Resiliently Rising Podcast

In this episode, Carrie sits down with relationship coach Drew Daniels to explore the anxious… avoidant dynamic and what’s really happening beneath avoidant behaviors. Drew shares his personal journey of recognizing his own fearful-avoidant patterns in marriage and the transformation that led him to help other couples understand and heal these cycles. Together, they unpack the fears, shame, a...

In this episode, Carrie and David explore what actually makes an apology meaningful after betrayal. While many couples believe that saying “I’m sorry” should be enough, they unpack why apologies often fall short and why some even deepen the hurt. Using the framework of the Five A’s of an Apology,  they walk through what true repair requires and why rebuilding trust is a process, not a moment....

In this Revisited episode , we bring back one of our earlier conversations by combining Episode 5 Part 1 and Part 2 into a single episode. Carrie and David walk through the most common mistakes couples make when trying to rebuild a relationship after betrayal. Drawing from both their personal journey and professional experience, they share why real repair takes time, honesty, accountability, and s...

In this Somatic Safety Session, Carrie guides listeners through a gentle practice designed to help release stored tension in the body after betrayal trauma. She explains how trauma often leaves protective patterns of tightness in places like the jaw, shoulders, breath, and belly, and introduces slow micro-movements and vagus nerve support as simple ways to help the body unwind. Through a guided te...

 Why do we sometimes keep choosing partners who hurt us? In this episode, Carrie and David explore how the nervous system is wired to gravitate toward what feels familiar—even when it isn’t healthy. They unpack how early attachment wounds and the body’s longing for closure can unconsciously pull us back into similar relationship dynamics. Together they explain why this pattern isn’t a charact...

In this episode, Carrie sits down with former client for a powerful conversation about healing after betrayal trauma and leaving an abusive relationship.  Together, they explore why healing often gets harder before it gets easier, how the nervous system protects through dissociation, minimizing, and intellectualizing, and why slowing down… rather than forcing progress… is essential for real c...

 In this episode, Carrie and David unpack why rumination is so common after betrayal… for both the betrayed and the betrayer. They explain how looping thoughts aren’t a sign you’re broken, but a nervous system trying to restore safety, coherence, and control after your world has been shaken. They explore the “open loop” effect that keeps your brain revisiting unanswered questions, the di...

Episode Summary: In this month’s Somatic Safety Session, we focus on grounding… especially for moments when your system feels scattered, overwhelmed, or disconnected from your body. Betrayal trauma can pull you up and out of the present moment, leaving you feeling floaty, buzzy, or unanchored. In this gentle, trauma-informed practice, Carrie offers simple education about why this happens in the ne...

In this What You’re Wondering episode of the Resiliently Rising Podcast , we respond to a listener asking how to survive the “messy middle” of betrayal recovery… when both partners are healing, but neither is fully there yet. We talk honestly about why this phase feels so destabilizing… and why it’s often where the deepest change actually begins. We unpack what real self-care looks like during thi...

In this episode of the Resiliently Rising Podcast, Carrie Holladay talks with Tammy Gustafson, LPC - trauma-informed therapist, founder of Betrayal Healing / Live Free Counseling, host of the Betrayal Healing Conference, and author of Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing After Intimate Betrayal. Tammy shares her personal betrayal story and what she’s learned from years of helping b...

In this episode, Carrie and David talk about why silence after betrayal doesn’t feel neutral…it feels like being left alone in the wreckage. They explore what’s happening in the nervous system for both the betrayed partner and the betrayer, why avoidance can come from fear and shame, and how “not wanting to make it worse” can actually deepen the disconnect. You’ll hear what helps instead…how to in...

Episode Summary: Somatic Safety Session:  Come Back Into Your Body | Orienting + Felt Sense Betrayal trauma can pull you out of your body and into survival mode — hypervigilance, overthinking, numbness, or overwhelm. This gentle, trauma-informed somatic practice is designed to help you slowly and safely come back into the present moment. ✨ In this practice, you’ll experience: • Gentle educat...

In this first What You’re Wondering episode, Carrie and David respond to a listener’s question about what happens when there’s a slip or relapse during betrayal healing. They explore why healing isn’t linear, how any return to secrecy or unsafe behavior impacts the nervous system of the betrayed partner, and why arguing over labels matters far less than addressing impact and restoring safety. From...

In this episode, Carrie sits down with licensed clinical nutritionist Devon Ragan to explore what really happens in your gut, hormones, and nervous system when you’ve lived through chronic stress and trauma. Devon shares her own story of burnout and loss, the link between trauma, IBS, autoimmune issues, and “mystery” symptoms, and why so many women are dismissed or misdiagnosed even when their bod...

Episode Summary: In this episode, Carrie and David unpack why so many communication breakdowns aren’t actually about saying the wrong thing… they’re about what’s happening in the nervous system. They explain what happens in the brain and body during conflict, why survival responses like fight, flight, shutdown, and fawn take over, and how betrayal trauma adds another layer of sensitivity and fear...

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why can’t I calm down? Why can’t I feel safe? Why does my body feel like it’s always bracing?” — this episode will finally give you the answers your nervous system has been trying to tell you. Carrie and David break down the three core things every nervous system needs to feel grounded… and how betrayal shatters each one. You’ll learn why your brain won’t stop spinning, w...

In this episode, Carrie sits down with Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute. Together, they explore why betrayal is unlike any other trauma—and what it really takes to move from shock and survival into genuine healing, self-love, and transformation. Debi shares how her own betrayals led to the discovery of the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, an evidence...

In this episode, Carrie and David dive into what it really means for the body to feel safe after betrayal — and why that sense of safety can’t be forced, faked, or found through willpower alone. Through a powerful metaphor, they explore the unseen ways you subconsciously experience safety or danger. They share honest stories from their own healing, moments of tension and tenderness, and insig...

In this episode, we break down denial and betrayal blindness, two common responses in betrayal trauma that can make it hard to recognize what’s happening even when the signs are there. We explore how the nervous system chooses protection and attachment over awareness, and why both the betrayed partner and the partner acting out can struggle to see the truth clearly. We talk about the role of gasli...

Carrie talks with trauma and addiction psychotherapist Jan Winhall , author of Treating Trauma and Addiction with the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model. They explore how trauma lives in the body, why self-destructive behaviors are survival responses, and how safety—not shame—is the key to healing. Together, they discuss betrayal as a root wound, rebuilding safety in relationships, and how reconnecting wi...

In this episode, we unpack what to do when one partner seems “all in” on healing after betrayal and the other looks hesitant. We explore some of the reasons for this mismatch, and you’ll learn three practical moves to navigate it. Note: this conversation is for couples where both partners genuinely want to rebuild; chronic dismissiveness or defensiveness needs a different approach.   Connect...

In this episode of Resiliently Rising , Carrie and David walk through the Gottman Institute’s three-phase Revival Method for healing a relationship after betrayal—Atone, Attune, and Attach. They share how each phase rebuilds trust, emotional connection, and intimacy, weaving in their own lived experience to make the roadmap feel practical and hopeful. Carrie also introduces her new course, Rebuild...

Noticing someone’s attractiveness isn’t betrayal—it’s human biology. In this episode, we unpack the difference between a neutral glance and lingering/objectifying, why the betrayed partner’s nervous system can go on high alert, and how couples can co-regulate in the moment. We share simple tools that rebuild safety through consistent “trust bank” deposits. Hopeful, practical, and research-informed...

Episode Summary: In this episode of the Resiliently Rising Podcast , Carrie and David dive into a raw listener question: Can a marriage be repaired without forgiveness or trust returning? Together, they explore the difference between patching a relationship and truly rebuilding, the toll of living in a guarded nervous system state, and why “staying for the kids” may not provide the safety parents...

In this episode of The Resiliently Rising Podcast , Carrie and David unpack the phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater” and explore why it feels protective—but can actually keep both partners stuck. They share personal insight, the neuroscience behind real change, and a more helpful reframe: “An unhealed cheater will remain an unhealed cheater.” Whether you’ve been betrayed or are working to reb...