Myths and Legends

Monkey has been fired. Sandy has been captured. Pigsy is fleeing in terror, and the monk is about to be cut to pieces by a room full of angry guys. Things are not going well. The creature is a buff angry dude whose solution to everything is hitting it with a spiky club. -- Disclaimer: https://myths.link/253b Giant Hoodie Snuggie: https://myths.link/snuggiehoodie Store: https://myths.link/store Mem...

We're back on the road on the Journey to the West and our heroes are starving. The solution? Some murders, some personnel changes, and human buns. The creature is a devil fish, a not-so-friendly businessfish. -- Sponsors: Best Fiends: Download Best Fiends on the App Store or Google Play! Simplisafe: Get 20% off your entire new system. http://simplisafe.com/legends Bombas: Get 20% off any purchase...

Fighting your own fate: it's a theme nearly as old as human civilization. We'll hear two stories of people who both lament their fate...and see that they are profoundly bad at doing anything about it. The first has a sack maker with a one-hit wonder...and a friend who wants to help him change...and who's also a super-rich king. The second is about a man who goes to look for Chance to try to change...

Two stories of Christmas in Iceland. So that apparently means wizards and zombies? The creature is the Cuegle! It's like a walking great white shark with terrible self-esteem -- Sponsors: June's Journey: Check it out on the Apple App Store or Google Play! Grubhub: This holiday season, give the gift of Grubhub. http://grubhub.com Quip: Go to http://getquip.com/myths and you'll get your first refill...

Two stories of absolutely real and definitely not fake doctors! The first is a Grimm tale where a guy goes to medical school and opens a practice! Never mind that his medical school is just a white coat and a bone saw! The second is a bit more legit with one cure-all elixir that really does cure all...and it may or may not be yule ale. The creatures are the buschfrauen! And they will hunt you to t...

Two stories from Giambattista Basile, Neapolitan writer, of angry sisters, busted Mario pipes, and she-bears that are only mad if you try to force them into marriage. The creature is the wiffenpoof, who only wants to eat fancy cheeses and not get your chewing tobacco in his eyes. -- Sponsors: Indeed! Get started right now with a $75 sponsored job credit to upgrade your job post at http://indeed.co...

Two stories of sorcerer's apprentices. The first picks the wrong major at wizard school. The second finds a creative way into school...by becoming a dangerous sorcerer's BFF. The creatures are the elle maids, definitely not suspicious women offering wine to strangers on the road. -- Simplisafe: Get 40% off your entire new system. http://simplisafe.com/legends Olive and June: go to http://oliveandj...

This week, it's the story from Argentina about Senorita Maldonado. We'll learn that sometimes the beasts of the woods might be better than your cruel, micromanaging boss. The creature is a shapeshifting water monster who has one rule for her spouse. Just one. Think he can go without breaking it? Yeah, neither do I. -- Sponsors: Simplisafe: Get 50% off your entire new system. http://simplisafe.com/...

The legendary story of Olga of Kiev, a 10th century queen who's always four steps ahead of her enemies. For the creature of the week, when you're the dogai, you always have a sleeping bag handy. Because they're your ears. -- Sponsors: Best Fiends: Download Best Fiends on the App Store or Google Play! Simplisafe: Get 50% off your entire new system. http://simplisafe.com/legends Grubhub: Order throu...

The story of a pirate princess from Jewish/Polish folklore, we'll see how many fiancees is too many fiancees (the answer, of course, is however many try to marry you at sword-point), and that you really, really don't want to mess with a team of pirate princesses. The creature is a foot umbrella and yoga instructor that doesn't skip leg day. -- Links: Yodeling pickle: https://myths.link/pickle Memb...

A story from Georgian folklore about a king who needs a cure for his condition, the prince who decided that cure was going to be his new pet, and all the problems that come from an animal blood eye wash so maybe don't do an animal blood eye wash. If you give the creature of the week the moon, he's going to want the sun to go with it. Then, we're all pretty much doomed. -- Links: Disclaimer: https:...

Arthur has been kidnapped. Guinevere's evil twin is at large. The kingdom is thrown into chaos. Their hope rests with a bunch of knights putting others first and doing the right thing. Yeah, they're pretty much doomed. The creature is a soft-bodied, vampire hunter with crazy black hair. Finally, a Halloween costume I can pull off. -- Sponsors: Zocdoc: Go to http://zocdoc.com/myths and download the...

The story of Queen Guinevere as she goes from princess, to queen, to convict. The creature is the Ciguapa, from Haitian and Dominican folklore, and you'll see that if you're asking which monsters to follow into the dark forest, you're kind of already making questionable decisions. -- Sponsors: [Gravely voice] Check out The Sandman: Act Two on Audible by going to http://audible.com/dreaming Best Fi...

The story of Zjermi, Handa, the dragon Kuchedra, and about a hundred naked armpit angels from Albania. When it comes to the creature this week, look, we all need our "me" time, just don't transform your children into sleepy foxes to get it. -- Sponsors: Headspace: Get one month free of their entire meditation library at http://headspace.com/legends ! Bombas: Get 20% off your first order at http://...

In a story from the folklore of the Sorko people who lived along the Niger river in West Africa, a hippo is causing all sorts of trouble. I mean, hippos are dangerous, but ones that can sprout ovens on their back and shoot fire streams like some kind of final-evolution Pokemon mean this village needs a hero. The creature is Babamik! She's a deranged murderer who had it all...until her daughter sta...

The conclusion of "A Heart of Stone" by Wilhelm Hauff, where we see what happens when Peter Munk, out of options after threatening the Little Glass Man, turns to the devil to help himself through dire circumstances. The creature, the okuri-inu (送り犬) is a dog that might help you out when you need it most...because when it comes to killing you, this dog has dibs. -- Links: Disclaimer and source:...

A German fairy tale about striving, falling short, and then seeking help from dangerous mythological creatures to help you pick up the slack. The creature is Azrail, the giant who is terrible at fighting. -- Sponsors: Butcherbox: Get free ground beef for life! Sign up at http://butcherbox.com/myths and get two pounds of ground beef free in every order for the life of your membership. Grubhub: chec...

Three stories from the Grimm brothers of people helping someone out. Sometimes that goes well. Other times you end up with an indescribable urge to bury your nose in filth and hunt for truffles. The creatures are three generations of sleazy Irish water creatures on a redemption arc. -- Post/disclaimer: https://myths.link/239 Shakespeare bandages: https://myths.link/insult-bandages Twitter: https:/...

A story from India about what happens when a murder cult who turns intruders into dogs moves in across the river and why you should get as far away as possible...because of the murder cult that turns people into dogs. The creature is Bolster the giant! He has fun festivals celebrating him (dying)! -- Sponsors: Simplisafe ! Save 20% off your Simplisafe system and get your first month free when you...

Odysseus confronts the suitors, and our long journey comes to its end. The creatures (Bakwas and Dzunukwa) just want to make you a roommate in their strange, invisible house. Or kill you. Or both. -- Sponsors: Halo Collar: Go to http://shophalocollar.com/myths to save 20% on your Halo Collar! Grubhub: Check it out! Order through the Grubhub app or online at http://grubhub.com Butcherbox: Right now...

Odysseus finally landed on Ithaca, but, with 120 angry, armed men in his house who want his wife and life, can he survive his homecoming? The creatures are Black Annis and Gentle Annis. Black Annis is a pale blue and Gentle Annis wrecks boats. -- Sponsors: Simplisafe ! Save 20% off your Simplisafe system and get your first month free when you sign up for Interactive Monitoring Service by going to...

This week, we're in French fairy tales with queen who prepared her daughter for the world a little too well, and to the queen's despair she doesn't want to marry, choosing to rely instead on her own strength and judgement. Oh, and also there are griffin fights, dragons, sphinxes, giant turkey chariots, evil fairies, and cat-riding mythological dwarves. It's a big week. The creature is a toad full...

Three stories from Korean folklore! On the first, a boy loves collecting stories, but no one really taught him proper story care, so they went the way of so many carnival goldfish. On the second, a young man protests his unfair (and kind of murdery) working conditions...by turning his boss's lunchbox into a toilet. On the third, there are people, there are cows, and no one can tell the two apart....

This week, there are two stories from the north. On the first, a young Danish man is doing the hero's journey thing...but it's not going well, and that leads to him taking a job working for an actual troll. On the second story, from Iceland, we learn why, if a merman ends up in your net, you should pull an Elsa and just let it go. The creature is a rock monster who goes up against the Slayer of Al...

We finish up our current run of King Arthur episodes with the most evil castle in the land having fallen...maybe. Some knights will learn that the threat might not be so far removed, and Lancelot meets the dastardly commander of the Dolorous Guard...who might actually be pretty terrible at his job of being terrible. The creature is the Yech, a tiny shapeshifting cat in a top hat! Who wants to set...