Smersh Pod

Hello and welcome to SMERSHPOD, I’m your host John Rain. This time for another of our extra special compilation episodes where we’ve taken the very best parts of SMERSHes gone by, edited them together, realised it’s only 3 minutes long, and then sifted through the bin to see how we can bulk out the running time.  Today we’re opening up the 2023 SMERSH vault. Over the next 45 minutes you’ll be...

Welcome to another ChirstSMERSH special.  This week we’ll be really getting into the spirit of Christmas by letting a child eat his own weight in chocolate, giving life lessons to an old man, and making some parents feel like utter sh*t. Yes, it’s Home Alone. Joining me to make some bandits wet is Tom Burgess Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’ll be finding out just what happens when awful, unscrupulous people take over an airline and cause nothing but fear, panic, terror and chaos, and I’m not talking about Ryanair.  Yes, it’s Die Hard 2 Joining me to do nude karate while ensuring that his seat is back and his folding trays are in their full upright position, is Paul Gannon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.c...

This week we’ll be looking for true love, lost fathers and six fingers, but enough about those Andre the Giant rumours.  Yes, it’s The Princess Bride.  Joining me to read a story to a cancelled child, are Tom Neenan and Tom Crowley. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

An archive classic all the way from 2017! Grab a massive glass of Advocaat, down it in one and then pour another: it's the first of three Christmas Smershpod specials! Kicking us off, it's Richard Curtis's 2003 romantic-comedy Love Actually. John is joined by the thoroughly brilliant Guardian TV critic Julia Raeside. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a Christsmersh Special! This week we’ll be having no sympathy for the devil, thank you very much, as we try and stop the very worst form of the Millennium Bug - Satan himself.  Yes, it’s End of Days. Joining me to link hands, sing Auld Lang Syne and fall on his own sword is Dan Thomas.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A dip into the archive sack for a Christmas special from 2017! Sit astride your robot reindeer for a never-ending eternal night-flight through 1985's  Santa Claus: The Movie . To discuss all things festive and flawed, John is joined by celebrated TV writer and Smershpod fave Nat Tapley Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’ll be logging in at the ministry and ensuring that all correct paperwork is signed and processed, while maintaining civilised standards of terrorist eradication, all while wearing the correct suit. Yes, it’s Brazil.  And In keeping with the rigid parameters set by the powers that be, we will be making sure that all procedures are followed and any mistakes eradicated before commen...

Welcome to another Jurassic Smersh Pod! This week we’ll be going back to the island to find out if it’s a good idea to open a theme park on the site of a major disaster that killed many people. Yes it’s Jurassic World. And joining me to complete the trilogy and get a megasorearse, is David Hoare.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’ll be finding out what happens if you take Last of the Summer Wine and mix it with equal parts Porkies and late stage Top Gear.  Yes, it’s Dirty Grandpa. Joining me to ask What’s up now BRA??, is comedy writer and performer Madeleine Brettingham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to another Star Trek Special. This week we’ll be taking the absolute peace, and watching on as art imitates life and we witness the slow, sad breakdown of a once mighty force, and I’m not just talking about William Shatner’s wig.  They’ll be intrigue, espionage, explosions, and Kirk getting off with a giant sexy bear.  Yes, it’s Star Trek 6: The Undiscovered Country.  Joinin...

Welcome to Smersh Pod. This week we’ll be recounting the beautiful story of when a small person arrived and touched the World, no it’s not a biopic of Wee Jimmy Krankie. It’s E.T. Joining me to poke things with his glowing digit, is Steve Hall.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Stephen Graham and I will be donning our leather pants and turning up our shirt cuffs as the archetypal adventure author, Jason King, as he investigates 'A Page Before Dying.’ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’ll be hanging out with a young burglar, an old spy, a angry fugitive, a fat delinquent, a blind hippy hacker, and a milfy piano teacher... and guessing which one of them dies first.  The result will shock you. Yes, it’s Sneakers. My name is John Rain, and joining me to watch with Mother, a film that could now literally just be an email, is Richard Asplin.  Hosted on Aca...

Welcome to another Halloween Special. This week we’ll voicing concerns and saving face, while asking nine doctors for second opinions, and also working on playing a very impressive angry red organ.  Yes, it’s The Abominable Dr. Phibes Joining me to exit pursued by a Trout, is John Thomson.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to another Halloween special. This week we’ll be settling into a cozy train carriage to begin a package deal holiday with a difference. There’ll be luscious full moon vistas, beautiful greenery, captivating music, views to die for, and a big stiff one on honeymoon. Yes, it’s Dr. Terror's House of Horrors Joining me to let the cards fall where they may, is Anna Savory.  Hoste...

Welcome to another Halloween Special. This week we’ll be heading down south for a spot of chess, a hot dog or two, and to find out just what used to happen when Windows got infected.  Yes, It’s John Carpenter’s The Thing Joining me to spend the rest of this winter tied to a couch, is Toby Hadoke.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a SMERSH POD Halloween Special.  This week we’ll be getting dolled up and chatting to the man downstairs in order to find out just who is making the creepiest dolls since the Crinkly Bottom gift shop closed.  Yes, it’s Longlegs! And joining me to give a restrained and dignified performance in the spirit of the film, is Sarah Morgan.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy...

Hello and welcome to a Lord of the Rings special  This week we’ll be travelling to Middle Earth to join a group of 9 friends going on a lads holiday with a difference.  There’ll be pints! fireworks, misplaced carrots, uphill gardening, a slow riverboat tour, and the trip will inevitably end with someone getting their big old orcs out for the lads.  Yes, it’s Fellowship of the Ring.&...

Welcome to another Superman special.  This week we’ll be finding what happens when the people of Krypton go for vibes over science, and ask an audience to believe that not only can a man fly, but Marlon Brando can also learn lines.  Yes, it’s Superman the Movie.  Joining me for an extended trip to Teschmacher Peaks, is Johnny Candon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more in...

Hello and welcome to the mean streets of LA as you join us for a white hot night of hate. There’ll be armed gangs, heavy gunfire, harsh beatings, and even harsher ice cream tariffs.  Yes, it’s Assault on Precinct 13 Joining me to ask for a smoke, is Toby Hadoke.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads are back, and this time they need to stop evil from entering a fissure and making a new version of a classic film.  From Feb 2024 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

John, Dean and Dan visit the very height of erotica, and try and pick holes in it.  A Monday Night Movie Club recorded in July 2021. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’ll be returning to Castle Dracula to find that a table is already laid, and dinner prepared for a bunch of proper Kents, though there will be complaints about the lack of garlic in the sauce.  Yes, it’s Dracula: Prince of Darkness Joining me hang upside down and sing Old Red Eyes is Back is Ashley Blaker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

John takes Dan and Dean to Gotham City, to give them a kiss on their rose.  A Monday Night Movie Club episode from February 2021. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.