Bitch Bible

Jackie makes a strong case for mother of the year with her Valentine’s Day dedication to Clyde and his grown up vocabulary, explains to Andrew what a landscape architect does, and pitches herself as a new friend to Rihanna and Adele. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie has been struck by divine inspiration for her backyard renovation and talks about her grand welcome to the stone yard, Clyde’s night in Abu Ghraib, and wiping away tears of laughter to be a Good Samaritan. Thanks for supporting my sponsors: Merit Beauty: Get Merit's Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at www. MeritBeauty.com Revolve: Shop my edit, and take 15% off your first order wi...

Jackie continues to persevere through facial paralysis to bring you a recap of the Grammys and Clyde’s visit to urgent care, while also taking a moment to rip linear lantern light fixtures to shreds. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is back from the clinic with 110 units of youthful rejuvenation and fighting through facial paralysis to discuss Little Ricki’s baby, Taylor Swift’s text messages to Blake Lively, and makes a huge backyard announcement. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie desperately tries to eradicate her previously questionable behavior by giving the world a wholesome (not really), informative (kinda) and intellectual (hard no) update on pop culture, mental health and relationship advice! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie exposes her plastic surgery journey in the most embarrassing way possible, dissects the “2016” trend and reminisces and details her most recent altercations! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is sticking with her New Years resolution and sets the financial record straight, does a deep dive into Ashley Tisdale’s toxic mom group, and explains why you shouldn’t trust people with fake plants and accent walls. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is back and resolves to be bitchier than ever in 2026, laments the derth of proper entertainment, and recaps her first holiday off in years that includes power outages, flooding pools, rodents, spoiling caviar, and an incontinent child. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie greets 2019 with the same morally flexibility of years prior. She breaks down the post holiday blues, her friendship with Taylor Swift, the Golden Globes and why sending 160,000 text messages to a guy is totally normal! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie chats with good friend Heather McMahan to purge their souls pre-Holiday festivities and find eternal optimism in unlikely places. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie celebrates Chrismukkah early by spreading joy (not) on all things festive and annoying. From targeting innocent civilians, berating Bachelor contestants and expressing distaste for the holidays - just paint this bitch green and move her to Who-ville. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie gives an update on Rat Search 2025, gives Diddy the dressing down he deserves, and critiques Bethenny Frankel’s home decor. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is back stateside and recaps her trip to Paris with Heather McMahan, puts on the performance of a lifetime in an attempt to get a leather appointment at Hermès, and praises raccoon fur sweaters. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie has changed her Yelping ways and writes not one, but two powerful, glowing reviews for a local oyster bar, reviews Wicked for Good, and goes cold turkey on Diet Coke in preparation for Paris. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie counts down the days to her Paris trip, beams with pride at Clyde’s love of schadenfreude, and gives thanks for hoes in multiple area codes. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie takes a well earned deep breath following the completion of the Dim the Lights tour, rails against the glorification of tinned fish, and advises against combining bodily fluid colors in an outfit. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie announces some exciting news (don't worry, she is not pregnant) drops some spicy marital advice and tackles religion (why?). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie recounts the inappropriate attire at the Sabrina Carpenter show in Nashville, plans a second heist at the Louvre, and extols the benefits of her impenetrable immune system. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is joined by Amanda McCants to discuss being late, Westlake mom’s, Amanda’s recent breakup, and everything on her hate list. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is back from her San Fransisco redemption show, and discusses the perfect soundtrack for a plane crash, takes family photos before Andrew loses his front teeth, and endures an annoyingly positive trip to Aritzia. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie’s back with new extensions and shoulder pads to discuss fostering a child at the park for 8 minutes, clarify that she is not a rat with a mic, and point out Hellen Keller’s real greatest accomplishment. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie recounts her recent social encounters, pays homage to her favorite celebrities and alienates 96% of her listeners. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie discusses her recent staycation and the benefits of sympathy upgrades, her thoughts on The Life of a Showgirl, and the heavy burden of being deeply funny. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jackie is joined by the incredible Michelle Collins to discuss, fixing and being fixed in relationships, bringing back bullying and shame, and why the housewives need a villain. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Alone in the trenches of her home this week, Jackie discusses how some people need to be punched to get some grit, names the greatest trait in a house wife, and suppresses the urge to beat children at the park with her purse. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .