Chatabix

David and Joe chat with Nigel Richardson, author of 'The Accidental Detectorist'. David latches on to Nigel and begs him to be his detectorist guru asking if he'll ever stop feeling like a wally when he's out and about with all the gear and if it can ever be sexy. Crucially, David wants to know what his chances are of ever finding anything worthwhile. Nigel shows off his hoard of finds which invig...

Joe and David chat to a lovely police officer called James who is based in a police station in London's east end. The lads absolutely loved chatting to James but quickly realise they don’t really know what a police officer is or does. Luckily James puts them straight and they chat about dealing with members of the public, police stakeouts, bringing down drug gangs and getting interrupted when you’...

A few months ago David spent a few days in a place he booked through a company called Canopy and Stars. He wanged on about it on the pod and they heard and got in touch to see if he wanted to pod from one of their locations. He was sent a few options of interesting places and in this episode he takes Joe to see the one he liked the best. David get's a bit anxious getting out of the car but settles...

You Tube pranksters Josh Pieters & Archie Manners are on the pod and mayhem ensues. They are running late so while Joe and David wait for them to appear they start worrying that they are being pranked. After a few tech issues the lads appear like whirling dervishes telling Joe he looks older than he does on tv. They talk about some of their pranks including flying Katie Hopkins over to Prague...

Joe's off on another adventure, this time he's in Cornwall having returned to a special place that brings back fond memories. David has no idea where Joe is in the world despite it being mentioned on numerous pods before and the place that sparked Joe's interest in his latest hobby. After showing David the view and giving him a tour of the holiday home where he is staying Joe's meets up with a new...

Gabby Logan is today's guest and David repeatedly describes her as Royalty. Joe and David both can’t stop saying “can I ask a question” much to Gabby's amusement and then promise that they will try and stop saying it as that's what she's there for. She gives them tips on how to change the subject during an interview. Gabby reminds Joe that she has worked with him before even though Joe thinks he m...

Following on from last weeks episode David is still podding from his car and continues to take Joe on a tour of houses where he used to do gardening. This time they take in the gardens of Ditchling (where it turns out the phone reception is even worse than in Twineham) David show Joe the triangle of grass he used to mow for an extra 25 quid and he re-enacts mowing it for Joe. Then they chat about...

Joe is out and about again but this time he is off on an urban adventure ! David tries to guess where Joe is as he comes out of the train station. Apparently they have been speaking about visiting this place for a year and a half but David still doesn't twig. That is until Joe introduces him to a Chatabix regular and then the penny drops. Joe takes David behind the scenes and explains there is a s...

Joe and David chat to the comic and actor Ted Robbins best known for his roles in Benidorm, Little Britain, The League of Gentleman and Phoenix Nights. Ted tells them about being related to Paul McCartney and what it was like growing up with him and seeing him at family gatherings. He tells them he once watched Paul record at Abbey Road and John Lennon gave him a chocolate rabbit. In between telli...

David's in an air-bnb but the wifi is terrible so he decamps to the car and decides to take Joe on a tour of some of the houses where he used to work as a gardener. The tour predominantly focusses on Twineham and ends up in a motorway service station where David would take his daily nap. He has very little in the way of information for each of the houses but nonetheless Joe finds it all very excit...

Joe decides to try and break his 1k time again and heads to Brighton seafront for a run. He tells David his personal best for doing 5k is 21.17 so David does the math to work out what Joe needs to do to break his 1k time and then tells Joe that the world record is 2min 11. Joe doesn't think this is relevant as Steve Ovett wasn't podding at the time. They discuss whether Joe can break the 4 minute...

David's in the spinny seat waiting for his surprise guest. He's feeling very anxious and looks to Joe for reassurance. He's been drinking black coffee which is not helping his jitters. When the guest appears David is overwhelmed to see one of his heroes. He's speechless and the only thing he can think of to say is 'Thankyou' and then they start talking about the weather. The guest tells them about...

David has had a big package delivered and hasn't got a clue what it is or who it's from. He opens it to find its a load of metal detecting accesories. Joe reveals that the gear has been sent by Peter at LP Metal Detecting to aid David with his detecting adventures. David excitedly unpacks his goodies one by one which include tactical gloves, a tactical bag & water bottle carrier and a Garrett...

It's David's 50th birthday and TV Joe has come up with an idea for a special birthday surprise ep following David's pod life since Chatabix first started 3 years ago. David is overwhelmed when TV Joe takes him on a meandering journey down memory lane and plays him messages from old Chatabix guests including Neil Webster the Producer who fired him, Ben Rufus-Green from the Cockfields days, the OG w...

Joe and David catch up with their old mate comedian Roisin Conaty. While they wait for her they tell each other elephant jokes. Roisin kicks off by telling them about cold water swimming, getting the shits and losing her voice. After swapping loads of funny stories they start taking post-it notes off David’s pin board and talking about whatever is on it, this throws up some even funnier stories in...

David and Joe get excited about the possibility of Joe getting his hair cut live on the pod by Nicky Clarke. Joe's been sent a Dry Robe after his visit to the Wave because he got so cold. David and Joe struggle to find anything to talk about and find themselves talking about the next ep as they can't find anything to talk about in the current ep. Clutching at straws, David shows Joe how he rides h...

Joe and David have another lovely little catch up with Fenners. Joe is still not comfortable calling him Fenners because he did it too early last time but David is very comfortable with it. Fenners updates Joe and David on his latest charity shop finds. And they all try and work out what Fenners eps can be about if he still wants to be a regular guest. And then they hit on an idea!!! Fenners is go...

It's Joe's turn for a surprise guest and he doesn't have a clue who is coming on. After a slightly anxious start, Joe turns away from the screen so he can't see who the guest is. When David tell's him to spin around in the spinny chair for the big reveal Joe doesn't recognise the person in front of him. This is understandable as the guest is not someone you'd recognise but is someone who started a...

Joe opens a flat looking parcel, it is a present from the Battle Of The Chatabands winner Mezz Coleman. Mezz has sent Joe her album so he can play it on the retro record player his wife Petra bought him for Christmas. He goes downstairs to play it but things get a bit awkward because the cleaner is in the kitchen. Joe beats a hasty retreat back upstairs to his office. Then David takes Joe on some...

At last it has stopped raining so David can take Joe metal detecting. David goes to his his usual field and fires up the kit. Joe is loving it but to say its a slow start is an understatement. They realise they don't really know how the Garrett Pro Pointer works so Joe tries to read out the instructions for David as they go. Excitingly they get a hit and David digs and digs and digs and digs and d...

Comedy actress Lolly Adefope is on the pod. Joe and David are delighted to see her and they talk about popping round to her house unannounced and what that would be like. After chatting about what it was like all working together on David and Joe's discontinued sitcom Rovers they ask Lolly what it was like working on Ghosts, a sitcom that did get recommisioned multiple times. Lolly tells them how...

David is 5 mins late for recording this episode as he's busy eating scrambled eggs so while Joe waits he chats to the listeners about Davids 50th birthday present possibly arriving live on the pod. When David turns up he is concerned that this episode is going nowhere, that is until the present arrives and the whole ep is turned on its head. Joe has bought him a Garrett Pro Pointer which is a tool...

David has bought a metal detector and was going to take Joe out to experience his new found hobby but it’s pissing down and apparently the machine doesn’t work very well in the rain. So instead David tells Joe all about how much fun he had yesterday when he went metal detecting with the family. David tells Joe that he couldn't pluck up the courage to ask a farmer for permission to use the detector...

David and Joe are delighted to chat to old comedy pal Alex Lowe. They insist he does some of his characters including Barry from Watford. David and Joe then give it a go themselves, trying to copy Barry's mad voice with not much success as they are laughing too much. They ask Alex where he gets his ideas from for his fantastic characters and then discuss his time on the brilliant Phoenix Nights wi...

Joe shows David his magnet fishing set and David shows Joe his metal detecting apparatus. They are very excited about their new bits of kit. Joe imagines what it would be like to magnet fish a blue metal teapot out of a river and discovers there are regulations about where you can and can't use a magnet. They both worry about where they are going to do their new found hobbies and how embarrassing...