Inner Stillness Outer Chaos

Traditional health clocks—whether it’s circadian rhythms, TCM, or Ayurvedic clocks—don’t always fit our reality. In my latest episode, I share why these ancient systems often feel unattainable for those of us with chronic conditions, and how I’m embracing my own rhythm instead. If you’re tired of trying to force your body into rigid schedules and ready to find a...

People-pleasing can be a sneaky habit, especially for those of us who are highly sensitive high achievers. In this article, I dive into my own journey of unlearning people-pleasing, from its origins in childhood to how it subtly creeps into everyday life—even when I’m trying to focus on self-care. Discover how I’m shifting from people-pleasing to being attentive to others without...

We’ve all heard that “someone always has it worse,” but what if comparing your struggles is actually doing more harm than good? In this episode, I explore the importance of not comparing your struggles to others and why your pain is valid, even if others have it worse. Discover how to practice self-compassion, stop minimizing your experiences, and find the balance between gaining...

The other day, I was out walking my dog, Takoda, when I found myself caught in an unexpectedly sticky situation. It was one of those small moments that shouldn't really matter, but for some reason, it lingered—clinging to my thoughts long after it was over. We were about five minutes into our walk when Takoda stopped to do his business. As he bent over to poop, I suddenly realized that I...

I’ve been struggling with a significant flare up of my Myalgic Encephalomyelitis for the past few months, with heavy brain fog and profound fatigue. I’m sleeping 12 - 15 hours per day, while barely being able to do anything with the waking hours that I have because my energy and mental capacity is so low. The smallest of tasks (like eating or showering) seem monumental. Sure, it sucks...

It usually surprises people when I tell them that meditation and mindfulness can actually be dangerous. Sure, these practices can be largely beneficial. But there are some groups where we have to work on their Window of Tolerance first before trying them. I’ll explain more about the Window of Tolerance in a moment, but first let me tell you a story. At the end of 2021, I started experiencing...

Logically I know that there are lots of benefits of play for high achievers. I’ve read the science behind it, I know the value in it, and I’ve even tried to pick up some hobbies to ‘get the benefits’ (there’s a red-flag warning sign that I missed) It wasn’t until recently that I’d realized that my “hobbies” aren’t actually fun. It’s...

Some days I feel like a science experiment.  It's as if I’m constantly adjusting variables in a grand experiment to discover the magic combination that makes life a little easier, a bit less painful, or calms one of my many chronic health issues.  I call this my "Inner Scientist" mode, a blend of curiosity and persistence that helps me navigate each day of living with...

I’m all about creating our own calm, and one of the ways we can do that is to simplify our life. Typically, when we think about this simplification, we come across the concept of minimalism. However, minimalism may not be quite as effective as essentialism for highly sensitive people. I had a friend at one of the pediatric ICUs I used to work with that was a minimalist. She literally had one...

Life and the world that we live in is chaotic. For us highly sensitive high achievers, the constant noise and non-stop pace of life can really drain us. It often leaves us wanting to escape - to pause and take time away from everything. To zone out and just not feel or think about anything for a little while. To disconnect from ourselves. But what if the key to creating more calm lies not in escap...

Saying “no” is hard, especially for us highly sensitive high achievers. We often find ourselves caught between our people pleasing and our relentless drive to set goals and achieve them.  The result?  A profound sense of overwhelm, scattered thoughts, frazzled nerves, and a one-way ticket to burnout. Why Saying 'No' Is Harder for Highly Sensitive High Achievers Empath...

I had THE messiest room as a kid. Like, leap over the mountain of stuff to get into bed kind of messy. The when-I-go-to-camp-for-the-weekend-my-parents-would-put-everything-in-garbage-bags-for-me-to-sort-when-I-get-home kind of messy. My other siblings always seemed to have clean rooms, especially my brother. He wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up and so my parents told him that he had to be...

There’s a saying that’s been around for a while on social media that goes something like “If you think you don’t have time for something, try saying it’s not a priority’ and see how that feels.” I hate it. For so many reasons. It makes me wonder, if I were to ask you to list what you see as a priority, there would probably be a long list of things that are...

I often get asked if burnout is more prevalent now that it has been in the past. The truth? It depends on how you look at it. Answering this question isn’t as simple as looking at the data and saying “yes” or “no”. There are many contributory factors for burnout that have evolved over time, but there are also changes in our society and the expectations we have for eac...

We all have unique ways of connecting with others, and establishing boundaries (or a lack of boundaries) in relationships. These patterns or attachment styles, which are rooted in our early experiences, play a crucial role in shaping who we are and how we achieve work-life balance… or not and eventually end up burnt out.  Now, you might be wondering, what do attachment styles have to d...

There have only been a few times in my life where I could hear my heart beating in my ears. When all control was about to be taken from me regardless of if I wanted to let go of control or not. I just truly had to surrender because I really had no other choice. I was walking into an operating room, a familiar place, one I had been many times before as a Registered Nurse. This time was different. T...

What's the secret to making changes that last?   Is it willpower? Is it discipline? Is it committment? Maybe. But in my experience the winning factor was actually something else entirely.

I’ve been feeling a lot of moral distress lately with the state of the world, politically, environmentally, humanitarianly, conflict, war, genocide. It’s feeling very overwhelming for me as a highly sensitive person. I think it’s feeling like too much for most of us, really. My biggest source of moral distress, though, is that I can do my part to make a difference, but in the con...

Meditation is tough, especially when you’re a high achiever.  There, I said it.  I’ve been practicing meditation for almost 20 years and it’s still wickedly hard for me to do. Between: my busy high achieving brain thinking all the things at once the wild intrusive thoughts from my OCD my generalized anxiety about life, the universe and everything my phone and watch rece...

Objectivity is a core value of mine, so maybe that’s also a reason why I don’t resonate with the typical daily gratitude practice. To me it just seems too forced, too focused on finding a silver lining - which often discounts the struggles we may be facing. Like so many things in life, it’s a balance, and figuring out how to find that balance is what I want to talk about. Researc...

By now, you’ll know that I’m a highly sensitive person and a crier. I’ve always been quick to cry, especially when I’m frustrated. One of my core values is persistence, so I don’t know how to give up. I think I struggle with dealing with frustration because it feels like I’m failing. Like letting something else win. Not that I’m an overly competitive perso...

When I first learned about burnout I heard it was a stress management problem. Essentially it was too much stress and not enough coping strategies to deal with all that stress. But after my own epic burnout experience, I realized that way of perceiving burnout was wrong.  The truth is, burnout is not a stress management problem. It’s an energy management problem. The Truth About Burnout...

I wish I could meet the person who first said that you need 30 minutes per day of self-care so that I could shake them and ask “why????”. Finding a solid 30 minutes to dedicate to yourself is pretty difficult, especially in the lives of highly sensitive high achievers, am I right? Plus, not all self-care is made equal, and there are some things we think are self-care, but are actually...

The concept of vulnerability confuses the heck out of me. When I think about being vulnerable it feels awkward, unsafe, unclear, and I just don’t even know where to begin. Then I have a conversation on someone else’s podcast, for example, and they thank me for being so open and vulnerable. But I didn’t even realize that I was being vulnerable at all. I thought I was just being me...

When you think of meditation, you likely think about someone sitting down on the floor, legs crossed, eyes closed, hands resting on their knees, breathing deeply and looking calm and relaxed. But what if meditation didn’t have to look that way? What if all of the typical self-care practices could be adapted to what works for you, not what everybody else seems to be doing? I was on a call wit...