Nuzzle House

We learn: FUUUUUCK Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781948316439 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/nuzzle-house/dd04...

We learn: I guess a woman’s worth is based on if they look classy or not I’m just waiting for this book to go south so I can drop it and move on Apparently the height of a women matters- unless she’s hot. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781948316439 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for g...

We learn: I’m an artist that likes to sit around and listen to his own stuff I can’t wait to get rid of these sweaty pumpkins Thank god we don’t need poetry anymore Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-raven-edgar-allen-poe/6603490?ean=9781941667132 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their t...

We learn: If you live somewhere with a pronunciation that is complicated- don’t live there I’m drinking a cursed white claw I guess you can create the perfect crime- that your kids can watch? Go on, read it for yourself: https://baki.cc Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/...

We learn: Don’t hike with someone who uses you as bear food I kinda didn’t like that I was reading some of this in a ‘funny voice’ Nature doesn’t care if you’re in love Go on, read it for yourself: https://baki.cc Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house Send us yo...

We learn: You never have to stop flirting with chicks- even if they’re dead My wet pumpkins are back Just because you shoot someone in the head, it doesn’t mean they’re dead yet. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-ghost-stories-of-ambrose-bierce-ambrose-bierce/10656164?ean=9781515427995 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support...

We learn: I didn’t know you could ‘bury someone in space’ by just ejecting them into space I got bees in my house Apparently women’s legs can ‘twinkle’ Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/books?affiliate=12554&keywords= Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.co...

We learn: I hate that this author doesn’t think very highly of women I hate that our protagonist is horny all the time I hate that none of the characters have an opinion on this flower beyond “It’s unfortunate about the addiction” Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781948316439 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bed...

We learn: Just like a YouTuber, if you kill 33 people you can just apologize and get back to work Apparently a ‘spacer’ is a spaceship. I’m really hoping this book doesn’t normalize this sexual assault flower like Bill Cosby’s comedy routines did for the ‘Spanish fly’ in the 1970s Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781...

We learn: Just because something is short and punchy- doesn’t mean it’s good Maybe the author was only given 8 pages to write so this wasn’t their fault? I’m going to become a sweaty pig at the state fair tomorrow Go on, read it for yourself:  https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/70148 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to...

We learn: My wife sings along to ‘that thing you do’ movie- which is a solid 2 hours of singing the same song over, and over. Go on, read it for yourself:  https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/74226 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house Send us your feedback online:...

We've decided to call this: 'The Afternoon of the Cursing at the Grocery Store of the Cat People' We read the story about a man who LOVES Garfield. Listen Anywhere: https://gestating-the-curious-mind.pinecast.co Paranormal smut novels for the discerning reader. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house Send us your feedback online: https://pi...

We learn: My science fiction was horse shit I’m not smart enough to understand this story I pee a lot and it’s FINE Go on, read it for yourself:  https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/74205 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house Send us your feedback online: https://p...

We learn: Drac and I are roughly the same age If you’re on a revenge spree- feel free to skip over people who aren’t as important Don’t be an elitist- flash fiction is FINE Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/31-horrifying-tales-from-the-dead/9781540800541 Visit  https://www.nuzzlehouse.com  for show info. Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. About Drac! Drac Von Stolle...

We learn: Anderson wasn’t a pervert- he was FINE Children's stories have kids suffering to the point of absurdity The pig was from hell Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-fairy-tales-of-hans-christian-andersen-hans-christian-andersen/7147043?ean=9781515401339 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributi...

We learn: I’ll never see Nates (from words about books) beautiful face Cowboys are also called “Cow-punchers” for some reason Cowboy sleuths always know who did the crime, they just let the guilty simmer in their guilt. Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/pioneer-cattlemen-in-montana-the-story-of-the-circle-c-ranch-walt-coburn/11193951?ean=9780806142081 Listen anywhere: nuzz...

We learn: Sometimes, Whiteclaws are disgusting Things can work out for the best- if you’re a doll Apparently theater kids are the most dangerous kids on earth Go on, read it for yourself:  ** https://www.amazon.com/Little-Wooden-Margery-Williams-Bianco-ebook/dp/B0D13P7DZ1** Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their t...

We learn: You can catch a robot with good ‘ol fashioned sleuthing Saying “I don’t care how late it is” is an American tradition Yes, I take breaks from reading to watch TikTok Go on, read it for yourself:  https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/68377 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast....

We brainstormed a story about a man who LOVES Garfield. Listen Anywhere: https://nuzzlehouse.com Paranormal smut writing for the discerning reader. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/nuzzle-house/b50dcd7b-fe48-4458-a6da-6b893c4f1f87

We learn: Pirates will always be fun-loving little scamps There’s a Long Johns Silver’s open by me that I will go to now In this story Tom Hanks will always be miserable? Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/treasure-island-unabridged-and-fully-illustrated-robert-louis-stevenson/14650478?ean=9781789431032 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grow...

We learn: Long John Silver is a smooth talking jerk I’m SUPPOSED to be on a PLANE I didn’t know you could use a corpse as a compass Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/treasure-island-unabridged-and-fully-illustrated-robert-louis-stevenson/14650478?ean=9781789431032 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contribu...

We learn: Little boys can become big boys thanks to pirates I JUST want to swim in my white-trash pool Long John Silver is back at it Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/treasure-island-unabridged-and-fully-illustrated-robert-louis-stevenson/14650478?ean=9781789431032 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contri...

We learn: When you’ve been cleaning up blood all day, you want something different I’m going to get you go like my basement someday I don’t know if cutting the ship free is the smartest idea ever Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/treasure-island-unabridged-and-fully-illustrated-robert-louis-stevenson/14650478?ean=9781789431032 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime s...

We learn: Action scenes back then were really weird I have no idea what holiday I’m celebrating tomorrow If your friend dies, just roll his body over to the corner of the room. it’s FINE. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/treasure-island-unabridged-and-fully-illustrated-robert-louis-stevenson/14650478?ean=9781789431032 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story rea...

We learn: It’s storming out and I’m recording with the windows open, I don’t care if it sounds bad Our hero doesn’t tolerate the homeless Silver is the master of the ‘dangerous crutch’ technique Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/treasure-island-unabridged-and-fully-illustrated-robert-louis-stevenson/14650478?ean=9781789431032 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime st...