The Overwhelmed Brain

Do you value what your partner values? If not, you may be in for a rude awakening when they suddenly get upset with you for seemingly no reason. What's important to you may not be important to them, and vice versa, but it might be a good idea to make it important to you since your relationship's longevity may depend on it.

1. How do you handle "no"? Do you suffer hoping the other person would follow you to the ends of the earth, or do you welcome the opportunity to be free of someone that didn't want to be with you? 2. How much of your emotions need your logic? How about your logic needing your emotions? Is it time to be fully unified? 3. A listener asks why they left if they loved. It's not always black and white -...

1. Asking yourself stupid questions may be the path to healing and moving through the hard stuff in your life. We often have choices when it appears we don't - stupid questions may lead to more choices. 2. Sociopathic people in the workplace and at home can be extremely difficult to deal with. I give you one effective method of doing so. 3. In codependence, there is usually a giver and a taker. I'...

Letting go of a narcissistic parent can seem like cutting off a limb to some people, but what happens right after the moment you make the decision to cut them out of your life? Matthew Bivens of the Having it A.L.L. podcast joins me today to discuss this very thing.

1. Race, culture and background can dictate personality and behavior. A listener writes in and asks how to get along with almost everyone. 2. A woman asks if I have any words of wisdom for her regarding a drifting marriage and isolation from family. 3. If you really want to stretch your mind, meet in person, not online. Make real connections.

Getting into alignment with a career you want is a whole lot more fulfilling then trudging through each day trying to make the career you're in work. I talk with Scott Barlow, a regular of The Overwhelmed Brain, on finding work that fits and creating the kind of happiness in your life that you can actually get paid for. visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/htyc

1. The addict has a different perspective of the world according to a recovering addict that writes in to the show. 2. We're told that suffering is optional. I make an argument against and for it. 3. Every judgment you have is a lack of acceptance in you. I help a listener understand his options when it comes to judging his girlfriend

1. Resolving issues before New Year's resolutions is a better practice for some people. If you have trouble keeping your resolutions, perhaps it's time to change when you make them. 2. A listener writes in and wonders if she is toxic like her boyfriend's ex's or if he is the common denominator. 3. Is free will really free? This philosophical perspective may start the new year off with many questio...

1. Is it hard for you or your partner to say I love you? Sometimes the past can play an important role to prevent or encourage those words to come out of someone's mouth. If the love is there but the words aren't, it doesn't always mean there is no love. 2. When you think about how you treated your ex, do you feel guilty? If so, this segment will help you cope and perhaps even get over the guilt s...

1. Are you a chameleon? Do you change as needed for every person and situation? If so, is it really serving you? 2. If someone has ever hurt you so that you would let them go, this segment may tell you why. Fear of your reaction is usually the cause but there are others. 3. Speaking of reactions, what do you do with friends and family that are aggressive or explosive? Do you invite them to the wed...

If your partner's family is against you and your partner sides with them, what do you do? When you can't feel safe in your own relationship because your partner's priority is his or her own family, you may have some hard choices to make. An emotionally intelligent conversation between Matthew Bivens and I on this special episode of The Overwhelmed Brain.

1 She caught her husband cheating, he blamed her and her family for the affair. He used to be loving and supportive. Now that he can't get his way, he is cold and manipulative. 2 She wants her ex back but all he wants is sex. She complies but feels empty and lonely without him. Now that she has healed from her past and doing better, he still won't come back. 3 When your intuition kicks in, it's im...

When you find out a lie that your partner has been holding on to for months or years, where does that leave the relationship? What if it's a minor lie and your relationship has been going great? Or what if it's a massive lie that you cannot get past? Matthew Bivens of the Having it A.L.L. podcast joins me to answer an email on this very subject in this special mid-week episode of TOB.

1. Do you attract the worst partners? What does it take to find a normal person to date? There is a path to attracting quality partners but it may involve facing your fear of loss. 2. If you feel bad for your emotional abuser or manipulator, you are more likely to stay in the relationship and take the abuse. I'll tell you what you need to focus on so the abuse stops 3. When did "trying" things tur...

Do you fantasize, daydream, play video games, or watch TV in hopes that you won't have to deal with reality? It's not all bad, but anything in moderation, right? I talk about the benefits of skipping reality for a little bit as long as you connect with yourself in other ways. For segment two, I go over what you might have to do with your kids when you have a narcissistic ex. During the close, I ta...

Black or white thinking can lead you to be untrusting of people and the world in general. If you've loved and lost and cannot figure out how to love as deeply as you once did, it could be a general distrust you carry around - seeing people as either safe or not safe. If you cannot be vulnerable, a difficult thing to achieve after pain or betrayal, you may not be able to rebuild the emptiness in yo...

Do you freeze when you get stressed? Learn what you can do to stop the freeze before it happens. What didn't work in your last relationship that you can take with you into your next one? These questions will help you become wise for the future. If you suffered a breakup and you feel that emptiness inside, you may have a hole in your heart that needs to be filled. I'll help you start to rebuild wha...

Why don't abuse victims leave the relationship? In this first segment I talk about the perspective of the abuse victim and no matter how much sense it makes to us for them to leave the abuser, it's an entirely different reality for the victim. In segment two I tackle the dynamics of step-children and how step-parents can enter a family and be more of a friend than a parent to gain trust and respec...

If you've had ups and downs with your relationship and you're ready to keep it on track so it doesn't start slipping back down, I'll tell you ten steps you can take to make sure it stays healthy and continues to blossom.

Stonewalling is damaging to a relationship and can make it fail if whatever is shut down is never brought up to be resolved. Do you set expectations in your friendships? Should friendships be an equal, two-way street? It doesn't have to be - not exactly. Is there a way to get into healthy relationships after being in emotionally abusive ones? Very important question. What's the best way to connect...

The more you expose yourself to new things, the smarter you get and the more your thought processes change. Why does one abuse? This important segment will help you understand the perspective of the one who abuses. How can you enjoy your relationship if you can't stop thinking it may fail in the future? Worries about tomorrow can make the present feel not as good as it should. Everything is tempor...

When you feel guilty for wanting to leave your partner because of their bad behavior, it's time to transform that guilt into something more productive. What happens when you lose a parent and the one left behind wants to date again? Is this something you support or are vehemently against? Do you live with someone taking advantage of you? Are you their doormat hoping they'll change some day? Maybe...

Positive thinking leads to denial which creates negative emotions in your body eventually leading to depression. What?? Sounds like a great first topic. Little spats in a relationship that lead to massive blowups have an origin. The unspoken words are what cause those big explosions. It's time to connect emotionally rather than logically to diffuse the emotional bombs before they explode. What is...

Mom criticizes her, makes her feel bad and unworthy, yet this listener still wants a relationship with her. Do you let go or do you find a way to relate that won't be toxic to you? What happens when there are early warning signs in your relationship but you choose to ignore them? Are they signs of worse things to come or can you overlook them and expect your relationship to get better? Do you chan...

When you are so knowledgeable about your problems, you may have a tendency to be closed off to the solution. The "I know" syndrome can keep you from finding out the root of your emotional distress. It's time to get to the root and release the grip it has on you. When your partner can't seem to trust you completely and holds back their emotions around you, there is something you can do to meet them...