Beyond The Glass Slipper

Click here to text us! In the classic Dickens story, A Christmas Carol, 3 ghosts come to visit Ebeneezer Scrooge throughout the night on Christmas Eve -        The Ghost of Christmas Past       The Ghost of Christmas Present       The Ghost of Christmas Future As you might imagine, the appearance of each ghost person was rather unnerving for Ebeneezer. The most unnerving part though was realizing...

Click here to text us! Even though stores started putting up Christmas decorations about 2 months ago,     we’re now officially on the other side of Thanksgiving here in the States and the Christmas season is in full swing! Depending on where you’re at in your healing journey embracing the spirit of the season may come with some mixed emotions - for good reasons. It’s crucial that you understand h...

Click here to text us! In our previous 2  episodes we shared 10 tactics narcissists use against you to create  a really twisted version of a carnival Fun House that is meant to keep you off balance, distort your self-concept, and train you not to trust your own judgment. In Part 3 of this series we’re going to look at another 5 tactics that were used against you:       Hoovering       Baiting    ...

Click here to text us! In our previous episode we shared with you how narcissists create a really twisted version of a carnival Fun House that is meant to keep you off balance, distort your self-concept, and train you not to trust your own judgment. We shared 5 head games they play and discussed why they did it, how they did it, and why you may still be living in a reactive posture to what was con...

Click here to text us! Have you ever been in a Fun House at a carnival when you were growing up? You never knew what to expect as you moved from one section to the next. There’s mirrors all around that show wildly distorted images and make it hard to tell where to move forward.   When you look in the mirror you see a bizarrely  distorted image you barely recognize gazing back at you. In the next s...

Click here to text us! When you’ve lived through narcissistic abuse it’s common to come out of that struggling with issues surrounding boundaries. Narcissists are skillful at systematically eroding even strong boundaries.  As a matter of fact, especially when it comes to a Category 3 type of narcissist, they look at your boundary and say to themselves, “I’ll take that challenge”. To them it’s ente...

Click here to text us! If you’re a regular listener to the podcast you know that usually Carol Pavlik and Wendy Ockers join me as cohosts for our conversation. Today is something a bit different. I recently recorded an interview featuring Carol for Comfy Conversations, which is one of the features in my membership, Beautiful Life Academy.   This episode showcases Carol's expertise and experie...

Click here to text us! Sometimes you hear something from the perspective of another person that just jumps out and smacks you between the eyes. I stumbled across a quote that caught my attention and made me ponder the point the author was making. Since this marks NeverNarc Podcast’s 50th episode, I thought it would be fun and maybe yield some great insights to gather a few thought provoking quotes...

Click here to text us! There’s no doubt that being in a long term relationship with a narcissist is trauma inducing. Your assumptions about who you are and what’s possible for you have been shattered. You were robbed of your relational innocence and blissful optimism. Your total viewpoint has experienced a radical paradigm shift that isn’t pleasant or pretty. Whether you realize it or not, you’re...

Click here to text us! It might surprise you to hear that although we haven’t yet met, I already know some things about you. I’d be willing to bet that no matter what you’ve been through in the past or what kind of day you’re having in the present, you do your best to always think of the wellbeing of others. You’re a good friend. You’re respectful to others. You show kindness to your family and fr...

Click here to text us! The movie “Groundhog Day” starring Bill Murray tells the story of a TV weatherman who found himself trapped living the same day over and over again. No matter what he tried he’d find himself right back in that same loop repeating the day.   In the same way, after the traumatizing, crazy-making experiences we had dealing with a narcissist,  we too can be caught in a loop.   A...

Click here to text us! There’s something truly baffling about the radical personality  shifts of narcissists. On one hand, they can be kind, compassionate, thoughtful, intelligent, funny, and truly helpful.  They can be there in multiple ways when you need them and you feel so grateful for that.  On the other hand, they can be selfish, insensitive, mean, manipulative, demeaning, and even sadistic....

Click here to text us! When we look back over what we’ve experienced at the hands of that narcissist too often we kick ourselves. We ask ourselves -  “How could I have been so blind?” “Why did I trust him/her?” “Where did it all go wrong?” “How could I have been so foolish?” “Why did I make excuses when the cracks in the veneer started to appear? “Why did I hang in there so long?” Trust me, you’re...

Click here to text us! Once you break free from having to deal with that narcissist on a daily basis it’s such a relief! But at the same time there’s a restlessness in your soul, an uneasiness that you can’t quite put your finger on. No, you’re not weird. That tangle of conflicting and irrational thoughts and emotions were planted in you on purpose.   It was part of how the narc controlled you. Th...

Click here to text us! The narcissist targeted you because you truly are an amazing person.  You have the kind of qualities that people truly admire.  You’re kind and considerate to others.  You’re generous, resourceful, and super sharp.  You love the Lord and are always focused on growing in Christlikeness. The narcissist is counting on leveraging those qualities, plus tapping the hooks they plan...

Click here to text us! There’s  a lot of messages we pick up from our parents, authority figures in our life - and especially from that long term narcissistic relationship. Some messages are helpful. Some messages distort our self-concept, our sense of worth, and the value of what we have to offer the world. That can make all the difference between stepping into the spiritual power and authority w...

Click here to text us! Even though you’re free from daily interaction with that narcissist, it doesn’t mean your thought process and relational defaults are free. You may not even realize you’ve acquired multiple default settings about how you relate to others. You may think that fixing problems for others is a wonderful, Christlike  thing to do. Maybe, but maybe not. Besides, it’s pretty exhausti...

Click here to text us! It doesn't matter if it's been 10 months or 10 years since you escaped the grip of the narcissist, your heart can still be weighed down and hurting.  You may be functional now as you go about your days, but that doesn't mean you're free! It's entirely possible that you're the walking wounded.  That's not the life God intended for you! When...

Click here to text us! We’re all familiar with the phrase, “Fight, Flight, or Freeze”,  and likely may have personally experienced it.  But what’s really going on with this? Our brains are naturally wired to be continually on the lookout, working in the background to protect us, picking up on things we often aren’t even consciously aware of.  That’s incredibly important and useful! However, when w...

Click here to text us!  Pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy and let’s talk about what you need to know when you reach the healing and affirmation stage when working through the unique grieving process after narcissistic abuse. You’ll know you’re moving into this stage when the novelty of  the narc being gone has worn off and you’re beyond seeing yourself as offended and victimized. When you’re r...

Click here to text us! As Christians we often hear how God would have us forgive those who have offended us.  There’s truth in this and it is important. But when it comes to the deep wounds of narcissistic abuse, trying to forgive feels impossible - even insulting! At best we feel like a guilty failure because we just can’t do it.  At worst it stirs tremendous anger & resentment in us - even a...

Click here to text us! As you start piecing your life back together and move beyond the initial anger stage, inevitably you hit a wall and find yourself stuck in regret, kicking yourself with the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s. Just trying to press on with your days doesn’t fix things. You can be free of the narcissist for years, yet still be mired in regret, anger, and unforgiveness with yourself that...

Click here to text us! We’ve all heard about the 5 stages of grief, but it’s very different when it comes to grief involved with narcissistic abuse.  Initially, there’s that sense of  shock and dissonance when we’re putting 2+2 together, followed by feeling driven to uncover the truth.  Then the outrage hits as we realize how badly we were lied to and manipulated.  So what naturally follows is dep...

Click here to text us! We know while the narcissistic relationship was in full swing it had its claws in every aspect of your life.  Now that it’s over you may still wrestle, occasionally or even a lot reconciling what happened and it’s casting a shadow over you and your future. The problem is that you’re still caught up with aspects of  the past, and how you see yourself now,  which means the nar...

Click here to text us! Once you’ve come to terms with the fact that you were dealing with a narcissist, that you were deliberately and knowingly gaslighted and emotionally abused, among other travesties, the normal and natural response is outrage. As a matter of fact, I’d be worried if you weren’t outraged. You’ll find yourself dealing with a righteous indignation and demand for justice, especiall...