No Lions Here

 Even when things are going well I need to remember that I am an addict and that the addict inside of me is always ready and willing to show his ugly face. If anyone would like to reach out please feel free to email me at Nolionshere.com.

 Patricia and I catch up. I learn a lesson: life happens while we are busy making grandiose plans for it.

In this episode I dig into my childhood and relive a memory that I have normalized over the years. I also talk about the one substance that I am still using.

I come clean about my most recent relapse. I back track to figure out where things went wrong and what I can do going forward to tighten things up. Everything is a learning experience, and for me things are a slow burn.

 Big Ticket and I discuss the struggles of his long distance relationship on top of being in recovery, and going public with our stories.

 I welcome my first ever guest to the show. Big ticket is a guy who I met through doing meetings on zoom. We both got into the program around the same time, and had an instant connection. We reflect on our time in the program and discuss the problem with porn and how porn as affected our lives.

In episode 4 I talk early days of treatment and the moment I realized that I am not a bad person, and how I used a very important tool that I learned while I was there and forgot about.

 There are always off ramps that I can take to get me out of my addiction cycle. It’s important to remember that even after I act out or use that those off ramps are always there. In this episode I physically and metaphorically turn the car around.

In episode 2 I revisit the first couple days in treatment and read some journal entries, as well as getting current with where I’m at.

My name is Big Panda and I’m a recovering sex addict. This is my journey of recovery, come with me as I share my experience, strength and hope. Episode 1 I discuss the rock bottom that I had to hit that got me into recovery.