Slaughterhouse Princess

It's that time again where we take a trip to Dismember The Alamo to see what four movies they have in store and let you know what we think.

It's another Melissa McCarthy movie this week in the sense that she is in it for about 2 minutes.  That counts, right?

Welcome to Melissa McCarthy weeks, as voted on by our Patrons.  We start with a spy thriller/comedy about spies.  Seems like you could've figured that out without us saying anything.

We managed to convince Matt of Horrorshow Hot Dog fame to stop by this week with another Tubi certified classic.

Why are mermaids always people on top and fish on the bottom instead of the other way around?  Seems like a missed opportunity for a horror movie based on them.

We're a bit mixed on this weeks film.  Place your bets now on which one of us feels what way about this movie by shouting into the night sky.  We'll hear you, don't worry.

This one is somehow exactly what you'd think it is and not at all what you'd think it is at the same time.  A real Schrodinger's movie.

One is neat, one is a slob. Both are divorced and need a place to stay. That's how fussy photographer Willis Davidge and sloppy sportswriter Jeriba Shigan end up sharing a New York City apartment. Sorry, that's actually the Odd Couple but close enough. 

Quick question, which would you rather have in your 1970's Italian Giallo apartment Saloon doors to the kitchen or monkey bars in the hallway?

To paraphrase Mr. Samuel L Jackson: We've had it with these monkey-fighting zombies on this Monday-to-Friday train

This proves our long standing theory that nothing good happens when you start off the night with a hayride.

Like laser tag but there isn't enough dead high school friends for your liking?  Well, fear not as we have found the game for you.

With a name that translates to Lesbian Bear Storm, how could we refuse our special guest Mr. LeBlanc when this was his pick for the week.

We welcome our special guest host Mr. Green with the following advice: If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything, because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine.

We've got ghosts, we've got dead kids, we've got nuns, we've got cameras, we've got photos you can kiss to become cursed that only works on girls.  All this and a subplot that feel like it's from a different movie.

We close out AniMay with the triple threat of giant robot, samurai, and isekai.  Special bonus points for what might be the first catgirl we've featured.

It's the classic act like my boyfriend to please my dying grandma story crossed with our crippling reliance on the internet for everything.  Also really liking your family, I mean REALLY liking your family.

El Hazard proves that isekai has always been with us, even if we didn't know it yet.

We kick off Ani-May in classic SHP style, a week late and a man down.  That won't stop us from trying to figure out what Fooly Cooly means though.

Saltburn is the story of how far some people will go to finally own their own home for the expressed purpose of dancing naked in it.  At least we think that was the point.

It's time for an adventure on the high seas as we take a look at what delysid d on Rotten Tomatoes says is a real classic of its particular type of movie.  Well said delysid d, well said.

We're classing it up this week with a Criterion collection selection.   It didn't help that much.

Not to be confused with the Green Day song of the same name, recorded live at SHP-Con featuring a special guest host.

We take a look at Full Moon Pictures classic film Puppet Master, insert your own Metallica joke here. 

A story that only the visionary director of Krampus Origins had the vision, passion, and disposable cash on hand to bring to life.