their demands will be met: we will descend to the realm of clickbait and listicles and present to your our top 10 games. Walker remains dubious of the enterprise, but Mark is con...

Since the dawn of time, predating recorded history, there has been the genius of Reiner Knizia. The Code of Hammurabi taught its readers how to play Tigris & Euphrates. Enkidu had his own custom set fashioned from the bones of his enemies. Gilgamesh sought immortality merely so he had enough time to git gud. Marduk once accidentally flooded the world in enthusiasm over a blue external conflict. It...

This episode enters the Fire Swamp, the reputed lair of the R.O.U.S.--the Rodents of Unusual Size. Mark doesn't think they exist. We go in-depth into Thunderstone Quest, a long-serving deckbuilder that is a loyal as a farm boy. Walker announces that take-that cards killed his father, and they should prepare to die. I guess Andre the Giant shows up...? Games Played Last Week:-Gaslands 3m46s (Glenn...