An Evolving Man Podcast

Today I explore the question about childhood neglect and boarding school. I draw upon the writings of David Cameron, ex-Prime Minister of England who said about his boarding school, "The food was spartan. I lost a stone in weight during a single term. There was one meal that consisted of curry, rice – and maggots. "  https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7464599/How-David-Camerons-bru...

Childhood Neglect What is it and why is it so damaging? Today I offer some reflections about childhood trauma and neglect. I share some reflections about the work of Bessel Van der Kolk, Gabor Mate and Judith Herman.  I like to look through the indexes of many authors before I prepare a video or audio. Interestingly, there were no references to neglect in any of the books in the indexes. Why is it...

Richard Grannon shares today about narcissism, codependency and his experiences growing up in Portugal and then in boarding school. How was it for him? He also talks about his experiences of martial arts and what he learned from training in different martial forms. He talks about narcissism, codependency, and complex PTSD. He also shares about George Orwell's 1984 and some of the psychology o...

 What Is Trauma?  Today I wanted to share some thoughts from Gabor Mate, Peter Levine and Bessel Van der Kolk on trauma.  What is it?  What is the definition of trauma?  Any questions please do let me know.  Warm regards, Piers  --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  H...

Today I explore the question about child abuse and boarding school.  I draw upon the writings of David Cameron, ex-Prime Minister of England, who said about his boarding school, "The food was spartan. I lost a stone in weight during a single term. There was one meal that consisted of curry, rice – and maggots. " https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7464599/How-David-Camerons-brutal-p...

On today's podcast I am speaking with Yuval Mann about many fascinating areas around sex and relationships. How do we deal with feelings of sexual shame that we may have carried from childhood? Yuval talks about the importance of coming back into the body and slowing down. A really fascinating episode. --- Yuval Mann is the founder of the Sensual Alchemy School Of Integrated Sexuality and he&...

What is Boarding School Syndrome? Today I am offering some reflections about what is boarding school syndrome.  I often talk about boarding school syndrome in more detailed terms but today I wanted to go back to the basics. What is it? And what are the ABCD of boarding school syndrome as coined by Dr Joy Schaverien? And what about the symptoms of this syndrome? What are they? I share stories from...

Mervin Canham is an addictions specialist and co-leader at The Mankind Project (MKP). The MKP is an organisation aimed at changing the world one man at a time, allowing men to touch a piece of their shadow by being vulnerable with other men.  Questions he answers: I would love for you to share how you got into the work that you now do? Could you please talk about addictions and addiction recovery....

On Saturday August 12th 10-5pm I am running an online workshop for ex-boarders (male and female) and therapists around the subject of boarding school and the path of recovery. The morning session will be talking about some of the leading research into trauma, neglect and boarding school.  The afternoon session will be exploring some of the leading edge techniques that I use with my clients.  Some...

Today I am delighted to be speaking to Alan Clements. Alan, who is an author and an ex-Buddhist monk talks today about his journeys as a monastic in war-torn Burma now Myanmar. He shares some of the wisdom he learned living in the jungles of Sri Lanka and Burma and his work as a journalist interviewing many of the political prisoner of Burma. He also shares some of the insights into war, extreme c...

Today I wanted to share some reflections about childhood trauma and dissociation. In this video I share some of my thoughts about how as a result of childhood trauma we dissociate. I quote from the work of Bessel Van der Kolk and his book the Body Keeps The Score and from the other classic book on trauma, Trauma and Recovery by Dr Judith Herman. I talk about some of my own experiences of why and h...

What does neuroscience say about trauma? And what does childhood trauma look like through the lens of polyvagal theory and subconscious beliefs? Today I am speaking with leading coach and trauma expert, Jane Evans to talk about these subjects. She shares some of her journey working with children and in fostering and the impact of childhood trauma. She also shares how we can start to heal from this...

 "I can't do this any more", "This is too much", "Life is too hard" and "I want out".  What can we do when we start to feel this way?  What can you do when life just seems too intense?  I talk about 5 ways of dealing with these feelings.  Come back to the basics - the fundamentals of eating, moving and sleeping Work with the traffic light system of Bria...

How does childhood trauma impact our relationships? How might these symptoms of childhood trauma show up in our lives? On today's podcast I am speaking with a leading counsellor and psychotherapist about just this topic. Wendy Capewell shares some of her own experiences and stories to help illuminate how impactful trauma is in our lives and how it effects your relationships. --- Wendy Capewel...

If you have been through trauma the chances are that you have a very powerful and often negative inner critic. This is one of the ways that we cope with trauma. Our inner critic comes online to protect us. And on one level it did protect us. The question is does it protect us still or does it keep us in our trauma? This same voice can be so hateful, cricitcal and blaming of ourselves. Especially w...

Today I offer some reflections about slowing down and taking a break.  If you have been through some form of trauma then the chances are you are pretty hard on yourself.  You work hard and you are often giving yourelf a hard time.  Today I suggest that what is really useful is to slow down and to stop.  To take a break and sit in your garden.  Time to be still, meditate and take care of yourself. ...

 Today I wanted to offer some reflections about my time as a Novice Buddhist monk.  Why on earth did I go from working in the finance sector of London to becoming a Buddhist monk?  What was it like? What are the daily routine like for a Buddhist monk?  Why did monastic life seem so simliar to boarding school but in a good way?  What were some of the good things about being a Buddhist monk?  And wh...

Trauma and relationships. How does trauma impact your relationship? And what can you do? Today I am speaking with one of the world's leading teachers in the world of relationships, sexuality and trauma.  Shashi Solluna is the author of Tantra Made Easy and teaches around the world at festivals and on retreats.  What a fascinating discussion with a woman who studied psychology at Oxford Univer...

Today I wanted to share some reflections about Boris Johnson.  With the resignation of Boris Johnson last week I wanted to share some thoughts from a psychological perspective. Why is Boris the way he is? Could any of his behaviours be due to childhood trauma and specifically Boarding School Syndrome?  Here I quote from the likes of Prof Joy Schaverien, Dr Judith Herman, Nick Duffell, Peter Levine...

Today's episode we ask the question, "Is it time to abolish boarding schools?  Psychotherapist, Richard Hughes talks about his own experience of boarding school and working with clients. Why have boarding schools not changed? Why do boarding schools not offer “the love and care a child needs?” What can we do to start changing the system? --- Richard Hughes is a qualified and accredited p...

Today I am looking at betrayal trauma and the work of Jennifer Freyd PhD.  What is betrayal trauma?  And why is betrayal the key element that makes an experience become traumatic especially in childhood?  I read some of the words of Joy Schaverien PhD and Nick Duffell from his book Wounded Leaders.  They talk about how for some boarding school is a betrayal.  So if it is a betrayal is it then a tr...

On today's show I am talking about prisons, men managing distress, boarding schools and our leaders with one of the UK's leading forensic clinical psychologists. It's a fascinating discussion about Dr Murphy's work in the UK's secure prison units working with some of the most dangerous men. What did she learn? How did she teach these men to move from anger and violence to...

On Saturday last weekend I went back to the site of my childhood trauma. I went back to my boarding school. It was the first time that I have been back inside the school for 25 years. Today I offer some reflections for how it was. How did I find it? Was it really hard? Or was it harder than I was expecting? I talk about visiting the dining hall, the chapel, the site of the death of my friend, and...

 Trish Brennan is the CEO & Principal Trainer of Leading Edge Communication. She coaches women who want to have more confidence in their relationships, be more assertive, establish healthy boundaries and radically improve the quality of their lives through enhanced communication and relationship skills. She is also the author of The Straight Talk. I would love for you to share some of your jou...

 Last weekend I returned to London again.  While I was there I found myself walking past, by synchronicity, my old workplace.  So I recorded these films...  I went past old pubs I used to drink in, the office I worked in and the realisation of just how close my old workplace was to the original site of my boarding school.  I also had the insight that being in the City, the financial sector, was ve...