On Attachment

REGISTER FOR MY NEW FREE TRAINING Many of us are taught that taking care of the people we love is the ultimate expression of devotion. But when caring crosses the line into caretaking, it can quietly create deep imbalances in our relationships. Caretaking often stems from anxiety, a need for control, or an old belief that love must be earned through over-functioning — anticipating needs, smoothing...

Most relationships move through a phase where things start to feel harder than they used to. The spark has dimmed, tension is bubbling beneath the surface, and it feels like you’re constantly clashing or misfiring. This is what’s often called the power struggle stage — and while it can be incredibly challenging, it’s also a powerful opportunity for growth and deeper intimacy. In today’s episode, w...

When we think about improving our relationships, we’re often focused on what isn’t working — what our partner could do differently, how we’re not getting our needs met, where communication is breaking down. But in this episode, I want to invite a slightly different lens: what does it mean to be a better partner? Not from a place of self-sacrifice or perfectionism, but from a grounded, secure place...

One of the hardest things to face in a relationship is feeling like you're growing and evolving, while your partner seems simply unwilling to meet you there. Maybe you’ve suggested therapy, brought up recurring issues, or shared books and podcasts you love, only to be met with silence, shutdown, or defensiveness. In this episode, we’re exploring what to do when your partner doesn’t seem inter...

In today’s episode, I’m diving into a topic that’s both close to my heart and foundational to how I approach this work: the widespread demonisation of avoidant attachment — and why we need to stop doing it. It’s all too common, especially in online spaces, for people (often those with anxious attachment) to project blame, anger, and sweeping judgments onto those with avoidant attachment styles. Bu...

Healing anxious attachment is a life-changing journey — but it’s not always easy. While moving toward secure attachment can bring more ease, confidence, and healthier relationships, it also requires confronting some uncomfortable truths along the way. In this episode, we’re unpacking five hard truths about healing that will help you set realistic expectations and stay committed to your growth. Wha...

Self-trust is something we all want, but many of us struggle to build it. If you find yourself second-guessing your decisions, over-preparing for worst-case scenarios, or feeling like you can't rely on yourself, you're not alone.  In this episode, we’re unpacking why self-trust is so challenging, especially for those with anxious attachment, and how to shift your focus to build a strong...

It’s painful when you feel like your needs in a relationship aren’t being met. Whether it’s emotional intimacy, quality time, affection, or communication, this can lead to frustration, loneliness, and resentment — especially if you’ve voiced your needs and still don’t see change. In this episode, we’re exploring: Why anxiously attached people so often get stuck around needs What to focus on if you...

Social media can be a minefield at the best of times, but if you have an anxious attachment style, it can amplify relationship anxiety in ways that feel overwhelming. From overanalysing who your partner follows to spiralling over why they haven’t posted about you, social media can fuel insecurity, comparison, and even compulsive checking behaviours. In today’s episode, we’re exploring why social m...

In today's episode, we're talking all about conscious dating and how you can raise your standards and date from a place of grounded self-confidence and self-worth. Many anxiously attached people struggle a lot with dating, experiencing anxiety, insecurity and self-doubt every step of the way. This can naturally block us from connecting with others in a way that feels healthy and authenti...

In today's episode, we explore how perfectionism intersects with anxious attachment and impacts our ability to form secure relationships. We examine how the drive for perfection often stems from attachment wounds around unworthiness and creates barriers to authentic connection. Key themes covered: The links between perfectionism and anxious attachment patterns How perfectionism manifests in r...

Have you ever wondered how to tell the difference between intuition and anxiety? If so, this episode is for you. We're talking all about the difference between intuition and anxiety, and sharing some simple tools to know how best to relate to these states and when to listen to the information our body is giving us. We'll cover: anxious attachment and hyperawareness of shifts in people&ap...

In today's episode, we're talking about how to rebuild self-worth after a break-up. It's so common, particularly for anxious attachers, to emerge after a break-up feeling incredibly uncertain and lacking in self-worth. We become acutely aware of the extent to which we lost ourselves in the relationship, but often don't know where or how to begin reconnecting with who we are. We&#39...

In today's episode, we’re exploring the key signs that you’re moving from anxious attachment toward greater security. While every healing journey is unique, certain themes consistently emerge as markers of growth. If you're working on healing your anxious attachment style, this episode will help you recognise the shifts happening within you. What We Cover: How healing is not linear and w...

For our first episode of 2025, we're exploring the journey of creating a life that feels deeply authentic and aligned with who you truly are. Moving beyond societal expectations and the hamster wheel of constant striving, this episode challenges you to embrace courage, honesty, and personal responsibility to make meaningful changes in your life. Key topics covered: Why honesty with yourself i...

In this Q&A episode, I’m answering your most common questions about early dating—particularly through the lens of anxious attachment. If dating feels like a minefield of overthinking, anxiety, and emotional highs and lows, this episode is for you. We’ll explore: Early dating dynamics: Navigating the vulnerability and uncertainty that comes with getting to know someone new. Not attaching too qu...

In today's episode, we’re diving deep into self-sabotage—those frustrating patterns where we seem to work against our own best interests. Whether it’s procrastination, pushing people away, or avoiding opportunities, self-sabotage can feel like an endless cycle.  We cover: What self-sabotage really is : Understanding how it’s often a misguided attempt to keep us safe. Why we get stuck : Explor...

In this episode of On Attachment , we’re diving into how to support an avoidant partner in opening up emotionally. If you’ve ever felt frustrated by your partner’s emotional distance or found yourself unsure how to help them feel safe in the relationship, this episode is for you. Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up Free T...

In today's episode, we're talking about the delicate balance between compassion for others, and boundaries for ourselves. For those of us who tend towards empathy and curiosity towards others' inner worlds, it's easy to fixate on the "why" behind their behaviours (particularly behaviours we don't like or understand). And while that is an admirable trait, without...

In today's episode, we’re diving into what avoidant partner deactivation looks like and how you can respond to this experience in a way that protects your emotional wellbeing and prevents further spiralling and disconnection.  We’ll explore the subtle ways avoidant partners create distance—whether emotionally, physically, or in their communication—and how these behaviours stem from their atta...

In today's episode, we're talking all about validation — and specifically, why it is so essential for anxiously attached people in building more security within themselves and in their relationships.  Most anxiously attached people are accustomed to feeling chronically invalidated (in part because they tend to do this to themselves), always wondering if they are too much, too needy, too...

In today's episode, we're talking all about the abandonment wound — and specifically, five scenarios that might unexpectedly trigger your fears and insecurities around abandonment. When we think about the fear of abandonment, we often imagine scenarios where someone physically leaves us—maybe a breakup or a loved one walking out the door. But the truth is, this fear can manifest in much...

In this episode, we dive into the growing issue of phone usage and its impact on relationship satisfaction, especially when one partner feels neglected, ignored and frustrated by the other's screen time. We explore why constant phone use can feel so personal, discuss strategies for approaching the topic constructively, and offer practical ways to set digital boundaries together. If you’re str...

In this episode, we're exploring the common and very human experience of hoping an ex will come back after a break-up, saying they've changed their mind and want to reconcile. Whether you were left unexpectedly or the break-up was a long time coming, the hope that an ex will realise their mistake and come back can be powerful and all-consuming. I'll share some mindset reframes and t...

In this episode, we’re diving into how fearful avoidant attachment (also known as disorganised attachment) plays out in relationships. If you identify with this attachment style, you might notice certain patterns in your relationships that feel confusing or contradictory. Key points include: Feelings of instability in relationships: Many with fearful avoidant attachment feel fine when single, but...