The Overwhelmed Brain

Have you ever felt alone in your struggles? It's hard to imagine anyone else dealing with the same thing. Yet, there are many. And I receive a lot of messages from people that reinforce that. How does that help you? There might be something bigger at play here. Also, I talk about a message I received from someone who feels very alone in her relationship. Her partner just doesn't seem to want to in...

I watched a recent Ted Talk with Dr. Judson Brewer who teaches mindfulness to cure addictions. I was surprised to learn that I actually did the process he talks about to cure my addiction to sugar many years ago. I share that story and what you can do to use mindfulness to help you feel better in almost any situation, whether it's a craving or a negative emotion. For the Ask Paul segment, I read a...

I got nervous when I was invited to speak on a world record breaking authority summit... but I did it anyway. But why was I nervous? I host a show that thousands listen to every week, so why is it different? When there's no Edit button, things get real. But that's a good thing because when you're absolutely real, even when you're nervous, you end submitting to the person you really are. If you're...

It's an Ask Paul marathon! First, I'll talk about how bullies love when you react negatively and what to do to squash the energy behind their bullying. This is from a letter from a kid who got bullied in school and was humiliated to the point where he didn't want to go back. Adopting a "who cares?" attitude can be very helpful in situations like this! Second, I talk about someone with an irrationa...

The quest for happiness and staying positive is fraught with sadness and negativity, yet the existence of those things is exactly what it takes to experience the totality of a fulfilling life. You can't always be happy, and you wouldn't even know what happiness is if you didn't have the contrast of sadness. At the same time, if your life is full of hardship and pain, maybe happiness never arrives....

Getting into an abusive relationship is a quick path to a horrible future. Getting into a great relationship however can seem like the best thing that ever happened... unless they cheat, then it feels like an abusive relationship, sometimes. If you decide to stay in a relationship where you know infidelity is happening, are you being abused or are you abusing yourself? There's a mindset that kicks...

Metaphysical malpractice was a term I was unfamiliar with until a friend of mine mentioned to me how a few metaphysical teachers were incongruent in their teachings. They say and teach one thing, but behave an entirely different way in their personal lives. I have some comments on that I share in today's episode. In Ask Paul, I answer an email from someone who is having trouble keeping her cool at...

Childhood is one of those times that many of us wanted to enjoy, but simply couldn't. Some of us had to suffer because of a dysfunctional upbringing, which caused us to create false beliefs about the world when we turned into adults. These beliefs ruined jobs and relationships, and caused us to question our lives by saying, "Is this all there is? Is this all I have to look forward to for the rest...

There's a reason we run into obstacles that stop us from getting what we want in life, and that has to do with what we are aligned with most at a deeper, unconscious level. When we are out of alignment with that, we fall off course and things fall apart. Today I give you a quote, well really a question, to stick on your refrigerator, cubicle wall, bathroom mirror and everywhere else you'll see it...

Henrik Ibsen said that "Home life ceases to be free and beautiful as soon as it is founded on borrowing and debt." When I was in my first long-term relationship, I wanted to get married, and fortunately, so did she! However, I said we'll get married as soon as we're both out of debt. The next 6 years of being engaged and not being married really made it clear what my priorities were in love, money...

If you're a "yes person", you find yourself saying "Yes" to others. However, what you're really doing is saying "No" to yourself. Doing this causes you to reach burn out after a number of years. You get jaded by friends and family taking advantage of your "generosity", all because you're too nice to say no. There's a way out of this, and it will take baby steps, but it's time to gain some empowerm...

There are jerks in our lives, at least that's what we tend to call them sometimes, that just never stop getting on our nerves. We hope they act differently, but they never change their ways. Is there anything we can do? Well, we can open our hearts and see what happens. Scary thought! And why would we want to open our hearts to someone who acts so badly toward us? Find out in this episode. Also, i...

How can you live with chronic pain? How do you get through the suffering? Is there a path to freedom or is it a never-ending event that will plague you for the rest of your life? Also, in the Ask Paul segment, I receive a letter from a gay man in his 40s suffering from a deep depression who cannot get a good night's sleep and hasn't "come out" to show the world the way he truly wants to live and w...

We all have a snapping snapping point and it can change our world when it happens. I remember the first time I stood up for myself. I was 10. We had just finished wrestling, as boys tend to do, and I was done... but he wasn't. I sat at the table, tired and really not interested in wrestling anymore. And he kept saying, "Come on, let's wrestle some more." I was like, "Nope, I'm done. Too tired, don...

Brene Brown said it so eloquently: "Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others."Many years ago, I remember having to disappoint my bosses during my one year anniversary. They brought me in for my evaluation, gave me a promotion, praised me for the amazing work I'd been doing over the past year, were excited about where I was going...

So much of our emotional pain that doesn't get expressed can turn into actual physical ailments that won't go away until those emotions are expressed and released. Sometimes the damage can be permanent and we'll need to seek medical attention, and other times the healing starts right away. One thing for sure, you start healing when you start expressing. In today's Ask Paul segment, a woman is stil...

With bombings, shootings and other terrorism going on, how can you find peace and see the world as a better place. The news sensationalizes the bad but never glorifies the good. It's okay to feel okay, and I'll tell you why in this episode. Also, I receive a listener email that talks about wanting to save her relationship after a big move. She moved away, then he moved down to be with her, then th...

What do you say when someone tells you they want to commit suicide? Do you rush them to the police hoping that they will help them? Do you sit with them and really listen to what they're saying so that they know they are being heard and not pushed on to someone else? Is there a real answer? Is there a right answer? So many people consider it, and so few people talk about it. I received a letter fr...

How bad can your panic and anxiety get? I had one panic attack in my life and it was at that moment a part of me died, opening up a new way of being. Nothing like panicking in the desert, having no money, a broken car, and losing the car and everything in it to set off an anxiety attack. The worst possible scenario was unfolding and I had to either accept and live with the consequences, or not acc...

There's a parable that reminds us that there are two wolves inside us all. One is evil (anger, jealousy, greed and resentment). The other is good (joy, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and bravery). The question is, which one wins? At least, that's what Eric Zimmer of The One You Feed podcast likes to ask his guests on every episode of his show. I brought Eric on today to talk about his sho...

Bad habits can be hard to change or moderate, but there are small steps you can take to make it easier to change a bad habit into a good one, or at least, a little less "bad". Also, I received an email with a heartwarming story of inspiration where someone finally realized she had a choice - and she made that choice! It was empowering and needs to be heard by anyone who feels there's no hope for t...

Our emotions are attached to our memories. Our memories are attached to people and stuff. It's that stuff that we hold on to that sometimes makes us feel bad, so why do we still have it in our lives? Pictures are a great example of this. Why keep pictures that make you feel bad? Also, in any relationship, the role of masculine is typically played by one person and the role of feminine is played by...

Stepping out of the details so that you can see a bigger picture is one of the best ways to end an argument. When you "chunk up" into a broader perspective instead of staying "chunked down" and embroiled in the details, you're able to step out of all the negative emotional energy about the situation. For the Ask Paul segment, a listener who just graduated college wrote and asked about honoring his...

Your self-worth starts when you interpret what your parents or caretakers think about you. If you interpret that they don't value you, you don't value yourself. As the years go by, your self-esteem builds from your level of self-worth. If you have low self-worth as a child, you have low self-esteem as an adult. It's time to rebuild both so that you don't have so much fear and insecurity in your li...

Self compassion is what you have for yourself when you stop being overly giving. And fearing happiness is another issue I talk about after receiving an email from someone who seems to have the perfect life. These two subjects go hand in hand, and really come down to a way of honoring yourself like you've never done before.