Beware of the Leopard: the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy podcast

Mark and Jon Bounds are joined by Danny Smith to continue pawing through the J section of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy . Juju-flop When in a national speech, the financial minister of the Royal World Estate of Qualvista said that the economy had now arrived at “one whole juju-flop situation”, everyone was so pleased he felt able to come out and say it, that they quite failed to notice that...

In lieu of a full episode this week, here’s volume one of our collection of outtakes and bits that were too rude - or nonsensical - even for this show.

Mark and Jon Hickman are joined by Jon Bounds to continue pawing through the J section of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy . Jaglan Beta Jaglan Beta is second out from the star Jaglan, near the Axle Nebula (and no, Jon, this isn’t a real place). We know three things about it: it has cold moons so it’s useful to wrap a towel around you to keep you warm, Ford once saw a star buggy smash into its...

Mark and Danny Smith are joined by Jon Hickman to continue pawing through the H section of the Hitchhiker’s Guide. Imperial Galaxy In the last moments of his dying coma, the hereditary Emperor of the Galaxy was locked in a statis field which kept him in a state of perpetual unchangingness. All his heirs are now long dead, and this has meant that without any drastic political upheaval, power simply...

Mark and Jon Bounds are joined by Danny Smith to continue pawing through the H section of the Hitchhiker’s Guide. Human beings One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about human beings was their habit of continually stating and repeating the obvious, as in “It’s a nice day”, or “You’re very tall”, or “Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you a...

Mark and Jon Hickman are joined by Jon Bounds to continue pawing through the H section of the Hitchhiker’s Guide . Hooloovoo A super-intelligent shade of the color blue Hoopy A person who is hoopy, or posesses the property of hoopiness is a “really together guy”. I feel like I meet hoopy people from time to time, and I’m never quite sure how to recover. Horse & Groom Arthur’s local pub on Eart...

Mark and Danny Smith are joined by Jon Hickman to continue working thorugh the H section of the Hitchhiker’s Guide . Hastromil A star system we can see disappear into the black void of space, at Milliways. Hawalius A planet of soothsayers. It’s where Arthur met the old woman who lives in a cave, and the man on a pole when he seeks guidence. Heart of Gold The starship Heart of Gold is a beautiful s...

Mark and Jon Bounds are joined by Danny Smith to start work on the H section of Douglas Adams’ Hitchhikers’ universe. Hactar Hactar is the first computer ever to be shocked. The Silastic Armorfiends of Striterax disintegrated it into dust, but it still functioned, slowly. In the radio series, he was played by Leslie Philips. Haggunenons The Haggunenons of Vicissitus Three have the most impatient c...

Mark and Jon Bounds are joined by Jon Hickman to finish rattling through the Gs, including a stop off at the Guide, and some very special found poetry. Grebulons The Grebulons were awoken from hyperspace sleep with no memories, after a meteorite struck their ship. They are thin and, under domestic lighting conditions, a sort of dim purplish green. They settled on a moon orbiting Pluto, and monitor...

Mark and Danny are joined by Jon Hickman to discuss who should end up on the B Ark and understand impossible sentences. Golgafrincham Ark Fleet A fictional fleet of ships, invented to allow the inhabitants of Golgafrincham to rid themselves of an entire useless third of their population. Googleplex Starthinker A super-computer from the Seventh Galaxy of Light and Ingenuity, with the ability to cal...

The team are back for 2018, and continuing their mission to explore the Hitchhiker’s Guide universe in alphabetical order. This week, Danny Smith and Jon Bounds tackle the G section, and we reveal the results of our Hypothetical Slarti poll. Geoffrey McGivern In his time on the radio series, he’s played Ford Prefect, Deep Thought, a Frogstar robot, the Heart of Gold ventilation system, and a pries...

In a sort-of belated Christmas special, the full panel of Danny, the Jons and Mark watch series 1, episode 1 of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy TV show, and invite you to watch along. The episode is available legally and for free courtesy of archive.org. Cue the episode up, and when you hear Mark count up from three - or is it down from three? - hit Play. Now and again there’ll be a moment to...

Mark Steadman, Jon Hickman and Jon Bounds continue their mission to discuss everything in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy canon, in alphabetical order. As well as the usual affair, we submit to yuletide cheer and discuss Christmas in the Hitchhiker’s universe. Gagrakacka Mind Zones The place Disaster Area come from. In other news, we discuss what a mind zone is. Gail Andrews A famous astrolog...

Mark Steadman, Jon Hickman and Danny Smith continue their mission to discuss everything in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy canon , in alphabetical order. Fortillian Bantoburn O’Perfluous The BarBot of the Starship Titanic, played by Dermot Crowley (from Luther, among other things). In the game, he mixes your character a bizarre cocktail that ends up helping to fix the ship. Here, Danny runs t...

Mark Steadman, Danny Smith and Jon Bounds continue their mission to discuss everything in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy canon , in alphabetical order. Flollop Flolloping is a way of moving that only a matress can do. In a sort-of Meaning of Liff kind of way, I wondered if you two had any similarly onomatopoeic terms for movement. The panel shares their favourite onomatopoeic words. Flying T...

Mark Steadman, Jon Hickman and Jon Bounds continue their mission to discuss everything in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy canon , in alphabetical order. Fire Mountains of Frazfraga We don’t know much about the Fire Mountains of Frazfraga, except that it’s not a hospitable location for a Silastic Armorfiend of Striterax. The panel discusses the most inhospitable places they’ve been to. Five-D...

Mark Steadman, Danny Smith and Jon Hickman continue their mission to discuss everything in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy canon , in alphabetical order. Evildrome Boozarama The Evildrome Boozarama is a bar Ford and Hotblack used to crash, pretending to be health inspectors. Here, Danny and Jon share some stomach-turning foodie tales. Fallian marsh gas When mixing a Pangalactic Gargleblaster,...

In a very sexy episode, Mark Steadman, Danny Smith and Jon Bounds continue their mission to discuss everything in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy canon , in alphabetical order. Enid Kapelsen Enid is an elderly resident of Boston, MA, who, while on a flight one day, flipped up the shutter to see Arthur and Fenchurch checking in on a one-way trip to bone-town, only several thousand feet in the...

Mark Steadman, Jon Hickman and Jon Bounds continue their mission to discuss everything in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy canon , in alphabetical order. Earth Earth is a planet that was destroyed five minutes before the result of the most important experiment in the universe was revealed. The team examines the possibility that we’re living in a simulation, but maybe not a good one. Here’s Jon...

Mark Steadman, Jon Hickman and Danny Smith continue their mission to discuss everything in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy canon , in alphabetical order. Warning: This episode contains lots of swearing and sex talk. Dogs Arthur makes a passing reference to having a dog in the second radio episode, and the first book. So the panel asks “where’s Arthur’s dog?” Dolphins Dolphins are the second m...

Mark Steadman, Jon Bounds and Danny Smith continue their mission to discuss everything in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy canon , in alphabetical order. Definit-Kil photrazon cannon A Vogon weapon, and an excuse for us to talk about firing guns and nihilism. Dentrassis The best cooks and _the _ best drinks mixers, and they don’t give a wet slap about anything else. The team discusses their fa...

Mark Steadman, Jon Hickman and Jon Bounds continue their mission to discuss everything in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy canon , in alphabetical order. Cruxwan University The seat of learning that was attended by Vroomfondel. We discuss whether Cruxwan would be a redbrick uni or a former polytechnic. D’Astragar ‘d’Astragaaar d’Astragar The Maitre d’Bot of the Starship Titanic, voiced by Phil...

Mark Steadman, Jon Hickman and Danny Smith continue their mission to discuss everything in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy canon , in alphabetical order. Colin Colin is a delightful, and constantly delighted little security robot captured by Ford. The team discusses whether such a hack job could work on Marvin. CompuTeach Another computerised device that can also be made happy. The CompuTeach...

Mark Steadman, Danny Smith and Jon Bounds continue their mission to discuss everything in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy canon , in alphabetical order. This episode has some bad language. Campaign for Real Time Danny shares his story of getting his chest waxed at a Twitter-based charity event. Cathedral of Chalesm In memories of this lost cathedral, the team discusses things they’ve lost. Ce...

Mark Steadman, Jon Hickman and Jon Bounds continue their mission to discuss everything in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy canon , in alphabetical order. Brantisvogan A many-faceted place where banking and bureaucracy happens. Also yes, Mark is aware he pronounced amoeboids with a G. That’s how they pronounce it on Brantisvogan. The Frood: The Authorised and Very Official History of Douglas Ad...