Praxis Podcast with Rhett Smith

In this episode I get to sit down with a colleague of mine who I have been getting to know more over the last couple of years in our collaborative work together around Restoration Therapy and ministry leaders.   Robert Scholz is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, consultant and writer, who specializes in helping individuals and families who are struggling with addictions.   I am so glad to...

In this episode I spend some time in conversation with Terry and Sharon Hargrave. Terry is the founder of Restoration Therapy and is the Evelyn and Frank Freed Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy at Fuller Theological Seminary and Sharon is the Executive Director of the Boone Center for the Family at Pepperdine University , as well as the founder and director of Relate Strong .   I have known...

  "for dust you are and to dust you will return." (Genesis 3:19) In this episode I reflect on the passage found in Genesis 3:19 that is repeated every Ash Wednesday.   It's a beautiful, but harrowing passage that reminds us of just how fragile and short our lives are.   But this reminder, rather than being tragic, is to help us focus on our life on what is important.   We were created from the ver...

  And he said, "Hagar, slave-girl, of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?" Genesis 16:8 Where have you come from? Where are you going? Perhaps these are two of the most important and fundamental questions we can ask ourselves. I appreciate that Jay Stringer brings to these questions in his phenomenal book, Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing . It wasn't...

This episode is somewhat of a continuation of Episode 115 where I reflected both theologically and psychologically on the biblical text found in Genesis 1-3 (and a little of 4). Those opening chapters have lots of insight and implications for us relationally. In this episode I want to pick up on some of those themes, especially the idea of self-differentiation, and focus on how Restoration Therapy...

I had the opportunity this last Monday to record a video on anxiety with another therapist, and one of the pastors at Preston Trail Community Church in Frisco. And then a few hours later, I talked to a group of parents at Legacy Christian Academy in Frisco about anxiety and depression. It's obvious that anxiety and depression are prevalent issues affecting our culture today. One only has to read t...

As I mentioned in a previous podcast, I thought I would take some time this year (on occasion) to stop and reflect on my reading of the bible, and how it connects at the intersection of theology and psychology. So in this episode I want to take some time and just reflect on Genesis 1-4 and some insights that may be helpful for you and your relationships. Enjoy the episode. Books Mentioned in this...

It's been about 5 months since my last podcast episode, as I was needing to take a break for a while why I focused on some other goals.   But it's time for a new podcast season, and in this episode I talk about some new topics I am going to explore this season, as well as some new goals that I have been working on, and how I am using a paper journal to help me stay focused and on track. I hope tha...

"Love consists in this, that two solitudes, protect and border and salute each other." -- Rainer Maria Rilke   A couple of weeks ago my wife and I returned from a "marriage adventure" on the Inca Trail in Peru. This adventure (through WinShape and Intrepid), led us for four days and 3 nights hiking along the 33 miles to Machu Picchu. This was an unbelievable experience for my wife and I as we led...

As many of you know from listening to my podcasts, or reading my blog over the years, is I'm pretty obsessed with the novels of Susan Howatch. Particularly her Starbridge Series of which I'm about to finish my 9th reading of the series in the last 15 years. It's that impactful and transforming in my life.   But I talk about one book in particular in this podcast episode ( Absolute Truths by Susan...

  "I'd like to know more, of course, but I've accepted that there's nothing more he has to say; I've accepted that there's a limit on our knowledge of even those who are closest to us. The older one gets the more one realises how saturated life is in mystery, and the biggest mystery of all, it often seems to me, is the mystery of the human personality." -- Lyle Ashworth   Scandalous Risks by Susan...

One of the things that happens at the beginning of every year, or at the start of a major transition, is that you see people setting goals. If you were like me you probably thought about all the goals you wanted to achieve in the New Year, and you might have even taken the time to write them down. But if you are also like me, it's possible that you have declared goals in the past, but never quite...

The new near can bring forth a lot of varying emotions from people. In my experience, a large number of people come into the new year very excited about change and all the potential possibilities that await them. It's often a time to start anew. But there is also a large number of people who come into the new year with a lot of fears about what awaits them, perhaps because the prior year was so ch...

    Often when I'm working with someone in session I try to think of visual and tangible ways that they can remember some of the things that we are processing together. And what I have noticed a lot about relational interactions is that there tends to be this movement that I have found to be helpful for people.   This movement goes something like this: a) Ask for what you need/want/desire; b) But...

      As many of you know, I love to run. And over the last 3-4 years I have been getting more and more into trail running, as well into ultrarunning (which is technically anything over 26.2 miles). And about a month ago I finished my second ever 50K race, and my second race ever at the Palo Duro Trail Run . My first 50K was the Cowtown Ultra , and a year after that I ran my first race in Palo Dur...

      Over the last several years my wife and I have begun a new journey in our life. That journey has involved a couple of elements: 1) Trying to incorporate more adventure into our marriage (i.e. trips, taking on challenges, etc.); 2) Working on ways to partner together in marriage. And last month we took another step closer in combining these two elements when we went away for a few days to Win...

      One of the reasons many couples can't solve conflict in their relationship is because they often get stuck thinking that their argument is really about the topic at hand (i.e. money, sex, parenting, work, inlaws, etc.). And as long as they believe that, then they will stay perpetually stuck. What I've learned in my experience as a therapist is that the problem isn't about the topic, but rath...

      This is a very short podcast episode, but it's a really important one.   One of the most important tasks I have in the counseling room is to help people to discern between what their feelings and coping behaviors are. In fact, I spend a lot of time helping people understand their feelings, and what coping behaviors they often lead to. When a person understands this level of awareness, they a...

I talk a lot about anxiety on this podcast. And sometimes anxiety can seem vague or too theoretical, unless one really has experienced. And even then, just talking about it can seem like an intellectual exercise.   But today I had a personal experience that really makes concrete what I mean when I talk about a good anxiety...the kind that is there in the midst of peace, and just reminds you of the...

I have recently been thinking a lot about the intertwining of vocation and anxiety. What I mean by that is that it seems that part of the journey towards finding vocation is that anxiety is often along for the journey.   In my writing and speaking on anxiety, and in my work with clients, I talk a lot about listening to the voice of anxiety. I believe that anxiety speaks to our life and if we liste...

One of the most prevalent topics that I come across in my counseling and when I'm speaking, is the topic of technology and relationships. Specifically, the technology of the smart phone/iPad/computer...but usually the smart phone. And along with this technology there is typically a conversation around the online tools that are used with it...mostly, social media (i.e. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter,...

Wow! I can't believe I am already at Episode 100. I published my first episode back on March 24, 2015, with the goal of trying to get at least one episode published per week. With that in mind I was hoping to hit 100 episodes right around the two year mark, if not before. But, things don't always go as planned, and two years and five months later we come to 100.   I set out doing this podcast, not...

Sometimes I have thoughts that I have been processing and I just want to explore out loud with others. In this case, the others is you. So in this episode I explore what it looks like to wrestle with taking the next step in your life, and how you discern what the next step is. Though this could be the case for many things, I mainly look at the next step in terms of work, vocation, hobby, etc, rath...

A couple of weeks ago, my colleagues and I at Thriiive Practices did a lecture for the Meadow's lecture series on emotional regulation.   What is emotional regulation? It's essentially one's ability to control or manage their automatic, reactive responses to an emotional trigger, and instead, respond accordingly (and in a healthy manner). That is my definition of sorts, though I say it a lot of di...

I read a lot of books, but I don't consider myself the best book reviewer. Even though I read with pen in hand and underline and take notes throughout my books, I'm not great at writing about the details. But what sticks out to me are those big ideas in a book...the ones that you can't stop thinking about. The ones that cause paradigm shifts within. Those I obsessively think about, and figure out...