Breaking Our Borders

Send us Fan Mail   Welcome back to the Breaking Our Borders Podcast! Trauma survivors often feel emotionally numb, empty, and disconnected from feelings. If asked about who they are, they often struggle to give an answer that identifies their characteristics. In today’s episode I’m going to talk about what causes these feelings, discuss how they were developed, and how we can break down the border...

Send us Fan Mail   Welcome back! I recently read the book The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk. He provided several insights as to what trauma is, what it does to our brain and body, and how we can begin to heal from it. In today’s episode I will share with you the information I gained from this book, and will talk about how we can work on healing our trauma. Let’s get started talking a...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back to the Breaking Our Borders podcast! Today I’m going to talk about something that has been the toughest part of my healing journey, and that is still feeling unsafe in my body. I struggle daily with feelings of anxiety, hypervigilance, and fear. I have trouble relaxing and feeling safe, even though I am no longer in a traumatic situation. In this episode I will explai...

Send us Fan Mail Hi everyone, and welcome back to the Breaking Our Borders Podcast. Today I’m going to discuss a topic that many of us have experienced, and struggle to move past. It’s the mental border of feelings of anger, bitterness, and injustice from being hurt in past relationships without resolution. This gets even harder to manage when the ex seems to have changed into a different person,...

Send us Fan Mail Hi everyone! I’m so glad you are joining me for this episode. Today I’m going to talk about the guilt and shame that childhood trauma survivors feel, and how we need to forgive ourselves for the choices we made due to experiencing trauma. Many childhood trauma survivors feel regret for things they did, didn't do, said, didn't say, or believe about themselves, even though...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back everyone! Thank you for joining me for another episode of the Breaking Our Borders Podcast. Today I would like to discuss some of the most common borders that can be built in our minds from experiencing childhood trauma. I will also talk about how to start breaking down those borders so you can have happier and healthier thoughts about yourself. So let’s get started b...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back to the Breaking Our Borders Podcast! I’m Dr. Michelle Border. Do you ever wish you could stop worrying, being anxious, or having catastrophic thinking? I do, and after 15 years of counseling and healing work, it still happens to me. Today I’m going to talk about what each of these topics mean, what happens in our brain when we do them, and how we can learn to control...

Send us Fan Mail Hello everyone! Welcome back to the Breaking Our Borders Podcast. Have you ever done something you didn’t want to do, just to make someone else happy? Maybe you went to the movie your partner wanted to see but you didn’t, or you answered a friend’s call because you knew they were having problems, but you really didn’t have the time (or energy) to talk to them? Then after you do so...

Send us Fan Mail Hello and welcome back! I’m Dr. Michelle Border, and in today’s episode I’m going to talk about mental borders of feeling like you’re not good enough or too much. These are common feelings among survivors of childhood trauma, but can also be developed in children who were neglected from a lack of parenting skills. Today I will talk about how these feelings develop and how to chang...

Send us Fan Mail Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the Breaking Our Borders podcast. I’m Dr. Michelle Border, and in today’s episode I’m going to talk about forgiveness. I’ll discuss what forgiveness means, how to give it, and whether or not we should give it. It is a choice we make to give forgiveness, and in my mind, not something that should be given to everyone. So, let’s get started talking about...

Send us Fan Mail Hello, everyone! I’m Doctor Michelle Border and I’m so glad you are joining me again this week. In today’s episode I will discuss the concept of our Inner Child. The "inner child" is a metaphor for the part of the brain that retains the emotions, memories, and beliefs formed during childhood. These emotions, memories, and beliefs can have a huge impact on our adulthood....

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back!  I’m Dr. Michelle Border and today I’m going to talk about what we can do when in unhealthy or toxic relationships that we are not ready to or cannot get away from. Negative relationships can take a toll on our mental health and build pretty strong borders in our minds. So let’s get started talking about how we can cope with these relationships, how to break down tho...

Send us Fan Mail Hello, and welcome back! I’m Dr. Michelle Border and in today’s episode I’m going to talk about Trauma Bond. Trauma Bond is what happens in our brains when narcissists manipulate us and change the biochemical pathways in our brains. I recently learned about this concept and wanted to share this new information with you. I’m going to explain what trauma bond is, how it happens, and...

Send us Fan Mail Hello, everyone and welcome back! I’m Dr. Michelle Border and in today’s episode I’m going to talk about grief. We think of grief as being associated with the death of someone close to us, but grief can be felt for other types of losses as well. Today I will talk about the many different ways we can experience grief, the different emotions that come with grief, and how we can work...

Send us Fan Mail   Hi, everyone! This week’s episode is going to be short as I’m on vacation and won’t be home to put together a regular episode.   You could use this time this week to check out my previous episodes that you may have missed on your favorite podcast provider, to find me on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube, or to check out my journal prompts on my website at breakingourborder...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back! I’m super excited about this episode as this is the first time I have done an interview for the podcast. Today I have a special guest with me, Mr. Adam Copeland. I met Adam at a STEM teaching conference where he was the keynote speaker, and I was inspired by his speech. He discussed Positive Leadership, but I saw how his ideas about leadership related to personal gro...

Send us Fan Mail Hello and welcome back! I’m Dr. Michelle Border and in today’s episode I’m going to talk about perceptions. Perceptions are how individuals organize, identify, and interpret sensory information to understand the world around them. It has been my experience that the difference in perceptions can be the cause of misunderstandings, arguments, and hurt feelings. It is important that w...

Send us Fan Mail Hello, everyone!  Welcome back! I’m Dr. Michelle Border and in today’s episode I am going to talk about my healing journey. I have had several listeners say, I recognize my trauma and hear you about how I need to get on the healing journey, but how do I do that? Today I will tell you what I have done on my healing journey and what methods have helped me the most. So, let’s get sta...

Send us Fan Mail Hi and welcome back! I’m Dr. Michelle Border and in today’s episode I am going to discuss healthy and unhealthy romantic and friends relationships. Survivors of childhood trauma often carry personality adaptations and disorders into adulthood that are used to cope with their abuse, as well as borders created in their minds from the abusive treatment. These are not always positive...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back! I’m Dr. Michelle Border and in today’s episode I’m going to talk deeper about physical and sexual abuse. Physical abuse is any aggressive or violent behavior by one person toward another that results in bodily injury, and includes any sexual behavior forced on a victim that provides stimulation for abuser. While physical abuse is done to the victim’s body, it also ca...

Send us Fan Mail   Hello everyone, and welcome back! I’m Dr. Michelle Border and in today’s episode I’m going to take a deeper look at emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is a type of abuse that affects the mind of the victim, not abuse on the body. The abuser uses words to manipulate the victim into someone who supports the abuser’s irrational view of themselves as being perfect. I’m going to talk a...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back! I’m Dr. Michelle Boder, and in today’s episode I”m going to share with you an analogy that came to my mind while at a conference recently. This analogy helped me to better understand what I need to do to have a healthier mind and be a happier person. I want to share this analogy with you in hopes that it will help you as well. So let’s get started talking about it ri...

Send us Fan Mail Hello, and welcome back. I’m Dr. Michelle Border and in today’s episode I’m going to talk about a concept called mother and father wounds. When a child is abused,  neglected, or ignored they develop life-long struggles with emotional health and social experiences. Borders are created in their minds about who they are from their parents’ actions or lack thereof. Let’s get started t...

Send us Fan Mail   Welcome back! I’m Dr. Michelle Border and in today’s episode I’m going to talk about Empaths. Empathy is a personality trait, and basically the opposite of narcissists. Since I talked about Narcissists in my last two episodes, I wanted to talk about a personality trait with different motives than the narcissist. Empathetic personality traits can form in many of the same ways tha...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back! I’m Dr. Michelle Border and this episode is part 2 about narcissism. In the first episode I discussed what narcissism is, what causes it, and what is going on in the mind of a narcissist. In today’s episode I’m going to tell you about the tactics they use on their victims to get what they want. I’ll also explain the borders this creates in the victim’s mind. So let’s...