Healing the Unresolved

Today’s podcast answers a question from a grieving mother. Since her son had passed away by taking his own life years ago, she has limited herself to several prayers she had found that imply that the one praying the prayers is risking sinning and has led to the mother feeling shamed. How to handle praying for those who committed suicide is discussed in this podcast.

Today’s podcast speaks to what are realistic expectations of the healing work. The end result is not the absence of struggle or the complete disappearance of difficult emotions. The reality is, a little bit of pain and struggle are directional and we need them to keep moving and not get too comfortable in this world. The example of Saint Paul is also discussed. In the end, our struggles are not si...

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who is trying to start their life with their husband, but the pain and dysfunction of their family of origin calls for them daily. Even though the submitter of the question is married and outside of their childhood home, they are still playing the same role they did when they were a child. Today’s podcast discusses how to break free from a family of...

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who grew up in a fatherless home, and there was also much conflict and upset. As a result of these experiences, the submitter of the question experiences intense fear and stress around members of the opposite gender. Despite having done much work on this, they still struggle. They have also fallen into sexual addiction as a way to cope with the pain...

Today’s podcast speaks to a request by a listener, to speak on the topic of accountability, specifically in a parish setting. A healthy parish is one that does not tolerate negative or unhealthy behavior. This means being able to have the difficult conversations. Also, the perception that we can sometimes hide our negative behaviors in the church and not have to work on them is also addressed.

Today’s podcast focuses on how to discern the difference between being selfish and selfless, specifically around setting boundaries or anytime we assert ourselves. When it comes to depicting the self as bad, we have to be very careful when speaking in absolutes or in all or nothing language. The reality is, when someone is healing from trauma, there are times when the sense of self has to be focus...

Today’s podcast answers a question from a parent who is in the process of exploring colleges for their teenager. They feel influenced by parents who put pressure on their kids to get into elite schools and yet feel envious of parents who are relaxed and have no need to put pressure on their kids. The submitter of the question asks if there’s a sweet spot or balanced position to have so that they’r...

Today’s podcast speaks to a topic that is relevant to all the questions that have been submitted. That topic is the reality that awareness is becoming less present in this world. Many people are feeling disillusioned with humanity and existentially alone. However, whether just discouraged with humanity because of the present state of the world or from having suffered from trauma, the presence of h...

Today’s podcast is a discussion about a subtle mindset that affects so many of us. Without realizing it, we go through our lives in a mindset in which we are always waiting for some future moment when will finally relax and live as God meant for us to live. In the meantime, our present stressors and tasks are perceived as obstacles. We are often waiting for that moment where we feel we will have a...

Today’s podcast answers the question from someone who has been often misunderstood throughout their lives and in their parish, to the point of becoming alienated from their parish. They openly admit they have Asperger’s and are on the developmental spectrum. Today’s podcast discusses what this means for us spiritually, and how to fit it into the spiritual life and also the parish life.

Today’s podcast reflects on one of the reasons why God sometimes feels so distant when we need Him the most during times of stress. The sudden onset of stress or a crisis, trigger many of us in ways that cause us to over function and over control because we suddenly don’t trust anyone or anything. This can cloud out the presence of God in our lives and cause Him to feel very distant, like we canno...

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone seeking advice on how to find long-term success and stability in their relationships. Attachment issues can be a big cause of instability in relationship building. The hypervigilance for any sign of rejection in a relationship can make friendships hard to sustain. Becoming aware of these patterns and having balanced hopes and boundaries in relationsh...

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who feels completely disconnected from God, specifically His love and forgiveness. Children, when in stressful situations, will often cope by blaming themselves. This can lead to a life of guilt over things they never did wrong. This can often lead to believing and feeling like the love of God is for everyone except us.

Today’s podcast offers a reflection on how the healing work is a profound way of taking up our cross as well as deepening our ascetical life. It is very important to be reminded that our healing work is not outside of our spiritual life nor contrary to it, but rather an integral part of our spiritual life and a great enhancer of it.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who is suffering from social anxiety, to the point where they no longer interact with people or go outside. The constant ruminating over how we talked, communicated, or interacted, can cause some to completely avoid interactions. Today’s podcast focuses on casting a light on the path that the submitter of question can take so that the sound of their...

Abandonment and rejection are painful experiences that can make us feel like we have no emotional home. Also, they can make us live like we are living a life on the run; running from humanity, and from ever having those experiences again. Unfortunately when we do this, we will never heal and we will stay trapped in the abandonment and rejection we experienced. Today’s podcast answers questions fro...

Today’s podcast answers the question from someone who spent years in a monastery, but after some struggles stepped away but plans on going back. The submitter of the question is struggling with their understanding and perceptions of their experience, and wondering if they need more counseling to resolve what feels unresolved.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who endured painful experiences at an early age and is struggling to understand how they can find their way back to a healthy place in the church, with God, and as a healthy orthodox Christian. Traumatic experiences leave us feeling bad, shameful, and defective. We often have to come to realize that it was the experiences that were deeply flawed, not...

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who had a negative experience in confession and is afraid to go back. The discussion focuses on what healthy confession should look like and how confession is in encounter with God. It is an opportunity to, in an experiential way, experience the mercy and love of God. It is important that we find our way back to confession in order to give ourselves...

Today’s podcast takes a break from answering questions and offers a glimpse or even a sneak preview of what awaits us on the other side of the healing work. Truly we can reach that state where the healing work is done and we are free to just be completely mindful of the present. Where we can find ourselves in a complete state of peace and mindfulness in which there is no more clutter or noise from...

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone engaged in the process of healing trauma. In the process of their counseling they have tried some exercises from somatic therapy. Trauma is not only stored in memories, but in the body. Many people are phobic or nervous about anything that involves focusing on the body. However, in our orthodox tradition, the body is not bad and is a temple of the Ho...

Today’s podcast answers the question of what does the late stages of the healing work look like. How do we recognize it and what exactly are we striving for. It is important to be able to recognize that new space when we arrive. We need the necessary knowledge so that we can recognize the past from present and utilize the tools we learned along the way. It also means learning to accept the sunshin...

Goodbyes are universally difficult. This is especially true when they involve someone who has played a key role in our lives. Some ensuing sadness is normal. However, what if we experience more than that? What if each time we have to say a goodbye or separate from someone, we feel like something traumatic is happening and find ourselves overwhelmed with grief? This often means that something else...

Today’s podcast offers a message to start our healing work and spiritual life off on the right foot in the new year. The pace and spirit in which we move through our spiritual lives and the healing work are critical and often imbalanced. Today’s podcast covers key points to help maintain balance.

Today’s podcast answers the question of what are some concrete steps someone can follow in grieving a disenfranchised loss such as the loss of a normal childhood. The submitter of the question is feeling stuck in the healing work and don’t know if they have even started grieving. Sometimes when we have started grieving, we might feel disoriented and not quite sure where we are in the process. Toda...