Tea Time with Elsa

Chatting about: The Pros and Cons of Distraction… In this episode we talk about why and when I why I teach distraction as a good choice in the relationships with horses. Trainers who have tools to keep a horse from leaving them will sometimes choose to wait through a cycle of concern in the horse, allowing it to pass naturally. Without tools we may, or may not, be able to do that successfully. Pra...

Chatting about: Chatting about: Timing, Technique and Pressure… In this episode we talk about the key factors horse trainers focus on and how we might think about it differently. Originally aired on: September 9th, 2025

Chatting about: Do The Ends Justify The Means… In this episode we talk about the dilemma that all of us face when considering the amount of pressure it might, or might not, be reasonable to put on horses toward an end goal.  Originally aired on: August 12th, 2025

Chatting about: Tell me how you feel… In this episode, we talk about different ways to measure progress with our horses. It is easy to measure progress by taking notice of the tasks that can be accomplished, it is more nuanced and more interesting to me to measure progress by asking horses how they feel in the pauses between activities. Originally aired on: June 17th, 2025

Chatting about: Solving for Better… In this episode, we talk about how we can see an issue that needs to be solved and cut it in half, and in half again until the part we are working on feels set up for success. I recently had some new revelations about how this applies to horses who struggle with the feeling of touch, as well as how it applies to horses who need greater development in either self...

Chatting about: “Emotional Cycles”… In this episode, we talk about seeing the emotional cycles of a horse from moment to moment and using that awareness to better time our active and passive moments. First we watch the horse and learn about their cycles. Then we use our active and passive moments to prove to the horse that we understand them. Then we start timing our active and passive moments bet...

Chatting about: Fear in Horses… In this episode, we talk about understanding a horse’s fear in a categorical way. Their responses will be in either Fight or Flight and they will tend to be in reaction to one of four elements: movement, touch, approach, or sound. Once we can see a horse’s tendencies categorically, we can more easily break down the fear into bite sized pieces that they can learn abo...

Chatting about: Non-Negotiables In this episode, we talk about the Non-Negotiable factor of space between partners if either one feels unsafe. If we cannot create space between partners in the moments that challenge safety we will need to consider using, more pressure, dominant training, or the presence of a fence between horse and human. Freedom of choice comes after we can trust the basic elemen...

Chatting about: “Balanced Gratitude”… In this episode, we talk about how powerful gratitude is in horse training when we use it in a balanced way. Is the glass half full? Half empty? Or Both. I believe that seeing both the good and the difficult aspects of training is profoundly important with our horses. Originally aired on: April 4th, 2025

Chatting about: Pressure, Priorities, and Habits... In this episode, we talk about the balance of priorities with horses and how the development of habits can help us manage the pressure that comes along with life and the juggling of priorities. Originally aired on: March 26th, 2025

Chatting about: Praise… In this episode, we talk about using praise with horses. Why we might choose to, why we might not. The mechanics of developing good associations with praise if you want to use it as part of your relationship and how it might work better for some horses than others. I don’t think there is an absolute for anything with horses, but there are always factors that can be understo...

Chatting about: Enough and Not Enough… In this episode, we talk about a new herd integration with my horses and the timing needed between horses as they learn about each other’s likes and dislikes. Emotional training depends on the understanding of leaving everyone wanting more of the relationship, instead of less of it. I am fascinated by how the emotional training horses do with each other can a...

Chatting about: Environment Matters… In this episode, we talk about how much the environment we are in with our horses always impacts our training. There will always be factors in the environment that raise or lower the horse’s stress levels and we are going to do our most profound training at the mid levels of fully aware (instead of resting), but more curious instead of concerned. Originally air...

Chatting about: Food Aggression… In this episode, we talk about a different perspective around food aggression in horses. Many people believe food aggression is about resource guarding, or trying to get the other horses to leave. These things may be true, but I have noticed a few different things about it that are far more helpful to me in understanding and supporting my horses in living their bes...

Chatting about: Creativity… In this episode, we talk about creativity and anxiety being on a spectrum and how the two can not exist simultaneously. To be creative is to try things, assess, and try again. When you draw a picture, you draw a line, and then another line, and try one thing after another towards an end goal developed through experimentation. Horses can also learn this pattern of creati...

Chatting about: Trusting Yourself… In this episode, we talk about trusting ourselves in horse training. Most everyone has instincts or ideas about what they might want to do next. Then the question comes up, is that a good idea or a bad idea? I suggest you try it and find out. Trust your idea, then verify if the trust was warranted and adjust. This perpetually hones your future instincts to be bet...

Chatting about: Time Matters… In this episode, we talk about the time we spend “doing” with our horses versus “being” with our horses. There are so many practical things that need to be done with horses to keep them healthy and happy that sometimes we run out of time for the things that feed the soul. Even taking five minutes of BEING with horses in a way that values how they feel, and how we feel...

Chatting about: The Eternal Student… In this episode, we talk about being a student of the horses and about studying patterns, habits, and cycles. When we come at learning from the position of learning with each other more than we are learning from each other the world opens up with possibilities.  Originally aired on: January 1st, 2025

Chatting about: Finding Light, Playing With Darkness… In this episode, we talk about the good and the bad, the light and the dark, the awake and the resting times, and how everything exists on a spectrum. Where we place our attention perpetuates behaviors in our horses, and because of that, we are going to place our attention more on the good, the light, and the awake times. The bad, the dark, and...

Chatting about: Using Your Powers For Good Or Evil… In this episode, we talk about the enormous amount of power we have in relationships due to the quantity of small responses we give in a million little moments. Horses tend to remember behaviors that trigger a feeling response in themselves and a change in behavior in others. Horses repeat what they remember. We have so much power to help them re...

Chatting about: A Question Worth Asking… In this episode, we talk about how Relationships are made up of questions and answers. Sometimes, it can feel like life is just a series of problems to be solved, but when our patterns of stress come down to a reasonable level, those "problems" become simply questions worth answering. If we organize our questions to our horses in a way that focuses on thing...

Chatting about: How Horses Ask For Connection… In this episode, we talk about how connection is made up of a series of actions showing how well a partner is known and understood. Horses ask for connection (ask to be known and understood better) by breaking harmony, either through push or pull. As humans we can choose to see that push or pull for the ask it is or we can punish the request for conne...

Chatting about: Ripples of Response... In this episode, we talk about how to see the ripples of response within a herd of horses and how we can become part of these ripples. When a horse changes focus from one thing to another, their herd instinct wants someone else to notice also. If there is no response, there may be an escalation in stress and more obvious push or pull behaviors. When stress go...

Chatting about: Attention Replaces Pressure… In this episode, we talk about a horse's need to be recognized as an individual can be used quite practically to replace needs for pressure in the relationship. While we will always use pressure to navigate safety situations, there are many many interactions with horses that do not have a safety component. When we find ways to physically show them we un...

Chatting about: Interested in What Is, More Than What You Want… In this episode we talk about stress. What is too much stress, what is not enough stress and how being aware of what is currently being experienced may be more important for a time than trying to change it. Originally aired on: November 14th, 2024