Getting Through This with Tom and Scott

Tom and Scott discover that a summer ski lift up Hunter Mountain, can be terrifying. So why do all the other riders seem so relaxed and carefree? At least, it’s almost ten degrees cooler at the summit, proving that “It’s cooler in the Catskills “.

Tom’s visit to Kingston in upstate New York inspires him and Scott to create a new word “quainterrific” and a new description of the Catskills as “America’s Tuscany”. We don’t ask for any recompense for these ideas, but we would welcome parties in our honor, preferably without food on skewers.

Tom and Scott once again propose “A Super in every House”, a WPA style program to give every homeowner a live in super, the service that rental apartment dwellers enjoy. Plus, we pitch another “new” 1950’s sitcom, “I’m Not Your Super!”, starring Fred Gwynn, as a Harvard educated academic who inadvertently applies for a job as a super, instead of superintendent of schools.

Tommy’s harrowing experience before and after flying from LA to NY is punctuated by our flights of fancy involving our ideas for Off Broadway shows staged in the 1960’s, thanks to the Time Travel Casting of our almost completed time machine.

On the way to meet a friend at Le Pain Quotidien in Central Park, Scott actually gets lost, and must endure the indignity of having the person he asked for directions, think he’s a rube from out of town. Tom and Scott set out to cast the movie version of The Lost Man, and plan to use their not yet finished time machine to cast a 1960’s Jack Lemmon and Spencer Tracy. This ability to cast in the pas...

Tom loves water, so he’s moving back East where there are lakes and rivers galore. Galore is one of those happy words, that is only used to describe things you like and nothing negative. Scott reveals that Chinese restaurants are the best place to get the coldest and freshest water.

For the first time in four months, Scott attends a film screening, and hopes that The World’s Greatest Audience Member has still got it. Tommy proposes that every person in the world gets to receive a rousing ovation, flowers, and the chance to be at Sardi’s to wait for the rave reviews to come in.

We shine the spotlight on The Inconvenienced, those drivers on Topanga Canyon in LA, forced to expensively idle in their cars for hours because of the Pan American Summit traffic. Plus, we speculate on what would happen if we walked past the stage door at Carnegie Hall, a frantic stage manager yelled, They’re here!” and we see a giant poster of us with the words, “Appearing Tonight”.

When you spend three hours watching your team lose on television, why can’t the coach acknowledge us in the post game news conference? Because those are three hours we’re not getting back, although if our team won, we wouldn’t be getting them back either. Plus, we introduce the “Relief Fan”, who joins the crowd midway through the game to replace a tired and possibly drunk fan.

After getting caught in yet another downpour, Scott implores the umbrella industry to come up with a quarter sized, inflatable one that you can hide in your pocket when it’s sunny, so you’re not mocked for carrying an umbrella when it’s not raining, Tom crafts a Clio worthy public service commercial that urges the industry to step up and invent such an umbrella.

We introduce our new travel concept,&“A Tourist In Your Own City”. Plus, how standing on line for ice cream can cure depression. And we preview our potentially upcoming tour of science schools with our lecture, “Invent or Debunk: Which is Better?” And, how a rent by the hour office can be better than the Sistine Chapel.

On our 500th episode, we play the first words Tom and Scott uttered on the first episode from April Fools Day 2020. When the world shut down, we had to create a new one that’s funny, hopeful, helpful, slightly delusional but ultimately plausible. We’ve championed Little Victories, where we get joy from simple, easily attainable things. And we’ve done it all with the voice of a 1940’s travelogue an...

In our never ending quest to identify and compensate phrase creators, we sing the praises of “mutual admiration society “, an expression invented by Thoreau. If the world could be a mutual admiration society, with praisers instead of appraisers, oh what a world that would be. Lavish compliments and holding each other in high esteem, is the way we treat each other on this podcast. And it will lead...

Scott procrastinates in real time, for an unprecedented second time, about using his new Waterpik Water Flosser. And vows to “Say the Say and Do the Do”, in the first time that phrase has ever been spoken. Tom creates a Clio Award winning montage of active, happy people playing sports, and sampling fun food and drink, with the big reveal, “I’m A Procrastinator”.

Tom and Scott introduce Coin The Phrase, our lobbying effort to finally pay phrase creators, who have previously not received recompense for their work. And Tom is asked to pick the background music for his house video, and fears he will be blamed if that music causes the house to linger on the market.

Scott implores the scientific community to “embarrass us with one more rich”, by inventing a way for those who test positive to find out “How they Got It.” Plus, we propose making money through word investing, where you create a word and reap the profits every time someone says it.

Tom and Scott think it’s a good thing to live in the past, but even though you can get a great deal on a medieval castle, they don’t recommend moving to the past. Renting in the past is a better option. Plus, will the teepee placed in the kid’s bedroom by Tom’s stagers cause his house to be canceled?

Scott and Tom never imagined they would ever be considered math geniuses, but after analyzing the cliches “In No Time” and “No Time Flat”, they can picture eager MIT brainiacs feverishly writing the applicable math formulas on a CinemaScope sized blackboard, while they sit in the back of the classroom nodding approvingly. Can a Nobel Prize in math be next?

Tom fears being asked to be the captain of a nuclear submarine, which may be unlikely, but You Can’t Rule It Out, which could be an early 70’s game show with Tom Kennedy as host. Scott ponders whether he would perform a one nighter on a submarine if the money was right. And then both of them realize it would be inevitable that after Scott’s successful show, Tom, not Scott, would be asked to captai...

Tom has to leave his house for eight hours, so the “stagers” can completely redecorate it in a style that’s the antithesis of his design tastes. But hopefully the teepee and ceramic cactus in the newly created kid’s bedroom will add hundreds of thousands to the sale price.

Tom and Scott pitch a 1959 Twilight Zone where a man wishes for the biggest check in the world, and gets a football sized one that is impossible to cash or deposit. And we invent a partial cure for procrastination.

On Earth Day, Scott creates an ad campaign “Walking is the best step you can take to save the environment.” And “Your footprint can reduce your carbon footprint.” Plus, Tommy proposes Throwback Thursdays for press conferences, where Jen Psaki can wear a 1940’s outfit like Rosalind Russell wore in The Front Page.

Scott walks the walk and talks the talk about walking. Will that lead to being named the head of the currently nonexistent President’s Commission on Walking? About what about Tom’s vision for a gigantic monument to The Pedestrian that will also serve as a bridge across the East River?

Since there’s no time like the present( except the seconds before and after), Scott decides, for the first time in almost two years, to start reading a book. Now that he is 23 pages in to The Boys Club by Erica Katz, will he be invited to speak at q and a’s at the Strand and Rizzoli, and sign copies of other people’s books?

As he prepares to move, Tom feels the weight of the world on his shoulders as he decides what to do with a coffee table book the size of an actual coffee table. Scott creates a new job, Premise Supervisor, who performs spot checks to ensure comedians aren’t using outdated references in their premises. So, no Eastern Airlines setups. Plus Tom suggests a new profession as well, a Praiser, who unlike...