Gathering Gold

Have you ever felt like you should be able to figure out and answer all of life's questions--immediately? That if you could just find the one right lifestyle and location for you, your life would be all shimmer and shine? That you should just find life and adulthood easier? That everyone else finds it easier? These are myths about life that have their fingerprints all over our psyches. They weigh...

We used to try to keep up with the Joneses--the family behind the picket fence on that beautiful street the next town over. Now it's not just the local Joneses that we're trying to measure up to, but the influencers on Instagram, high school acquaintances that we still follow on Facebook, our past selves and our future potential.  Comparison has always been the thief of joy, but in the digital med...

There are many types of friendships, and they're all necessary. We need friends to chat with at work, neighbors to share metaphorical cups of sugar with. But we also need deep friendships built on a bedrock of safety--and those can be harder to come by. In today's episode, we are unpacking what it means to feel truly safe in a friendship. What qualities do we look for and offer to our friends in o...

We all want to experience joy, but sometimes it can feel out of reach. Sometimes, the more we chase joy, the faster it slips beyond our reach. And yet, as Sheryl so often teaches, what we water will grow. We can create conditions favorable to joy. In today's episode, we discuss joy as not a luxury but a necessity; joy as an act of resistance and a fraternal twin to grief; how joy lies hidden just...

Today's very special guest, Michael Alcée , is author of the book The Upside of OCD: Flight the Script to Reclaim Your Life . In our conversation, Michael explains what he means and does not mean when he talks about the "upside" of OCD; why Michael thinks all people with OCD start out as mini-existentialists and poets; and the key missing ingredient in many of our contemporary treatments for OCD....

It is a common refrain these days: we live in a culture of scarcity mindset. We are bombarded with messages of never enough, implicitly and explicitly warned that there is not enough money, time, attention, or even love for all of us. These messages shift us into fearful perspectives, limiting our ability to see and receive all the goodness around us. In a world where so many people are lacking ba...

We're sharing a Patreon exclusive to our Gathering Gold feed today! In this episode, we're responding to our patron Jenny's question about how to deal with the discomfort and fear that comes along with stretching our comfort zones. We talk about values-based actions, purpose and meaning, our individual window of tolerance, and the importance of self-compassion. Visit patreon.com/gatheringgold to g...

Welcome to the 100th episode of Gathering Gold! Today, we take a moment to pause and reflect on what it has meant to commit to this podcast for four years and regularly make trips together to fill up from a well of nourishing waters--waters of deep listening, conversation, reflection, and compassion. We talk about how and why we have tried to make this podcast a refuge, how it has impacted our rel...

In contemporary society, we face more choices--and more decisions--than ever before. This can sometimes feel like a curse as much as it is also a blessing, especially for those of us struggle with indecisiveness.  In today's episode, we discuss mindsets around decision-making that can help us find more ease around the little decisions ("What should I order from the menu?") and the big decisions ("...

In today's follow-up to the Escape Hatch Fantasies episode , Sheryl and Victoria discuss the double-edged allure of ruminating on what could be? and what could have been?  They discuss the difference between a fantasy and a dream for the future, how to work with the energy of regret, and what we can learn from the film Past Lives (2023) about making space for longing, mystery, and acceptance in th...

In preparation for our next episode, we bring to you one of our most popular episodes to date: Escape Hatch Fantasies. Members of our Patreon can submit questions and reflections for our follow-up conversation about escape hatch fantasies at patreon.com/gatheringgold   * * * We all indulge in fantasizing from time to time. Maybe you find yourself scrolling through Zillow looking at houses for sale...

"You can read and listen and learn for years, but unless you take actions that create more well-being, you will remain stuck. While accurate information is important and often transformative, it's the compassionate actions we take on our own behalf that create long-lasting, deep-rooted, sustainable change." In today's episode, we introduce a new tool for healing anxiety at the root: Sheryl's forth...

Some children and adolescents bound toward the future, excitedly proclaiming, "I can't wait to grow up!"  Others are a bit more unsure--some of us may resist growing up well into our 20s and beyond. Acts of resistance against adulthood can be big or small, noticeable or subtle. Even those who were excited to grow up in childhood may find that fears begin to dampen their enthusiasm as the reality o...

What does it mean to grow up? Is it about arriving at a destination at a specific time, after following the linear formula of job, marriage, house, baby? Or is it an ongoing process of development that happens both internally and externally, rippling through our inner world and shining forth in how we engage with the world? What does it mean to grow up on an emotional level? In this episode, we ex...

“Energy moves in waves. Waves move in patterns. Patterns move in rhythms. A human being is just that, energy, waves, patterns, rhythms. Nothing more. Nothing less. A dance.” --Gabrielle. Roth Our heartbeat. Our breath. Our steps along the sidewalk. Our life happens in rhythms--breath by breath, heartbeat by heartbeat, step by step. We move in and out of seasons, feel a shift in tempo as our energy...

Sometimes, the month of January can start to feel like one long dark night.  Many of us step off the carousel of the holiday season feeling a little dizzy and off-kilter. Some of us might even feel a sense of darkness or despair as we thud back into harsh reality (and, in certain parts of the world, deep winter). We may be teetering between hope and despair; grief and gratitude; anger and acceptan...

In the spirit of the season, we bring to you one of our most popular episodes to date: last year's episode about the Winter Solstice. We are also offering a special 15% off discount for any new Patreon sign-ups with code GOLD24 and are hosting a Winter Solstice gathering for the Meet-Up Members on Sunday, December 22, at 3 pm EST. Visit patreon.com/gatheringgold to learn more.  * * * We are approa...

We all know that practicing gratitude is good for us: we've read news articles about groundbreaking research on the benefits of gratitude, purchased gratitude journals, maybe started incorporating gratitude practices into family dinners or even work meetings. So why is it still sometimes so hard to really feel and and experience gratitude in an authentic and enriching way? And what are some pathwa...

Leaves are falling from the trees. The world is shifting into hues of gray and brown, into sparseness and clarity. Meanwhile, we are entering into the holiday season. Amidst it all--the darkness and the light, the fatigue and the excitement--how can we stay present for the gifts all around us? Not the gifts wrapped in paper and bows, but the little, everyday miracles: the maple tree still wrapped...

"There are times of heightened fear. And there are times when there is a lot of fear in the greater collective, in the culture. And I do think that one of our ultimate tasks, one of our ultimate spiritual tasks as human beings, in these bodies, is to work with fear and its opposite, which is love, but also is trust." In today's episode, Sheryl shares wisdom about grounding ourselves during uncerta...

“I can tell you the names of Taylor Swift’s parents, but not my great-grandparents.” Can you relate to Victoria’s admission in today’s episode? Many of us have lost connection with our ancestors. Or rather, that connection was severed even before we were born, by cultural conditions that de-prioritize relationships in general, and familial bonds in particular.  And: connecting to the unseen realm...

Sometimes, it all feels like too much: too much responsibility, too many expectations, too much sensation, too many feelings, too much hyper-vigilance. In these moments, we can be enveloped by a feeling of overwhelm. Sometimes, things really are just too much. Some things needs to give. Systems need to change. And, sometimes we pause for a moment to scan our inner world and find that certain minds...

Meaning making. Connecting to breath. Aligning with nature. So many actions, big and small, can help us dig a little deeper into the soil of time, anchor ourselves against the buffeting winds of change and demands, especially as we shift into a new season.   We recorded this conversation in front of a live virtual audience of Patreon community members , opening up the second half of the episode fo...

We often resist doing things that we know are good for us—including inner work. We attend one therapy session and then stop showing up. We drag our heels on the way to yoga class. We let our journal grow dusty in the corner. Our resistance to change and to effort gets the best of our intention to grow. Today, we are exploring some of the voices and characters of resistance—including the inner chil...

By nature or nurture, or some combination of the two, some of us are chronically risk averse–especially if we struggle with anxiety. While some cautiousness can be healthy, extreme risk aversion can keep us from engaging with the world deeply, living our values, and just plain enjoying life. By taking risks, we learn more about ourselves and the world. And by learning more about ourselves and the...