The Work Behind the Vows

Filtered love isn’t real—it’s a curated experience for show. In this episode, Words and Julanda break down how social media creates unrealistic expectations and how those expectations quietly impact real marriages. They explore: The difference between real love and curated “highlight reel” love How comparison steals joy, gratitude, and contentment Why social media often shows practiced, posed, or...

Marriage doesn’t heal your misaligned parts. It magnifies them. In this episode of The Work Before The Vows , we break down the practical blueprint for doing the real work required to build and sustain a healthy marriage. In this episode, we discuss: • Self-work before and during marriage • Maintaining identity while becoming one • Therapy, prayer, journaling, and healthy routines • Partner work a...

Attraction doesn’t disappear—it evolves. In this episode, Words and Julanda explore how healing reshapes desire, intimacy, and connection over time, and why seeing your spouse through healed eyes changes everything. They explore: How attraction has changed over 16 years of marriage Why healed intimacy looks different than unhealed intimacy How emotional safety becomes deeply attractive Why curiosi...

The roommate season doesn’t usually start with conflict. It often starts with silence. In this episode, Words and Julanda talk through how emotional distance forms when communication stops, offenses go unspoken, and expectations are never clarified. They explore: How stress and survival mode push spouses into parallel lives Why unspoken offenses create resentment How unspoken expectations guarante...

Disconnection doesn’t always come from one big betrayal. Sometimes, it’s the “small” habits that quietly pull your heart away. In this episode, Words and Julanda talk about porn, comparison, and emotional clutter as real connection killers that often start subtle… and end with resentment steering the whole marriage. They explore: How porn can open the door to lust, comparison, and discontentment W...

Attraction doesn’t just disappear—it fades when the things that spark connection get neglected. In this episode, Words and Julanda challenge the idea that attraction is purely physical and name the subtle ways distance builds inside even committed marriages. They explore: Redefining attraction beyond sex and physical chemistry Why disconnection often masquerades as “lost attraction” How resentment...

Entrepreneurship doesn’t just test business strategy. It tests marriages. In this episode, Words and Julanda walk through the long road from creativity and passion projects to building a sustainable business that could support their family. They explore: How early creative work evolved into entrepreneurship The cost of chasing vision without structure Why financial instability fuels fear-driven hu...

Parenthood brings joy, but it also brings pressure. In this episode, Words and Julanda get honest about how having kids reshaped their marriage in ways they never anticipated, from infertility struggles to the emotional weight of raising children in a complex world. They explore: The pressure couples face when trying to conceive How infertility and delayed pregnancy impact emotional health The str...

Marriage exposes everything, including communication patterns, conflict styles, unhealed trauma, and expectations we didn’t know we were carrying. In this episode, Words and Julanda walk through how their marriage was shaped by both joy and pressure, especially in the early years. They explore: Why the first few years of marriage can feel especially intense How communication styles can escalate or...

The college years are where independence sharpens and identity takes shape. In this episode, Words and Julanda break down how personal growth, ambition, and self-discovery during this season influence attraction, expectations, and partnership long after graduation. They explore: How identity development impacts relationship dynamics The role ambition plays in attraction and compatibility Why growt...

Every marriage has a backstory—and most couples never talk about it out loud. In this act, Words and Julanda go back to childhood to explain how early environments shape the way we love, fight, forgive, and connect as adults. They explore: Why they’re having these conversations now—and why they believe marriages must be reclaimed What “The Work Behind The Vows” really means beyond the highlight re...