No Crying In Baseball

The postseason peaked early for Patti with this holy crap of an all-boyfriend double play . Other than that, and  Jackson Chourio , NCiB is ticked about the LAD sweep, both because LAD and also because sweep. Maybe also because MLB will use this to push for a salary cap when collective bargaining begins. Is it fair that Shohei Ohtani is also Michael Jordan? We are not pleased that a Brewer’s fan p...

Here we are in the week of maybe we want the Beer Cruise World Series (what else would you call a Brewers/Mariners match up?), but sure do like the idea of Canadians right now, and even though we like some guys a lot it's a no go for LAD in our hearts. 15 innings of ball and we spend our time on a fish race and Kerry Carpenter not cleaning up after himself. Okay, also Jorge Palanco and Leo Rivas ....

Patti and Pottymouth have entered the “there’s always next year” phase of mourning Wildcard losses and have moved on to pondering such issues as “The Blue Jays wouldn’t have to visit the White House.” In our hearts we are simultaneously rooting for a SEA/MIL WS matchup and knocking on all the wood. In our “made it to postseason” boyfriend world we have elder statesmen counseling the kids, Ernie an...

It's the Phew Day between the last day of the regular season, and the first of the Wildcard round in which both Patti and Pottymouth are heavily invested. It was a record year for 30-30 seasons including PCA and six former NCiB boyfriends. Andy and Ernie help with the clinching, and Pottymouth gets all numerology-y with Jackson Chourio . Ceddanne clinched with a triple, and Guards play Guardball a...

As we edge closer to the postseason, Patti references a 1979 Ian Hunter classic while Pottymouth gets all literary while Waiting to Exhale. The lands of our respective births are giving us all the feels. Pottymouth promises to not mention the Red Sox at all so as not to flap any butterfly wings so you’ll only hear the team name five or six times. The Guards are on a tear, chasing an historic comeb...

Interpret it as you like, either the unusual more than a year since the last major league no-hitter , or the disappointing and angry-making corporate culture associated with the Detroit Tigers. We kick off the police blotter by sharing the outcome of the Athletic’s investigation resulting in eight men, including six from Ilitch Sports and Entertainment, which operates the team, the former assistan...

Patti and Pottymouth will never forget “ the screamable baseball game ,” which you may know alternatively as the 30th anniversary of Cal Ripken, Jr. breaking Lou Gehrig’s record for consecutive games, Yamamoto’s nearly no-no, or the craziest comeback in the history of the Orioles. We celebrated the importance of showing up every day no matter the challenges. We celebrated a friend to labor, a dad...

What happens in Vegas definitely gets shared on the pod.  Pottymouth reports back on the “ moving dirt around ” stage of the new ballpark in Las Vegas and ponders the slot machine per capita question. Kyle is nipping at Cal ’s heels – is there an actual home run race happening here at the stretch? We make a verbal Manny / Kiké / Manny sandwich. Josh Naylor keeps stealing bases with brains over spe...

Sure it’s the name of this episode’s beer of choice but it really does capture the moment. This week, from the nation’s occupied capitol, we bring you boyfriends getting out of slumps. Connor and Christian turn things around, PCA and Kyle remember the long ball. Zach is out for the season and we learn some new medical terms.  Adley is out for at least a while and we learn some contract extension t...

Pottymouth’s inner 12 year old may giggle at episode 420 but her grown up teacher self lays out MLB’s drug policy and how it’s changed over time and between leagues, from “ smoke your way to the 40 man ” to “ don’t show up high .” Player’s weekend brought us foods on bats , some philanthropy, and nostalgia for the good old days of nicknames on jerseys. We both have fantasy team pitching woes , but...

We celebrate the “gravity” and the “magnitude” of the moment as Jen Pawol makes history as the first woman to umpire a regular season MLB game.  We also put it into the disappointing context that not only is MLB 28 years behind the NBA, but, as Chelsea James notes, we almost had robo-umps before a woman had the gig. Our continuing excellent taste in baseball boyfriends is reinforced as the Heart a...

What a weekend for baseball.  Patti witnesses small children in the stands absolutely take down a full grown booing adult for his poor sportsmanship, and then fireworks. Pottymouth gets a winning double header, dubious mascots, an imaginary friend, and then fireworks. Oh and also there was that trade deadline. The Os lose 100% of their Ramons and Cedrics , but their 21% of the Jacksons in the leag...

In a surprising twist, this week’s police blotter is Little League-centric, from the policy to the personal. The entire Venezuelan Senior Little League team, made up of 13-16 year olds, was denied visas to participate in the Senior Little League World Series held in South Carolina this week. Yes, the United States broke the hearts of an entire team who not only proved themselves the best in Venezu...

No kidding, the Swing Off as the ASG tiebreaker is in the collective bargaining agreement. CBAs also show up when we crosstrain with the WNBA – players are getting crap for backing off social justice activism in favor of “business.” And by business they mean negotiating their CBA. Here to tell you, fair pay is a social justice issue. We’ve got ASG takes – mic’d up players, unis, bling vs meaning i...

Again, we have publicly committed to predictions an hour before the (all NCiB Boyfriend) Home Run Derby begins, that you won’t hear until you already know who won. How’d we do? We also check in on our pre-season predictions on standings and individual awards and learn that while some are just as terrible as history has taught us to expect, we are surprisingly right on in some places. Those places...

At this point we can’t tell the difference between crosstraining and the Police Blotter. We have travel bans , trans bans , international volleyball, collegiate swimming, and harmful decisions. We also have a WNBA player insulting Patti’s hometown, but Patti takes the high road and offers help with geography and, well, words. As we approach the All Star break we have Cal and Woody both doing Barry...

Since last week we've been to Pride night, and Pottymouth has checked out the Smokies new ballpark, and crosstrained with Bananaball . Patti opted out on Bananaball because there are two kinds of people in the world. Although Cosmic Baseball could be a thing… The All Star Game is loaded with former boyfriends and just a few new ones, and the Derby could be all our guys. Congrats to Justin Verlande...

When it is a thousand degrees outside, Elly gets sick on the field and then homers, and we just stay in the air conditioning and curse climate change. Geaux Tigers! Congrats to LSU on their College World Series win, fair and square, unlike the suspicious victory in the Jello Shot Challenge for charity (we’re looking at you, Paul and Livy). The Dodgers just have so much going on trying to overcome...

Feels like a Father’s Day episode what with weaponry gone awry , novelty shirts made from petroleum products, and Caddyshack references. PCA hits them high and low, and Woody hits them where they don’t usually go. Cutch passes Clemente, Manny sneaks up on 2000, and we’ve got more bfs on the IL than the bench. The Contreras brothers (Contrarians?) do something rare. Kiké speaks out even though the...

Did you notice that as soon as your favorite team has a series in Tampa or Sacramento, there is a “news” story that sounds like Yelp reviews of the non-major-league facilities? It would have been a 10 if not for the batter's box. Swirling and unpredictable. You get it. Pottymouth swears Junior has a sixth tool but she never comes right out and says what it is. It might be a camp! Or bobbleheads! H...

This episode fueled by cuxa in tiny teacups – perhaps a result of taking a clown visiting from Guatemala to an Orioles game and gifting him a “Relish” t shirt, or just another Sunday. Junior sets a record for under-22s. Woody sets a record for no more than 22s, and PCA (at 23) just sets the pace. Kids today! Kody with a K finds a home with MIN, and we sort out all the Victors. Oneil hits them hard...

In which we declare “McCullered” a verb and Patti references songs from both 1862 and 1985. The merry, merry month of May gives us records set by both Pete Crow-Armstrong and Jasson Dominguez . COL and Pottymouth welcome the return of Ezequiel Tovar , and there’s just so much Soto to discuss. Liam Hendriks says the kind of death threats experienced by Lance McCullers are horrifyingly common and ab...

I’ll take unlikely pitchers to strike out Shohei Ohtani for 200 please. We let Sally Jenkins and Jake Mintz take the lead on the “permanent ends when you're dead” rant re Pete and the other formerly permanently ineligibles. Will Andy Pages be the player that gets Pottymouth to manage her fantasy team more closely? Maybe! Patti’s team is again short a 3rd baseman but the math is working out. PCA’s...

Yup, an actual text sent by Patti to the Pottymouth because the new Pope is a legit sports fan . And oh how Chicago is enjoying that! We’ve got some nods to Mothers Day – badass Veronica Alvarez is gifted maternity baseball pants, Jace and Josh’s mom gets to wear a split jersey to watch them face off on a major league field, and Pottymouth gets a hat. That Patti gets to wear. Jasson Dominguez over...

It’s the day Bradley met Adley, Pottymouth decides to reach out to Duran’s mom , we sort out the battery issues and we discuss the pros and cons of honoring Don Johnson via City Connect even though it’s working for Kyle. We report in on our terrific experience watching See Her, Be Her on the big screen and enjoying a star-studded panel discussing women playing baseball. We are amused that PCA trol...