Omnibus

In which one of the most hapless teams in NBA history has a rebranding brainstorm, and John is mistaken about Jesus riding a dinosaur. Certificate #27789.

In which one of America's most historic warehouse districts is threatened by urban renewal, and Ken wants only the best rutabagas in his body. Certificate #48481.

In which an achingly innocent, gentle, and earnest new aesthetic spawns a decade of music, art, bangs, and Etsy stores, and John has forgotten every band except Kajagoogoo. Certificate #16065.

In which a taxonomy of five simple French recipes are used to define haute cuisine for generations, and Ken wants noodles named for Drake. Certificate #48504.

In which a Broadway legend retools a Depression-era endurance contest into a thrilling contact sport, and John wants Portland to succeed. Certificate #26834.

In which a crippling power outage strikes New York City during the worst summer in its history, and Ken receives strange wisdom from Nikola Tesla's severed head. Certificate #50165.

In which fake news from the Spanish-American War inspires a self-proclaimed socialist to write a pro-employer business classic, and John believes sadness can sink ships. Certificate #42914.

In which long-simmering resentments over the Falklands War boil over on the soccer pitch, and Ken thinks that Margaret Thatcher was actually a giant marionette. Certificate #38221.

In which a discredited pseudoscience from the 1980s makes a modern resurgence in the autism community, and John never wants to hear a second record by one of his favorite bands. Certificate #25222.

In which the waste byproducts of smelting iron become an annoyance and then a hotly contested resource, and Ken wants some aquarium gravel. Certificate #24789.

In which the worst naval accident in U.S. government history almost kills a president but inspires romance instead, and John doesn't love the coquetteish head-tilting in old photos. Certificate #52488.

In which the indigenous people of the Columbia River Plateau breed a new horse with a "leopard complex," and Ken notes you can't milk an emu. Certificate #36454.

In which a great American futurist spends decades experimentally recording his own personal data every fifteen minutes, and John wants to know if Ken is a good kisser. Certificate #49146.

In which figure skating produces the biggest movie star in the world and then a half-century of traveling live entertainment, and Ken believes in promoting peanut vendors. Certificate #43376.

In which some tail-wagging strays become mascots on the frontlines of social protest, and John has an idea for treating arthritic cows. Certificate #53229.

In which a proud Norwegian sea captain decides to one-up the fleet of Spanish boats at the Chicago World's Fair, and Ken wonders how well Elvis knew Nixon. Certificate #21995.

In which an American rocketry pioneer gets over a breakup by trying to summon an ancient sex goddess into our dimension, and John has a modest proposal on school prayer. Certificate #36297.

In which the biggest segment of America's entertainment economy almost disappears in a single year due to lousy product, and Ken is too shy to play Zaxxon in public. Certificate #24180.

In which a great Victorian master of nonsense creates a world of riddles that aren't really riddles, and John thinks a roast chicken has definitely caused a murder. Certificate #35725.

In which the history of water mattresses is traced from ancient goatskins up to 1970s hedonism and even science fiction, and Ken's bed is not moving his butt. Certificate #40450.

In which a series of questionable legends about premature burial lead to an inventors' boom of escapable caskets, and John has been handcuffed at least seven times. Certificate #35676.

In which a surprisingly broad spectrum of conspiracists discovers a secret set of rules for outsmarting the U.S. government, and Ken wishes some of his enemies could be flogged more. Certificate #29113.

In which an upstart media mogul hatches a plan with Moscow to challenge the Olympics and end the Cold War, and John looks for the sexiest pictures of a former First Lady. Certificate #21182.

In which brave souls from Siberia to Zimbabwe try riding and milking some rarely domesticated animals, with mixed results, and Ken wants to put a newborn baby on an ostrich. Certificate #52260.

In which one low-budget action flick forever rewrites the rules of how movies are marketed, and John thinks Spider-Man's aunt is the only real movie star. Certificate #33734.