Hello Dysfunction

A $50 Taco Bell order turns into a very humbling phone call. Pat is solo this week, talking lash-appointment panic, iced coffee at job interviews, and knowing when to apologize. Plus, more of your shadiest stories—including hidden cash, an unexpected car, and a husband who moved into the roommate’s bedroom. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams, join us on Patreon! ht...

Your first period, the boys are crying, Alloclae complications and Christa Pike won’t quit. No for-profit prisons, is Gypsy Rose back on her bs, self defense fashion and some kitten confessions. For early and uncensored releases, weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Fo...

Fall is finally here, Gloria Estefan is alive, nail glue remover is worth it and  Pat will drink iced coffee from a stranger. Justice for Nolan Wells, underwear isn’t really optional, ignoring past grossness and we have a listener in a pickle. For early uncensored releases, weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouT...

Trust your nose, no men in gynecology, floating meditation and addictive phone games. Gas station rip offs, pray for the tenderloin, worst bday gift ever and using poop to cheat.  For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/he...

Welcome JP! Santana is 6, Pat and Lev are overheating, designer grandmacore, and Fat Joe is embarrassing. Adidas with another “mistake”, the Blueface circus continues, quaaludes making a comeback and some horrible cheating revelations. JP from The Grill joins Pat to talk music, moving to the Bay, family boundaries and keeping it professional. ❤️ Follow JP at Instagram.com/jtooswavy   For weekly bo...

Pat got good biopsy news, Santana survived the dentist, Mochi is making sin biscuits and love bombing is never safe. AI is getting darker, Lexus is watching us, Blueface has a toothbrush confession, a fake 49er found love, kangaroo tail is not oxtail and maybe Lindsay is innocent? For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction S...

Pat had a biopsy, AIDS at the club, the Silly Summer Swap and Peez needs to fight. Praying for Chantel Brooks safe return, 20 years with Santa Muerte, flock cameras are for evil, and some really disgusting stories. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctio...

Welcome back Debbie! Early influencing, touring together, the music business and a manager was stealing. Getting older, quitting weed, leaving rap and transitioning to Capozzi. ❤️ Follow Debbie at Instagram.com/debbiecakes420 Instagram.com/jordan_capozzi For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTu...

Kids don’t need lashes, Pat got a unique gift, the live show is postponed, and adult humor where it doesn’t belong. Cat and Jack program, a creative paint hack, Van Gogh was a creep, and there should be a child abuse database.  For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@he...

Getting ready for school, Pat is a driver, a mystery biopsies are medieval and Peez has a secret. A live show is coming, hoarders are dedicated, eshays are fascinating and a fun new corner of facebook.  For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us...

Old people forget ages, object empathy might be hereditary, the kids are obsessed with Michael Jackson the Netflix trend is getting crazy. People are lying about hiking, more hygiene nightmares, new shoe scams and some good stuff to watch. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://you...

Isolating is nice, a horrible discovery, old men love young girls and more stores are scanning our face. Did Kendra overreact, no more vacation excursions, is your friend’s crush off limits and will you date someone broke? For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellody...

A weird sore throat, a persistent hacker, Peez is a ballerina and Pat is blocked. Monitor your kids devices, Boosie got some karma, scary poop stories and even scarier ghost tales. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/h...

Pat is turning into that cat lady, Lev has a new friend,  July 5th is Dre Day and justice for Nolan Wells! Chris Brown is a menace, stealing sauce, stop using the robots and check your creepy friends.  For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us o...

Happy Birthday Big Juice, late night recording, some must see documentaries and a lengthy reintroduction.  For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com...

Summer camp sounds good, free cussing days, shoutout to the great dads and happy birthday Bunny!! Flower wars, no sleepovers, an internal yawn and put on a bra. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Subm...

Summer break has started, Bunny is turning 18, some wild documentaries and Peez needs a band-aid. Don’t declaw animals, no eye contact, figging not fogging and humans need two sleeps. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.co...

Welcome Natalia! Being a true LA girly, early face tattoos, being allergic to THC and recreating hood classics. Running multiple businesses while honoring a relatable upbringing, filling a space in the party scene, creating high quality cosmetics and continuously inspiring others.  ❤️ Follow Natalia at Instagram.com/nataliagold bella-dona.com honeybgold.com Scamandjam.com For weekly bonus episodes...

Welcome Alex! Surround yourself with creatives, long live Mook Life, debunking harmful PH rumors and SW is hard work. Unexplained censorship, viewers can spot a fraud, reviewing top searches and secret fun at work.  ❤️ Follow Alex at Instagram.com/alexkekesi For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on Y...

Welcome 2Soliid! Becoming an award winning braider, teaching incarcerated women, the importance of multiple hustles and staying out of trouble. Processing grief, social anxiety, difficult clients and HD topics that made a lasting impression. ❤️ Follow 2Soliid at Instagram.com/2soliid Instagram.com/freedombraiders For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreo...

Welcome Abe! Home school, the Bay Area’s weird white culture, Juggalos and a respectable scam. San Francisco’s shift, gentrification, Swamp Storiez reveal and we hate Walnut Creek. ❤️ Follow Abe at   Instagram.com/realbayareamemes Instagram.com/abeisabadwriter   For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch...

We’re keeping our jean jackets, tattoo is finished, medication adjustments and a wild hospital visit. Mother’s Day was rough, boys are becoming “hot”, chili trauma and pandemic concerns.  For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagra...

Welcome Jaymee! RIP Midnight, a weekend getaway, wild birthday parties and permanent effects of SSRI’s. Scotch tape is more useful than we thought, watch your mouth, bring back quick executions and we might be running out of gas. ❤️ Follow Jaymee at Instagram.com/whereisjaymee For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subsc...

Welcome Mykillah! Stay Golden, we’re becoming the Jetsons, love makes you softer and a medication journey. Early perimenopause, loving yourself, the guilt of success and skin suits. ❤️ Follow Mykillah at Instagram.com/mykillah For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hel...

Where are the gas boosters, too many hats, hurts to walk and our girl is getting surgery. Bring back executions, my time with a Little, don’t eat inside McDonald’s and horrible sister in laws. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Ins...