A Kettle and Some String

Leaf! Queen of Years! Grandfather! Dave and Joe arrive at the Festival of Offerings on the rings of Akhaten. What will they make of a button moon face, Clara’s leaf and watching this story through the mind of a child?

Doomsday clock! Biochemical trial! Consent! Dave and Jo land in Turmezistan, where the Monks have arrived warning the world is about to end. What will they make of The President of the Earth dreaming, Agrofuel's safety protocols and it's powerful mirroring of the real world?

Siren! Pirate Ship! Captain Avery! Dave and Matt land on a becalmed The Fancy in 1699 . What will they make of an anaesthetic song, a boy hiding in a barrel and an out of sorts Doctor?

Trip of a lifetime! Rose Tyler! London Eye! Dave and Jack land in 2005 and witness the return of a television legend. What will they make of Russell T Davies new vision, plastic Mickey and Christopher Eccleston's modern Doctor?

Bill Potts! Puddle! St Luke's! Dave and Edd are lecturing at a university with a strange vault. What will they make of comical Nardole, negative fandom and the breath of fresh air that is Pearl Mackie?

Movellans! Suicide squad! Logic Impasse! Dave and Jason land on Skaro where the Daleks are looking for someone. What will they make of a new Davros, bunker geography and THAT regeneration?

A change to the scheduled programme - I'm investigating a murder and some gruesome ritual site for P.R.O.B.E and have to do a commentary on arguably it's most famous case. What will I think?

Tricey! Brian! Nefertiti! Dave and Alex land with a gang on an unmanned spaceship full of prehistoric creatures. What will they make of stereotyped actors, Chibnall tropes and Brian's balls?

Dark Eyes! Ohila! Cass! Dave and Melvin look at Paul McGann's era on audio before plunging to Karn to witness The Doctor turn into a warrior. What will they make of Liv Chenka, the divergent universe and flavoured elixir?

Jamie! Culloden! Slave trade! Dave and Dan land in Scotland, 1746 after the battle. What will they make of bitchy Polly, a number of catchphrases and a character who just seems to go arrghh?

Frog! Ribbons! Rubbish dad! Dave and Pete arrive in a Norwegian fjord where a young girl is hiding in her dad’s cottage. What will they make of Bradley Walsh’ emotional acting, Pete as a moth man and the alternatives for ‘your friend’?  

Doomsday weapon! IMC! Adjudicator! Dave and Cliff are taken by the time lords to Uxarieus, 2472, where a conflict over ownership takes place. What will they make of the lack of barbers, various sneaky political intrigues and the Guardian of the city’s residence?

Time Lord Victorious! The Flood! Gadget! Dave and Nathan land on the red planet in 2059, at a very important moment in human history. What will they make of Graeme Harper’s most recent direction, The Doctor wanting to leave and Lindsay Duncan’s Adelaide Brooke?

Shangri-La! Rock N' Roll! Ken Dodd! Dave and Jim land in 1959 Wales for a getting to know you dance. What will they make of the bee man mystery, Chimeron biology and Ray being a companion?

John Smith! Remembrance! Scarecrows! Dave and Mark land in 1913 to hide from a family. What will they make of Smith's handwriting, brilliant Freema and that bloody balloon?

Giant snake! Dark places of the inside! Wise woman! Dave, Dan & Mark land on Deva Loka and encounter some wind chimes. What will they make of a healing box, Aris' dentures and a frustrated 5th Doctor?

Lazarus! The Jones'! Lady Thaw! Dave and Luke attend the demonstration of a rejuvenating machine. What will they make of the comic book style, Gatiss' crack and the marvellous CGI creation?

The Watcher! Pharos Project! Cloister Bell! Dave and Si land on the bypass to measure a Police Box. What will they make of Tegan's immovable hat, magic science and Tom Baker's final curtain?

Older Amy! Handbots! Two streams! Dave and Mark land on Apalapucia during quarantine. What will they make of old age makeup, a facility with no signs and Rory's impossible dilemma?

Madame de Pompadour! Clockwork droids! Time Windows! Dave and Frazer land on a stalking 51st century spaceship. What will they make of The Doctor falling for Reinette, a beautiful score and separating art from an artist?

Plunger! Klade! Dave crash lands on Skaro where Davros is needing a name for his new design. What will he make of the new look Davros and continuity errors?

A change to the scheduled programme - I'm locked in the Torchwood hub with a pterodactyl and some pizza and have to do a commentary on the first episode of the 'adult spin off'. What will I think?

Mannequins! Dandy Doctor! Madame Tussauds! Dave and Hannah land with a new Doctor and some meteorites. What will they make of a popular hospital, ballsy Mrs Seeley and corking cliffhangers?

Time Zombies! Van Baalan! Big friendly button! Dave and Ryan are trapped in an exploding TARDIS. What will they make of the android twist, the unlikely girl and a brain turning to clay time problem?

Paul Darrow! Borad! HG Wells! Dave and Dan travel up a Kontron tunnel to Karfel. What will they make of the script editor, entertaining acting styles and The Doctor body shaming?