Prime Cuts

As we approach the end of Earthspark lots of things are happening. Secrets are revealed, stakes are raised, and family bonds are tested, and new threats with absolutely awful names emerge. Ghoid. What is a Ghoid? Why are they called Ghoids? Are you into Ghoiding? Would you like to see my Ghoidcave? Wasn't it cool when the Ghoids Ghoided all over that guy? You up for getting Ghoided bro? Ghoid Ghoi...

Before you ask, no we DON'T know exactly what happened at the end of 'Prime Time'. We aren't entirely sure how much of that was real and how much of that wasn't, but one thing is for sure; Mandroid got his ass beat by a nine year old girl. Also we get to learn what its like when Starscream is nice, see how many seekers we can wrap up in gooey tentacles, be once again impressed by Hashtag's largene...

You guys have been requesting this one for like almost two years at this point so it's time that we finally got around to this campy murderdoll in our nonlinear exploration of robots in film. M3gan is a clever and funny little horror movie which takes full advantage of its premise, as well as the talents of its lead performers. The prosthetics, voice work, and physical acting of the titular toy co...

This week Optimus Prime reaches new heights of child endangerment, Jawbreaker learns that sometimes it feels good to go apeshit, and KEITH DAVID appears?! Sounds crazy, right? Well forget all that shit, the REAL important thing is that they included a genus of Dinosaur that's likely been invalidated, AND put its fossils in the wrong area!!!! Man, I hope somebody got FIRED for that blunder!! Noise...

Ahhh, Da Big City. No tellin' what you'll experience if you spend a night there. Maybe you'll have a wonderful bonding experience with another queer person. Maybe you will experience a micro-agression. Maybe you will have to give your mentor a Stone Cold Stunner while a bird with a Southern accent mocks you, and then fight a dinosaur. One things for sure though, your physically imposing older sibl...

Technically this podcast covers two more episodes of Transformers Earthspark, "Bear Necessities" and "Warzone". We make lots of jokes about Annihilation (2018 film), speculate about why GHOST seems to be purposefully tainting wildlife with industrial waste, discuss Sexy Shockwave, and celebrate the return of Steve Blum as Starscream. Then about halfway through we stumbled upon...

Oh boy, here we go again. Tarantulus is back. I bet he's gonna be weird and gross and offputting and...oh? What's that? He's kind and complicated and genuinely concerned for Nightshade? Well, I guess anything can happen in Earthspark. Well, I'm sure Bumblebee has no deeper reason to risk breaking his cover just to do some silly races. Oh? He's trying to find his long lost friend from before the wa...

Last time on Earthspark three new babies joined the cast. Now it's time to figure out whats up with them! One of them loves movies and the internet, one of them is a nice boy with severe anxiety, and one of them is impossibly good at advanced engineering projects. We also get more clues about GHOST being completely FINE and NORMAL, Nightshade meets a cow, Hashtag makes a movie, and Jawbreaker talk...

OKAY, EARTHSPARK!! These two episodes are absolutely packed with incredible stuff, too much to fit into a measly description, so instead I will give you a list of out of context phrases which relate to some cool shit that happens in this episode; Fusion Cannon Piledriver, Goth Baddie Skywarp, Megatron Energy Shibari, Quintus Prime, Three New Guys, Toxic Plane Yuri, Mandroid Boss Fight, and AMAZING...

Earthspark continues to provide us with all time great incarnations of classic characters. Rowdy Southern Arcee? Yes please! Frenzy with blue hair and pronouns? Sign us up! Soundwave disillusioned and betrayed by Megatron's turn? Wowee!! And the kids go to SCHOOL?!?!?!? ...well okay that one isn't actually all that exciting. But they DO basically watch their adopted robot siblings die, so, you kno...

What if you were like 2 weeks old or whatever and inadvertently scanned an Autobot scientist's drone as your alternate mode, and then you meet him in the woods while you're looking for a monster from Filipino folklore? What if you and your sister got into a fight so bad you accidentally stumble into a secret government blacksite and almost get murdered by a former war criminal's training program?...

We learned a lot this week on Transformers Earthspark; baby cows are really cute, never take teaching advice from Megatron, Witwicky Pennsylvania has some robust rail infrastructure that is used entirely by shady secret organizations, rules are important, the chore chart is VERY important, never trust a guy named Swindle (we've heard this one before), and professional wrestling inspires bad behavi...

New year, new show, same us. In a first for the podcast, we're covering a show that neither of the hosts have seen, Earthspark! We talk about the extremely strong first showing for this series with 'Secret Legacy'. Some great casting choices, cool designs, a fascinating setup for our characters, and the most engaging human cast we've ever had means we're pretty high on Earthspark so far. Also, dam...

Animated Season 2 left us with a lot of questions. If Sari is a techno-organic hybrid, how come she caught a cold that one time? Why did the Constructicons not ever get a toy? How come Ratchet fucked up that bad? Why does Nero have such an atrocious Ronald Reagan impression? Will Hasbro ever answer for cancelling Animated Season 4? Is Slo-Mo single? At least some of these questions will be answere...

Well, we've reached the end of TFA Season 2. Lots happens this week. Starscream flirts with his externalized girlboss aspect, Sari remakes Home Alone (complete with Joe Pesci), Ratchet reunites with his ex-boyfriend (a sentient weapon of mass destruction), Bulkhead's engineering skills are finally recognized, and shocking revelations about Sari's origin are teased in literally the last 30 seconds...

ATTEN-SHUN! THIS WEEK WE ARE TALKING ABOUT EPISODES NINE AND TEN OF TRANSFORMERS ANIMATED SEASON TWO! THEY ARE CALLED 'AUTOBOOT CAMP' AND 'BLACK FRIDAY'! THE FOLLOWING EVENTS WILL BE DESCRIBED IN DETAIL BY YOUR HOSTS; BUMBLEBEE AND BULKHEAD MEET IN BOOT CAMP, BUMBLEBEE ACCIDENTALLY TORTURES SENTINEL PRIME, BUMBLEBEE GETS HIS LEGS RIPPED OFF, BUMBLEBEE IS TRICKED INTO FRAMING AN INNOCENT BOT FOR SP...

As we hit the middle of Animated's second season we begin to get some pretty mid episodes, even if one of them has strangely good animation for no reason. However, that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of things to talk about. This week, Prowl gets caught up in a silly drug metaphor (where the representation of drugs is corpse bits that give you superpowers) while hunting down Starscream with Lock...

BADA BING BADA BOOM we're back in the Mix(master) with Transformers Animated, and it's time to meet some more new guys! Bumblebee gets into a rivalry with a cool blue street racer who surely will not turn out to be a named character any time in the future. Then Bulkhead meets some real blue collar guys who were quite literally born yesterday. Will he be able to guide his rough around the edges pal...

It's finally here. After alluding to the best montage of all time many times in our past episodes, we've finally arrived at Starscream getting murdered over and over again for 45 seconds. Oh, but don't worry, he's fine. He can't die anymore, and he intends to make this everyone else's problem. Also in this episode, Weird Al has a double meta guest spot, Sentinel and Magnus attempt to make Optimus...

Listeners we are so fucking back...in Detroit, to be specific. We're starting our journey through TFA season 2, and already some nutso shit has happened. Sari Sumdac is (briefly) the world's youngest CEO, the AutoCops have stopped by to investigate all these claims about Decepticons and Allsparks and whatnot, the Headmaster has returned to torment the Autobots (and the Audience), and Professor Sum...

We finished our sprint through Cyberverse's first season, and we have a lot of thoughts about it. Mostly our thoughts are that Bumblebee is kind of annoying, Shadowstriker is cool as fuck, and this show is chronically incorrect about Dinosaurs. We also construct the setting for our dream show, give out our end of season awards, and Nero announces their pick for our next season. Noise Space | Disco...

`You know they say that all bots are created equal, but you look at me Grimlock and you look at Shockwave and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you go one on one with another Cybertronian, you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I'm a genetic freak and I'm not normal! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at beat me. Then you add The Seekers to the mix, your chances of winning drastic g...

This week the plot continues to move! Bumblebee gets some motivational flashbacks from the annoying orb he rescued last week, Slipstream roots through Windblade's memories and gets berated by her bosses over Zoom in two very different ways, and the gang black out an entire city to restart Grimlock's heart. We also get to hear some of Cyberverse's.... interesting ideas about dinosaurs. Noise Space...

As Windblade and Bumblebee get closer to locating the lost Ark, the Decepticons are closing in. In remembering an old bar, the duo get a cryptic clue from the past which hews shockingly close to their current situation. Shockwave launches a dastardly plan to gaslight Bumblebee into thinking that HE was imposter all along while Windblade and Slipstream have more encounters. Finally an annoying orb...

This week we're joined by the other half of Naruto podcast Konoha Crush, Soliloquy, for more trips down Bumblebee's memory lane. We learn all about CUBE, Cybertron's premier sport, and how Bee met Windblade. Then we're treated to a bit of Bumblebee and Hot Rod's vacation on Velocitron, which ends in just about the worst way a vacation can end. Finally, we're properly introduced to Shadowstriker, w...