Inner Stillness Outer Chaos

Picture this: you muster up the courage to set a boundary, but instead of the smooth sailing you hoped for, it's like hitting a brick wall. The other person reacts with confusion, frustration, or even hostility. What went wrong? The belief that we can’t change what someone feels in response to our boundary, well this can really mess up our relationships and our own well-being. It sets us...

I never used to be the kind of person that would get anxious or overwhelmed. I used to be proud of that and think it was a skill especially when I was working as an ICU Registered Nurse and things were going sideways that day. Turns out it was dissociation, aka a coping mechanism from trauma. What can I say, hindsight’s a jerk sometimes. Now, the truth is I get very anxious, not just my OCD...

Hindsight’s a jerk sometimes. You know, that moment when you look back at an experience and now you see the red flags and the warning signs... … or the hindsight that makes you aware of what things you could have done differently to prevent life from going as sideways for you as it did. Of course you didn’t notice all of these things in the moment because…well who knows w...

I have always been a highly sensitive person, but I haven’t always felt free to be a highly sensitive person. In fact, for a lot of my life I tried to shut it down and shove all of the emotions away into a corner of my body somewhere never to be seen again… …or at least that was the plan. I think everyone who identifies as a highly sensitive person has been told at least once i...

A little while ago, a client of mine shared that they were at odds with themselves because they didn’t feel ‘masculine enough’ and that they operated ‘too much in the feminine’ energy. But at the same time, they didn’t want to be caught up in the culture of toxic masculinity either. They noticed that I had a Yin Yang symbol in one of my tattoos and asked what I...

Yoga has absolutely changed my life, but not solely from the mat based asana practice. However, when I was first introduced to yoga that’s all I knew it to be! Yoga was where you went to feel calm, stretch and maybe get stronger depending on the class that you signed up for. Only after completing my yoga teacher training and teaching for a while did I encounter the complexities of Westernize...

Have you ever had a moment where it feels like a part of the authentic version of you just fell into place? I just had another moment like that this past week, and it shifted a lot of things for me. All the way from sudoku and jigsaw puzzles on my phone, to how I view mental health medications for myself. In a recent session with my therapist, she told me something which I already have heard a tho...

I’m a few weeks into the Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) for my OCD, which I’ve talked about in the last few posts, so if you’re curious what that’s all about check it out here and here. Basically it’s a way to lean into the anxiety, rather than do something to try and calm it or make it go away. Turns out this is especially helpful with OCD because my obsessive th...

It’s been a few weeks of Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) therapy for my OCD - which is the gold standard treatment for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder where you intentionally create opportunities for anxiety and fear to rise up, and then don’t do the compulsion that normally alleviates that fear.  The problem was, I was hitting a bit of a roadblock.  The good news is that al...

The Sound of Sunshine - Michael Franti & Spearhead   I know it’s only February and it seems like it’s really early to start thinking about planning a garden, but the truth is in my corner of Canada our growing season is typically really short - like June through the end of August into the beginning of September kind of short. This means that for a more prolific vegetable garde...

I came to a realization recently that I thought might be helpful to share because it highlighted one of the sneaky ways we can sabotage ourselves. It’s so sneaky because it feels like we’re really just trusting our own intuition and experience - but really it’s just trying to keep everything the same because, to our nervous system, “the same” is safe. But as I’m...

The idea for this episode came from a recent episode of Ted Lasso where one of the main characters, Rebecca, is about to do something powerful and scary and huge all at once. And she looks in the mirror before heading out the door and she sees the five year old version of herself smiling back at her. It got me thinking… What would I want the younger version of myself to know? If I could wri...

Feeling down and out, like life's throwing you too many punches?  This is for you.

Have you ever had that moment where you suddenly feel like the clouds have parted, the sun in warming your face again and you have some of your hope restored? Hope that you didn't even realize you had lost? That's exactly what happened to me recently and in this week's episode I tell you what happened and give you the perfect song to dance to and help bring out this feeling. Because th...

Trigger Warning: suicidal ideation, secondary suicide, self-harm, drugs, opioid crisis When it gets dark and all feels too much, please keep fighting for yourself. I want to meet you someday, so don't go anywhere until then. For crisis line information in your country please look here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

At the beginning of this year, I was getting pretty excited that this would be the year I was going to change my name legally and fully become Avery. But I hesitated, and last night in my journaling session I discovered why.

I am the queen of double standards.  It’s easy for me to excuse forgetfulness, mistakes, or the harmful words and actions of others and say “well they’re just doing the best they can.” But when it comes to the times that I forget, that I made a mistake, that I said something wrong or hurtful, or that I did something I know I shouldn’t have done - well … I...

“I don’t know what you’re going through, but I’m sending you some love. I know we don’t know each other, and I know it may not be easy, but I do know you will figure out a way to get through this.” I chose my words very carefully because: number one, I know the power of words and the importance of meaning what you say and saying what you mean. And number two: I...

I have a confession to make. To be honest so far I’ve been playing it safe. Sharing carefully crafted vulnerable stories is a safe space for me. In this episode, though, I’m going to share my opinion on something that might be a bit controversial. And that scares the shit out of me. My inner people pleaser who doesn’t like to rock the boat is not a fan of what I’m about to...

I have a lantern tattoo on my right arm, and although it is beautiful, my favorite part is that the glass in the lantern is broken. The little winding cracks in the glass are very intentional and I want to share why.

In this episode I share a very vulnerable moment of me fully experiencing the loss, grief, shame, guilt and resentment of the effects of having a chronic illness and disability. I share the thing that shifted for me to help me to move forward, as well as the song that inspired the change.

Do you have a childhood memory that haunts you? One that keeps you stuck? One that you wish you could move past? In this episode I share one of those childhood memories that had held me back for the majority of my life - and the moment that shattered that unhelpful belief and allowed me to start finding my voice.

In this episode I share the two questions I ask myself every morning, and the reasons why - along with a beautiful song that reminds me how to have no regrets when I'm at the end of my life.

Have you ever had a moment in your life that felt sparkly? Magical? In this episode I share a few of those moments with you, as well as the song I use to spark the magic again if I feel I'm getting caught up in the hustle and grind of day-to-day life.