Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...   Whether it's developmentally realistic to expect a baby and a toddler to "work together" during play. If separating siblings in certain moments is helpful parenting… or something we're supposed to avoid. The concept of "territory" in child development and why young children often...

Dr. Audrey van der Meer, developmental neuroscientist and Professor of Neuropsychology at NTNU, joins me to talk about what's happening inside our children's brains when they write by hand versus type on a keyboard and what the shift toward fully digital classrooms may be costing their learning, memory, and focus.   Together we explore:   What gross motor development is and why its sequential natu...

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   Why cleanup time can be surprisingly hard for young children. What's really happening in your toddler's brain and body when they are resisting transitions. Is repeating yourself over and over again a normal part of parenting young kids? And how do you know when it's part of the learnin...

Dr. Jett Stone, clinical psychologist and author of Quiet Your Mind: A Men's Guide , joins me to talk about paternal mental health and the invisible emotional load modern fathers are carrying, many without language, models, or permission to talk about it.   Together we explore:   Why millennial dads often feel like they're parenting without a blueprint. How intergenerational patterns and "boyhood...

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   Whether letting your anxious child sleep in your bed reinforces anxiety or supports emotional security. The difference between attachment needs and anxiety accommodations. Why distress tolerance and secure attachment are not competing goals. How SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious...

Michaeleen Doucleff, science journalist and author of Dopamine Kids , joins me to talk about what's really happening in our children's brains when it comes to screens, social media, and ultra-processed foods and why so many kids (and adults) feel stuck in cycles of constant wanting without real satisfaction.   Together we explore:   What dopamine actually does in the brain and why it's not simply...

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   What "kindergarten readiness" actually means (and what it doesn't). Dr. Upshur and Dr. Bren share their personal experiences - with one choosing to send her child to kindergarten and the other deciding to hold her son back - and why. The pros and cons of redshirting, and whether being...

Devon Kuntzman, toddler expert and author of Transforming Toddlerhood , joins me to explain why the toddler years feel so intense and how understanding development can change everything.   Together we explore:   How toddlerhood is defined by contradictory needs for independence and attachment and why this creates so much emotional volatility. How rapid cognitive, motor, and language development ca...

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   - Whether it's okay to have different rules for different kids under the same roof in a blended family. - How developmental differences and co-parenting agreements can shape household expectations. - What to do when step-siblings notice (and protest) differences in discipline. - How t...

Imran Ahmed, founder and CEO of the Center for Countering Digital Hate, joins me to talk about how social media platforms, algorithms, and AI systems are designed and what that means for our children's mental health and safety.   Together we explore:   How social media algorithms are built to maximize attention, and why emotionally extreme content is often amplified. What research reveals about ho...

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...   First things first, why are schools still sending out candy grams in this current climate with a loneliness epidemic on the rise?  Cliques and posses that form in middle school are often rife with envy, jealousy, gossip, and temptation - how to help our kids navigate this.  What...

Dr. Nancy O'Hara, pediatrician and leading expert in PANS and PANDAS, joins me to unpack why some children experience sudden, dramatic changes in behavior, anxiety, OCD, tics, sleep, or emotional regulation following illness. For many families, these symptoms appear almost overnight and are often misdiagnosed as "just anxiety," behavioral issues, or psychiatric disorders, leaving parents confused,...

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   The subtle but important difference between encouraging empathy and unintentionally parentifying a child. What reflective functioning is and why helping your child develop this skill may be one of the most important things you can do as a parent. What helps empathy develop naturally i...

Eli Weinstein, couples therapist and author of the upcoming book From I Do to We Do: Navigating Marriage in Parenting Years , joins me to talk about what really happens to a relationship after kids.   Together we explore:   - Why parenthood doesn't just add stress, it reactivates attachment patterns and old wounds in both partners. - What's really happening when you keep having the same fight on r...

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   - Why so many parents start questioning their instincts around holding and comforting as their baby becomes a toddler. - How to tell when your child truly needs comfort versus when they may be ready for a small, supportive stretch. - What increased clinginess may be communicating and h...

Rebecca Geshuri, therapist and co-author of the new book When Good Moms Feel Bad joins me to talk about why so many "good moms" still feel overwhelmed, reactive, or stuck in cycles of guilt, anger, and self-criticism.   Together we explore:   - Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS) Rebecca breaks down what "parts work" is and how understanding your inner parts can reduce reactivity and shame....

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   - What body doubling actually is and why your child may focus better simply because someone is nearby. - Why getting started on tasks (homework, getting dressed, chores) is often harder than the task itself for kids with ADHD. - How to be intentional about helping reduce procrastinati...

Dr. W. Thomas Boyce, author of The Orchid and the Dandelion , joins me to talk about why some children are biologically more sensitive to their environments and how that sensitivity can become either a challenge or a powerful strength.   Together we explore: - What it means to have either an orchid or a dandelion child and why this exists on a spectrum rather than as a strict either-or. - Why sens...

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   - How to understand what is really happening when a young child becomes intensely frustrated or self critical. - Why perfectionistic behaviors in early childhood are often developmentally normal and when they may begin to impact confidence or emotional well being. - What to do in the m...

Somatic practitioner and founder of Circle of Nurture, Lisa Rombach, joins me for a deeply grounding conversation about motherhood, the nervous system, and why mothers need support just as much as the children they care for.   Together, we explore:   - What somatic work actually is, in everyday language, and why it's not as abstract as it may sound. - How motherhood changes our relationship with o...

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   - Whether lying is a normal part of child development or a sign of a deeper issue. - What kids are actually trying to solve when they lie and how understanding that can change the way we respond as parents. - How lying can function as a stress response, similar...

Independent play expert Lizzie Assa is back on Securely Attached to talk about how play is one of the most powerful ways children can build confidence, creativity, frustration tolerance, and resilience (while parents get a little breathing room back too.)   Together we explore:   - What independent play actually looks like for kids of all ages and what is realistic at each stage. - Why independent...

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   - Why some children are more sensitive to teasing, how temperament plays a role, and why those kids are often more likely to be targeted by peers. - How all three hosts, as therapists and parents of sensitive boys, handle teasing and social stress with their ow...

Author of Indistractable, Nir Eyal, is here to reshape the way we think about attention, willpower, and the forces that pull our minds in a thousand different directions.   Together we explore:   - The surprising science showing that internal triggers (not technology) drive most of our daily distractions. - How stress, boredom, overwhelm, and discomfort quietly shape our habits (and our kids'). -...

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   - Why toddlers often get intensely attached to a single outfit and why this kind of rigidity is usually a totally normal part of development. - How to understand the difference between a sensory preference, a sensory processing challenge, and everyday toddler s...