Rethinking Communication

Our society spends an awful lot of time and energy trying to categorize and label people.   From your political affiliation to your religion to your generation to your level of schooling, each "box" comes with it expectations of who and what you are, and as a result, a prediction of how successful you'll be in your chosen pursuits.   My guest in this episode is Vikram Mansharamani, author of the b...

How can you make your disagreements more meaningful?   Too often, when conflict arises, there's an understanding that a disagreement is present, but rarely do we take the time to truly understand why the disagreement is there in the first place.   This happens everywhere — at work, within family dynamics, with friends and significant others, in the political and social sphere. If you look closely,...

This conversation is perhaps the most profound exploration I've ever done on the power of asking questions to understand the meaning behind words.   Robin Reames is an Associate Professor of English at the University of Illinois Chicago and the author of the book, "The Ancient Art of Thinking for Yourself: The Power of Rhetoric in Polarized Times."   As Robin points out in this conversation, over...

Welcome to Rethinking Communication!   Over the past four years, I've uncovered some aspects of communication that have largely gone untaught in our traditional educational settings.   So, I'm pivoting this podcast to focus on how we can bridge these gaps in our collective communication skill set.   In this first episode under the new banner, I introduce you to six things school didn't teach you a...

My guest in this episode is Patrick Williams, a public speaker, writer, artist, independent scholar, and educator. Patrick is the founder and CEO of Satori Innovation and the Creative Director of The Satori Institute, an arts, education, and research non-profit.   For more than four decades, Patrick has developed what he calls the Philosophy of Creativity, which is an approach to education and cre...

This is an interview I did with David Bryan on his Curiosity Invited podcast. In this conversation, David and I get into the deeper reasons why I started this exploration of change, common ground, and curiosity.   To order a copy of my book, go to https://michaelashford.com/caniaskaquestion to get signed copy or order it on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Can-Ask-Question-Following-communication/...

In episode 99 of this show, Manu Meel offered up my favorite definition of empathy when he said it was the act of "making someone feel like they belong in that space with you."   Then, in episode 110, I explored the topic of listening and how to do it better with several guests, and we uncovered that asking questions was critical to true, real listening.   My guest in this episode takes both of th...

What do you think you might learn about communication if you held thousands of conversations with strangers over the course of a decade?   Well, you don't have to wonder. My guest in this episode can tell you.   Back in 2015, while working as a sales rep tasked with cold-calling people who didn't want to talk to him, Rob Lawless started a side project to see if he could have conversations with com...

If you were to track how many times per day someone tried to convince you to change in some way, chances are you'd fill up pages worth of tally marks.   We often get sucked into thinking that the way to change people's minds to get them to do what we want them to do is to present them with enough evidence, data, and proof that our way is the "right" way.   But deep down, you know that's not how it...

This episode is taken from my recent appearance on Kwame Christian's "Negotiate Anything" podcast. In this discussion, Kwame and I take a deep dive into my book, "Can I Ask A Question?" and explore how the book came to be and the lessons about communication and change that I learned along the way.   To order a signed copy of my book, go to https://michaelashford.com/caniaskaquestion   To order Can...

My guest in this episode is Steve Leskovek, a retired nurse who has created a resource to teach teens and young adults valuable life skills that Steve realized were not being taught in schools.   The word resource might be underselling it a bit — Steve created an entire curriculum, complete with video tutorials and study guides for everything from financial literacy to basic home care to employmen...

If you're anything like me, you've noticed over the past decade or so the emergence — or at least the increased use of — the word neurodivergent.   And if you're anything like me, you heard the term and made some assumptions about what it meant, what and who it described, and why it started showing up in more places and in more conversations…perhaps without really understanding or knowing much of...

One of the ways us humans feel the most vulnerable and least empowered is when others have authority and control over us.   Take away a person's sense of autonomy and I'll show you a person who is unsure of themselves, angry, and without peace.   When you voluntarily give away power and control over your thoughts and actions, psychologist Amy Morin says this chips away at your mental strength and...

The phrase "Everyone has an opinion about everything these days," is often thrown out like it's a bad thing.   But, you're a human being. Of course you have opinions.   The bigger issue, in my humble, ahem, opinion, is that you are exposed to more peoples' opinions and feedback and ideas than ever before.   You're bombarded seemingly from all directions constantly.   The feedback loop all too ofte...

What in the world do witchcraft panics and witch trials have to do with communication?   I assure you, after hearing this episode, there will be little doubt of the linkage.   My guest is Steije Hofhuis, a Dutch university lecturer and historian and an expert on the early modern witchcraft panics that swept across Europe in the 15th, 16th, and 17th centuries, not unlike those that occurred in Sale...

You know the old saying "Never judge a book by its cover?"   I'll admit, this week's guest put me to the test.   Gary John Bishop is what he calls an "urban philosopher" and a New York Times bestselling author of titles such as Stop Doing That Sh*t, Wise and F*ck, Love Unf*cked, and his most well-known work, Unf*ck Yourself.   Gary's got a new book out called "Grow Up: Becoming the Parent Your Kid...

We live in a world where the individual is celebrated and held up as the first and last option, and reliance on others is shamed and degraded in many ways.   Yet, it goes against who we are and who we are made to be.   We're tribal.   We work best in small groups, sharing resources and working together to solve problems.   But what happens when this tribe drive goes haywire?   David Samson believe...

I am thrilled to welcome John Noltner back to the show for another conversation on what it means to intentionally seek out and create peace.   After John and I first connected in the fall of 2021 for episode 62, John and his wife sold their home, moved into a van, and set out on the road interviewing people from all walks of life to uncover their stories — the stories that reveal the common ground...

I've mentioned many times that I am a lifelong Christian, and perhaps when you heard that you made some assumptions about me — about what I believe, about what I am not only for, but what I am against, about how I see the world and those living in it.   And know that I'm not judging you for that. That's a human thing to do.   But the conversation you're about to hear might challenge a lot of those...

Much of our language these days carries with it an unspoken message — an undertone of an individualistic, self-serving, perhaps even entitled mindset about not just our actions, but our beliefs and opinions.   But what of our responsibilities to others? Do those even exist? Or, what of our responsibilities to question ourselves? Is that a thing?   In this episode, I welcome back Andy Norman. Andy...

In this episode, I welcome Josh Lewis, the host of Saving Elephants, a podcast and blog espousing the goodness and benefits of the conservative tradition in the United States.   Josh believes bad actors have hijacked conservatism, and if true conservatism is to survive — where the wisdom of the past is applied to the challenges of the present — then it will be up to Millennials to recapture its tr...

What happens if we never shed our child ego as we graduate into adulthood? How might someone show up in the world if they never emotionally mature past the child ego state, especially when conflict is present?   Dr. Reneé Carr is a psychologist and an advisor to political leaders at the state and national levels. Reneé's gift is the ability to apply her background and understanding of psychology t...

In this solo episode, I give you a behind-the-scenes look at what went into my new book, Can I Ask A Question?   I reveal the themes and principles that inspired the book, which includes my ASK then SEE method of communicating through conflict.   My book is available for preorder at https://michaelashford.com/caniaskaquestion until Sept. 20, 2023. The book will be publicly available in mid-October...

What is active listening, and how does it make someone a good listener?   These days, the answers to those questions are complicated, mostly because we've lost sight of the goal of listening.   In this solo episode, I tackle how active listening has been warped into something it was never intended to be, and how we can refocus ourselves on the true definition of listening.   Preorder my book, Can...

If I were to ask, "Do you know someone addicted to drama?" there's a good chance someone's name and face immediately popped into your mind.   In the immortal words of those epic modern day poets, The Black Eyed Peas: "I think the whole world's addicted to the drama; Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma."   As it turns out, the Peas weren't too far off.   My guest in this episode is Dr...